SinceYou'veBeenGone Posted May 7, 2013 Posted May 7, 2013 NC is over. It's been several months and we're "friends." He helps me out with some things so I see him. Afterwards it's purely physical. I enjoy it at the time, but after I leave I just feel empty. Although he says he wants to be friends again his actions speak differently. He never initiates communication at all. Never initiates getting together. The only reason I see him is because he was helping me with something. What kind of friendship is this? (fwb but we don't call it that) We never talk outside of me asking him a question. I'm lucky to get a response if I text him. Yet he is glued to his phone and texts friends all the time. I'm just trying to make sense of it all. I feel really hurt by him. He helps me out, yet it seems like he doesn't care about me as a person at all. He's going through a lot now and seems very preoccupied. I am very understanding about that but at the same time it's not an excuse for losing complete interest. Says he wants to be friends but it's just hurtful. I think it's his way of keeping me in his life. He told me he keeps "friendships" with his other ex's too. After hearing that I realized this all might mean nothing. He might have zero interest in me as a person but since I'm not a bad person, he doesn't feel the need to delete me completely. Not sure if this is more of a vent. I just feel horrible. I have a date coming up with someone else. I need to get out there more. It's just so hard.
lunar83 Posted May 7, 2013 Posted May 7, 2013 I would say if you feel like something is off, than it probably is. I've learned the hard way. You might think that you have to understand, but you don't have to. We all have our problems. You will only be hurt at the end for your understanding, I would go in to no contact right away, while you still have the power. Take care.
denxnis Posted May 7, 2013 Posted May 7, 2013 You're being used for sex, that's what's going on. Do you really need him around? Why haven't you ditched this guy? 1
lop98 Posted May 7, 2013 Posted May 7, 2013 Sorry to say this but this is my absolute worst post-BU nightmare. I'd rather be apart than become less and less over time and let it all fade like that. Get away from him. You can make new quality "friendships" than the opportunistic one he's offering you. Cut all contact with him..
Author SinceYou'veBeenGone Posted May 7, 2013 Author Posted May 7, 2013 Sorry to say this but this is my absolute worst post-BU nightmare. I'd rather be apart than become less and less over time and let it all fade like that. Get away from him. You can make new quality "friendships" than the opportunistic one he's offering you. Cut all contact with him.. But what if there is a possibility that we might get back together in the future? Things ended because of life circumstances. He's not in a good place right now, not because of the relationship.
Zahara Posted May 7, 2013 Posted May 7, 2013 (edited) He helps you so that he can get sex. He doesn't delete you from his life because you give him sex. He'll get back to you if he wants you. You don't have to wait around for him to consider you to be more than just a f*** buddy while you keep offering the goods for free. You're trying to entice him with sex. Most men can separate sex from emotions. You, unfortunately will always be left feeling empty. And you make excuses for him. He's preoccupied? Yet he is in contact with his friends all the time. I guess, he's just pre-occupied when it comes to you. Edited May 7, 2013 by Zahara 2
maturityassets Posted May 7, 2013 Posted May 7, 2013 (edited) But what if there is a possibility that we might get back together in the future? Things ended because of life circumstances. He's not in a good place right now' date=' not because of the relationship.[/quote'] You can't live for that. That hope will eat you alive. It ate me and my EX alive. She dumped me but she still had a sliver of hope that she could come back if she matured and I did too. We ended that hope when we ended NC and I went to go pick up my stuff a month after we ended our relationship. She tried to toy with me. We were civil at first but then things got messy. We tried to make the other jealous, talked about hooking up, she flowered me with compliments and how much she will never meet someone like me. But she had the audacity to mention that in our initial break between us that she talked to a guy from her past she cut out of her life during our relationship, only to go sleep with him and tell me. It was the last straw, I was never jealous during our relationship but what she tried to do to me was messed up. I called her best friend to see if it was true. My ex was furious but in the end we apologized for our actions and decided we couldn't talk for a while but at the same time there is no future for us. We needed that closure because the game that was being played should not be played between those who love each other. So you need to be out of contact again, your feelings aren't gone and it may take a year or two to be truly numb to that person Edited May 7, 2013 by maturityassets spelling
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