Mayfare Posted May 7, 2013 Posted May 7, 2013 So I've been doing relatively well with things for a couple months now. Hell, I didn't even want to get back together anymore. Thennnnn we had graduation weekend lol. He lives across the street from me, so seeing him and his parents enter and leave his apartment was inevitable. Seeing his parents made me so incredibly sad. His parents were better parents to me than my own. It was so strange for me to see them just across the street and not be able to run up and say hello and hug them. I had some of my own family in town though so I just left it alone. Then I got a text from him congratulating me on graduation/being able to speak at the ceremony (which I really didn't tell anyone about, so idk how he knew this). Then he texted again to say he thought his mom had a gift for me. We broke up 4 months ago so I was incredibly surprised. His mom ended up texting me as well and asked if she could stop by my apartment to give me my gift. After a few failed attempts to meet up (I was never home when she texted), his mom finally came over and met me. She was only over for about ten minutes, but ohmygosh it was too intense for me. She gave me an extremely nice jewelry box because when she graduated from college her mother gave her one. When I walked her out, she kept hugging me and telling me how much she loved me. As soon as I got back into my apartment, alone, I just broke down crying because of how messed up everything has become. To make it worse, I ran into him on the sidewalk this morning near our places. I wanted to just wave and keep walking, but he stopped me to say congrats on graduation again and just kept hugging me and talking. Some of the stuff he said made it really obvious that he's been checking my facebook regularly and talking to his mom about me. This all took me by surprise, because for a month he's been crazy distant and firm about not wanting to date again right now. I love his parents to death, but I cannot go through this again. I'm worried because my birthday is coming up, and I do not want either of them to get me a gift again. It was just way too difficult to go through that. I'm not sure the best way to relay this message though? Should I not say anything at all? Ugh any advice at all would be so appreciated.
Meaning Posted May 7, 2013 Posted May 7, 2013 His parents obviously care about you, and want you to feel cherished on your graduation day. The fact that you got to speak at graduation probably made them proud, and they wanted to make sure you felt the love they think they deserve. He probably still cares about you and that is gorgeous. I still love the **** out of all my ex boyfriends because they were beautiful, insightful, caring men. I see my ex boyfriend's mom all the time around town and we laugh and connect. It's because our connection is our connection and really doesn't have to have anything to do with her son. I even still talk to all my ex boyfriends and text them regularly that I will care for them until they day I die. They say the same. What you shared doesn't have to be diminished. You can let go of your relationship, realize how stupid and dumb he was, and still respect the beauty you shared. Use the **** out of that Jewlrey box, and if they give you another gift, receive the **** out of it.
TearyEyedPride Posted May 7, 2013 Posted May 7, 2013 Sorry that you're hurting still. I feel for you. Hugs. Honestly, if it's too much, maybe you should try telling them how you feel. Just let them know that you're thankful and appreciate everything but you'd rather they not get you anything,or something similar along those lines. That's a tough situation to be in but I hope you find a way to go through it more easily and peacefully. -Teary
Author Mayfare Posted May 8, 2013 Author Posted May 8, 2013 Thanks for the replies! As much as it hurts me to imagine my life without any of them in it, I just don't see how I can keep in touch with him or his family and actually move on. I thought that after 4-6 months I would be over this, but sometimes I find myself holding out hope that he'll come around. Seeing him is confusing, as is talking to his mom. Whenever we run into each other (which is often, because we live so close), it's incredibly obvious he still has feelings. He gets really touchy and wants to keep the conversation going. This was not the case the first 2-2.5 months after we broke up, but has been the case for over a month. At one point he wanted to get back together, I was skeptical, and then he admitted he just didn't want to go through breakup blues and didn't want to get back together. He insists he doesn't want a relationship. That would be fine with me if he was better at concealing his feelings. It's obvious we both still care about each other, and knowing this makes it near impossible to fully move on and give up that hope. When we broke up, he said his mom's first response was that she was still getting me a birthday present and so would he. I didn't say much to that because I honestly thought by now we would be back together. Since we obviously aren't, I really just want them all out of my life so I can move on. I love him to death, but if we aren't going to be together, I need them completely out of my life. With my birthday quickly approaching, I just don't know how to tell him this! Is it appropriate to meet up with him and explain that I just don't want to be friends...with him or his parents? I don't want to break his mom's heart, but the setback I had this passed weekend was not something I'm willing to go through again. I haven't had that "hope" for months now...and all of a sudden it's on my mind again. I guess I'm just asking what the best way to do this is to spare his mom any heartbreak..?
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