aisuru Posted May 7, 2013 Posted May 7, 2013 **sight** Part of me believes this breakup is for the best... Part of me not obviously... I texted him tonight, "I miss you. Sorry but I do. So much I want to tell you and share with you. I hope you are doing well." UGH. I wanted to be stronger than this. Thought I was stronger than this. 1
Skipper888 Posted May 7, 2013 Posted May 7, 2013 dont worry i have done the same. Me ex and i have been on and off again for last 3/4 months. I texted her today. 'This is so hard, we both hurt more when we are apart how can that be right?' Then i wrote ' sorry, i leave you to move on with your life and be happy' I'm such a loser ehhh couldnt commit to me or want to work on us in the first place why would she respond to me. I just want her to be miserable and not be able to get over me. She left me for another guy and was confused so hope she finds misery with him or whatever she does with her life she had it made with me and i sacrificed so much yet she is too young and silly to realise what a serious adult relationship is like. If you are committed you dont want to go out with your friends partying each week and have the feeling of missing out. You should be soooo happy that you get to enjoy every moment with a person that loves you so much. But thats obviously not how she felt. We should just forget about them the quicker the better i say, she doesnt deserve me time or thoughts anymore. I say she meant absolutely nothing to me cause that makes me hate her and forget her.
EmptyWalls Posted May 7, 2013 Posted May 7, 2013 I wanted to be stronger than this. Thought I was stronger than this. Hang in there aisuru we all make mistakes. You were just being honest, but I've learned being honest with them does nada!! Especially if the break up was their idea, cause they simply don't care. I have been limited contact since our break up in Jan. just responding if I "have to" not "want to". Wish I could go full NC and I will go full NC after the end of this month. Free of all obligations to each other finally! So many times I have typed the same thing into my phone with my finger hovering over the send button. But I hit clear and put the phone done because I know it wont change anything. She knows how I feel even if I act strong when I do see her. Hell she saw me at my worst the night she gave up on 7 yrs. So don't blame your self, you are strong! Believe that! It's just going to take some time. But its best just to say your goodbyes. 1
crederer Posted May 7, 2013 Posted May 7, 2013 I was dumped. Went 7 weeks no contact. Then we texted a few times for about a week. We met up in person once, then a few days later she called me crying. I made a point of not saying anything like "I miss you" or anything that shows I want her back (she already knows I do, I'm sure). Every interaction I've had has basically been me telling her that I'm good. The day she called crying she said "I'm sorry, I know this must be hard on you to hear me. I know I broke your heart, I'm so sorry" and my response was, in a very level voice "I'm fine, seriously don't worry about me. It sounds like you're having a harder time than I". Then she said she wanted to meet up again. I said sure let me know a time that works for you. She never got back to me on that and that was about 3 weeks ago and I've made a point of NC since then. I think if you are going to have contact it's important to not give them things to feed their ego. You have to regain some control in the situation, for yourself and so they don't think they have you in their back pocket. 2
zendon73 Posted May 7, 2013 Posted May 7, 2013 **sight** Part of me believes this breakup is for the best... Part of me not obviously... I texted him tonight, "I miss you. Sorry but I do. So much I want to tell you and share with you. I hope you are doing well." UGH. I wanted to be stronger than this. Thought I was stronger than this. I did the same last night. I was having an awful day and I launched into text after text about her making a mistake and everything else. She then turned it around on me saying I pushed her away and I put her on eggshells around me. This was never brought up once during 4 years and I feel awful. I wish I never did it and it only pushed her further away as she said she will talk when she is ready. I feel your pain. 1
Author aisuru Posted May 8, 2013 Author Posted May 8, 2013 Not that we're surprised.... No response from him. Horrible anxiety in the morning regretting the text to him. I know he won't respond. Better emotional space since 24 hours ago. So it's all good.
TaraMaiden Posted May 8, 2013 Posted May 8, 2013 I refrain from commenting on either the OP or on zendon73's post, for reasons which I'm sure, are glaringly obvious. 1
Author aisuru Posted May 8, 2013 Author Posted May 8, 2013 Awww Tara, can I be redeemed, that even in my short time here, I might love you. Based on my short time here, I think we're generally on the same page. I had an alcohol induced moment. Well, and Twitter stalking based moment. Mix the two and it was lethal. *sigh* Weak, weak, weak. Even though I have contingency plans for "drunk texts" right now, nobody was available. Or responded quickly enough. I was all "to hell with it, this is how I feel...." Ahhh morning sunrise time, that confidence was lost. Damnit. Not so much. I KNOW.... I KNOW.... **sigh**
Author aisuru Posted May 8, 2013 Author Posted May 8, 2013 OH, AND JUST FYI.... For those with iPhones... Just because you delete somebody... if they were in your favorites, their number isn't deleted. That's what made it easy for me to text last night. I deleted his contact info several weeks ago and trust me, I don't know his number. I don't even know my mom's number. Strangely enough however, I could search his name and find his number, without his name and normal contact information. FAVORITES. Even though he was deleted. *sigh* friggin smart phones.
TaraMaiden Posted May 8, 2013 Posted May 8, 2013 @ metal_chick: Thank you. @aisur: Life lesson #4: never ever touch alcohol while your heart's still in pieces. Life lesson #5: The best solution is to change your number, and not transfer all info over... Life lesson #6: Redemption is always possible my child; Go and sin no more.
Skipper888 Posted May 8, 2013 Posted May 8, 2013 its harder when u do know there number. And never do a spotlight search of your iphone it shows up old text msges even though they have been deleted. Found one today when searching for a song ' babe you are seriously the best bf ever' obviously not good enough to stay with otherwise i wouldnt be on here (
Author aisuru Posted May 8, 2013 Author Posted May 8, 2013 @ metal_chick: Thank you. @aisur: Life lesson #4: never ever touch alcohol while your heart's still in pieces. Life lesson #5: The best solution is to change your number, and not transfer all info over... Life lesson #6: Redemption is always possible my child; Go and sin no more. Ha! It was twitter that threw me over the ledge. Lesson learned there. Alcohol isn't the major mixer here. Grrrr. I did change my number (new phone) but I guess I shouldn't have told him the new #... Whoopsies!! #6... All fail. *sigh* #13 I miss him. *sigh*
TaraMaiden Posted May 8, 2013 Posted May 8, 2013 I did change my number (new phone) but I guess I shouldn't have told him the new #... Whoopsies!! *Slaps head* ...Where's that brick wall....? I have a head to bash......
Author aisuru Posted May 9, 2013 Author Posted May 9, 2013 *Slaps head* ...Where's that brick wall....? I have a head to bash...... Yeah, I know... I happened to get a new phone right before we broke up and wanted to get a local number which I did the week after our breakup. I included him on my initial communication to friends and family about my new number since I honestly believed he just had a freak out while out of town on business. Long story. I was being nice and didn't believe he would actually maintain the breakup. Right now though, I'm kind of glad I sent the drunk text. I processed the anxiety yesterday which sucked royally, but then just got honest with myself. I feel much better. He's going to ignore me right now while he gets his emotions in check? Then I can also put my emotions in check and put them away. I feel better for it. I can live with that. 1
flight E Posted May 9, 2013 Posted May 9, 2013 break up and no contact troubles. y does tara maiden seem to be the expert here. is she an alien:D tara since you the expert, all the get your ex back books online do they work?
mtnbiker3000 Posted May 9, 2013 Posted May 9, 2013 break up and no contact troubles. y does tara maiden seem to be the expert here. is she an alien:D tara since you the expert, all the get your ex back books online do they work? Ha!!! I can answer this one and never even having read one. NO, they don't. They are simply unscrupulous people trying to capitalize on hurt, confused and vulnerable saps like us here on LS, who desperately want to end their pain and get back with their ex. Snake oil!!!! 1
Author aisuru Posted May 9, 2013 Author Posted May 9, 2013 No Contact isn't about getting your ex back. Though I can understand the methodology behind the concept. No Contact is about taking care of yourself. If you're only doing it to reconcile, you're gambling more than using it as a self healing tool. You only get a second chance if you both want it. Period. Contact or No Contact.
TaraMaiden Posted May 9, 2013 Posted May 9, 2013 Yeah, I know... I happened to get a new phone right before we broke up .... Ah....ok, I'll let you off.... I thought you changed your number AFTER the break - then let him know it. Fair enough! break up and no contact troubles. y does tara maiden seem to be the expert here. is she an alien:D tara since you the expert, all the get your ex back books online do they work? Why buy expensive books, or subscribe to 'miracle cures for only $XXX' when you can get all the help, support, counsel and advice you will ever need - first hand - from the people who have lived the nightmare and survived it, right here, completely FOC...? And tell me - if it broke, fragmented, shattered and disintegrated - why would you want that back? Reconciliation works under two conditions: One, usually, a fair amount of time must have passed, for the two people to have moved on, evolved, developed further maturity, understanding and flexibility. The previous hurt, damage and distress must have completely gone, abated and be just a memory. Then, people might come back together in a completely different frame of mind, with a transformed attitude and perspective. It's like a whole new and different liaison. Two, both people have to really want this, and be completely committed to making it work, and must be willing to do whatever it takes to make this work, the second time around.... There is absolutely no point in committing to 'getting your ex- back' if that particular ex is completely off the radar and has no intention whatsoever of ever looking back. 3
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