That_girl Posted September 24, 2004 Posted September 24, 2004 Ok, so this is going to be a long and confusing story, but I hope you stick around to read it because I'd REALLY appreciate some insight. I'm 19 and I've never had real dating experience...or sexual experience for that matter. A couple of years ago, I met this guy at school and we started seeing each other (which consisted of him calling me and me making no effort). I liked him back then, but we only consistently kept in touch for a few months...plus I was only 16, so I figured boys come and go. Little did I know how many times this boy would come and go. He called me every couple of months after that to see how I was doing. We'd even hang out on occasion and sometimes even make out. It never went furthur than that though. He started calling me again this summer. We had been "just friends" at first, and we hung out practically every single day for the past 5 months. After about 2 months and a half, we just started kissing because we couldn't take it any longer. He told me that he has really strong feelings for me, and that he would make a committment to me if I wanted that. It felt like we were together because we were inseparable. The problem is that I never wanted that...I've always been relationship-phobic for fear of getting hurt. I can't even open to this guy and tell him that I care about him because I'm so scared that he'd reject me or hurt me in some way. Well he has. Just two weeks ago, he was at my house...and he was text messaging some chick (who he claims was only his friend) right in front of me. I got upset of course, but I didn't say anything because I didn't want him to know that I was getting jealous...but after I while I had to spill it because he was getting angry that I was being so silent. So when I told him what was up, he got even more angry because he said she was just a friend, and that I do the same thing and worse to him all the time. That's true, I do have many male friends and I go out with them and talk to them on the phone...but I don't do anything with them, EVER, so in my mind it shouldn't even be a problem that I happen to have friends that are male. After he yelled for a bit, I got angry because he was yelling...so he left and said "call me when you're feeling better." He's never just given up on me like that before without even trying to fix things, so I kind of took it as a "**** you, I'm not taking your **** anymore." Anyway, we talked a couple of days after that, but not about that situation and so nothing has been resolved. He told me to call HIM, but I haven't yet because I figured eventually he'd call me. It's been a whole week now with no phone calls or word from him at all. I find it odd considering how much this guy liked me, and the amount of times he would call me during the summer. I can't believe he would just forget me like this. All kinds of thoughts are running through my mind, that maybe he's found someone else, or maybe he's sick of me not giving him sex or any kind of affection. I thought he would be flattered that I was jealous, and maybe it would be indicative of my feelings for him, since I wouldn't care if I didn't like him. I don't know, I can't help but feel guilty for just allowing this to happen and not calling him or something. It's just that he's always been the one chasing me, and I feel like maybe it's really over now if he's not making an effort. I've never been the type to go after anyone, but I really care about this guy...I've never cared about anyone like this. I feel like crying everyday, I don't want to lose him because he wasn't just some guy I was seeing. He's become a great friend to me this summer which is part of the reason I like him so much...and also I finally felt like I was worth something with this guy because he cared about me so much. I even feel like I could be in a relationship with him. Should I just let him go, or should I be trying to patch things up? I'm not even sure if this my fault...
Jilly10340 Posted September 24, 2004 Posted September 24, 2004 I would say to call him. If he's constantly chasing you then he may feel the same as you. That you don't like him, forgot him, he may have just given up. I've chased guys before and believe me, it gets exhausting. If you like him, you should give him a chance. He told you he wants a commitement to you but you keep him at a distance. Why? Not many guys would devote all their attention to me and stick around if i turned down a relationship with them. This guy sounds great. Also, since you are not in a relationship with him, he can kind of text message whoever he wants. Am I right? Not only that, it was only text messaging. I would say it was completely harmless. And even if it wasn't harmless, you guys are not bound to each other in anyway. And if you don't want him text messaging anyone else, start a relationship with him. You can't have your cake and eat it too. I know your afraid of getting hurt, but the best advice I've ever heard is this: Someone who goes through life without ever being hurt is either very lucky or very lonely. Don't be lonely when you have a great guy there waiting for you. Call the poor guy!
moimeme Posted September 24, 2004 Posted September 24, 2004 He told me to call HIM, but I haven't yet because I figured eventually he'd call me. It's been a whole week now with no phone calls or word from him at all He is waiting for a sign from you that you are willing to continue this relationship. He's done all the work. Eventually, people get tired of doing all the work and give up. Relationships should be reciprocal; in short, time to quit making him do all the work and do some yourself. So call him as he asked.
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