pc31 Posted May 7, 2013 Posted May 7, 2013 Hi all, please read the story below and help me answer whether or not he is serious with me - I like him, but I am scared of being hurt. Thanks for your help. I met this guy by chance while I was on vacation in Singapore - He's Indian from India, but is working in Singapore. During my short while in Singapore, he volunteered to be my tour guide and took me everywhere & also offered to pay a few small things, like coffee and drinks and whatever. There were a few times we ended up holding hands while walking and it felt really nice. Nothing too sexual happened, we didn't even kiss. Then vacation was over; I came back to my country, thinking it was over. However he's been very persistent in keeping in touch. These days I find myself texting with him everyday and we even did a few skype sessions a week. He talked about visiting me in my country and yesterday he told me he finally just booked the flight and now we have a concrete day that we would see each other again. I'm super excited but at the same time, I'm nervous because I initially only considered this a vacation "fling" (although no sex involved). He's been very nice to me.. we talked about almost everything, from career to family to past relationships.. He said he wanted to see me again to confirm how he felt and that's exactly what I wanted to as well... In one of the convos, he mentioned that he's not really looking for a short relationship and that he's ready to settle down if the girl is right.. So well so okay, it does sound perfect, but the problem is that he is Indian and we all know that Indian culture more or less requires people to get married to other people of their own caste.. All my friends are telling me to drop this because there's no way he would go against his parents' wishes. Then there's the problem of long distance. He's working in Singapore... He kinda wants me to move to Singapore with him, which is fine with me because I really like Singapore... but i know that he only wants to stay in Singapore for a few years.. Although he said has reviewed his plan lately, his initial plan was to stay in Singapore only a few more years and then move back to India.. Well, I told him I absolutely don't want to move to India... Okay, so I have heard that Indian men could use non-Indian women for sex in a short while but never really intend to marry her and would always end up with an Indian woman in the end.. That REALLY bothers me.. I can't help but wondering if all he is doing now is just to use me for a short while? (BTW, I'm not American/Canadian/European, so I cannot give him a greencard hahaha) What do you think? Please help! Thanks so much! :-*
Emilia Posted May 7, 2013 Posted May 7, 2013 So well so okay, it does sound perfect, but the problem is that he is Indian and we all know that Indian culture more or less requires people to get married to other people of their own caste.. All my friends are telling me to drop this because there's no way he would go against his parents' wishes. Then there's the problem of long distance. He's working in Singapore... He kinda wants me to move to Singapore with him, which is fine with me because I really like Singapore... but i know that he only wants to stay in Singapore for a few years.. Although he said has reviewed his plan lately, his initial plan was to stay in Singapore only a few more years and then move back to India.. Well, I told him I absolutely don't want to move to India... Okay, so I have heard that Indian men could use non-Indian women for sex in a short while but never really intend to marry her and would always end up with an Indian woman in the end.. That REALLY bothers me.. I can't help but wondering if all he is doing now is just to use me for a short while? (BTW, I'm not American/Canadian/European, so I cannot give him a greencard hahaha) What do you think? Please help! Thanks so much! :-* My last ex was Indian and while we were good friends initially, I found his cultural values very restricting. He was brought up as the eldest and with views that women are a bit helpless and no matter what we say, the man's word goes. Our 'relationship' lasted for a very short time and friendship didn't survive this. He knew before we got together that I didn't want kids and didn't want to get married again but as soon as we started dating it became clear that all the amicability that we shared beforehand was just a front. He did try to compromise but all in all I'd say his values weren't suited to an equal partnership. Expect that he will want things on his terms basically. I have to go OP, will check this thread later.
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