HonestNeurotic Posted May 7, 2013 Posted May 7, 2013 If you want a relationship of exclusivity with this man, well, MM's are just not the way to go. You're setting yourself up for failure. You might be ecstatically happy for a short while, maybe even a few years. But even if you "win" him as your own, it'll be messy and lots of turmoil for everyone involved.
lilmisscantbewrong Posted May 7, 2013 Posted May 7, 2013 Yeah, this is a great roller coaster. Instead of your sunglasses and pocket change falling out, your three kids, friends, family, career, self-respect and sanity will be thrown out of the cart. Also, whereas real roller coasters slow down to a smooth and gentle stop, this roller coaster comes to a sudden halt as it crashes into a brick wall. LilMiss -- not sure if not being married is an advantage. I see your point, but she is the single mom of three kids. Not sure what age. So the kids have been through a divorce already, and their mom (if she continues this) will become a victim of affair fog & pain and will withdraw from her kids. That will be very damaging to them. Yes, you are correct about the kids being victims as well. I guess I just meant the spouse part of it. Either way, it isn't going to end well.
ComingInHot Posted May 7, 2013 Posted May 7, 2013 Sarabi wrote, "In my opinion. Being someone who studied science...you should gather information from various different sources as possible and do thorough research before embarking on such a thing... Nobody can stop you, you're an adult but...I suggest you talk IN GREAT DETAIL...to: PaperAngel ComingInHot frozensprouts Bringontherain Bentnotbroken Athens BetrayedH Decorative AtheistScholar EleanorRigby waterwoman jnel9(I can't remember the rest of your numbers sorry ) seethingandsmiling the above few are a select sample off the top of my head whose opinions are often overlooked and swept aside when deciding whether to get involved or not...but maybe if you have a chance to listen to their situations and are aware beforehand how painful it is and how much work these ladies and gents have to do just to get a sense of normality in their lives again after their loved ones do such a thing to them...you might reconsider? ...and there are a multitude of others who will share their opinions with you on what the whole sorry mess entails" Sarabi, This post was absolutely amazing! I just wanted to add one little thing... YOUR STORY and all of your posts. You have been there from a - z and I think you are an incredibly amazing person! So Ophelia... Besides the $$$ reasons and assets reasons and maybe you're thinking "poor little wifey" reasons, what about your shattered heart reasons to Not get involved and your childrens' broken spirits reasons to Not get involved?! Have you read Sarabi's Story? How about Broken Princess? there are many many others CIH* 2
MissBee Posted May 8, 2013 Posted May 8, 2013 you say you don't know him that well yet, but he is already hinting at a future with you? Doesn't that strike you as a bit odd? It's easy to make hints and promises that he knows have no real chance of ever happening... Ditto. It's always a red flag when someone fast forwards a relationship. In the case of MM it's easy to see why many get carried away future faking and fast forwarding the relationship, as there are no speed limits in fantasy land, since many do not really ever believe they will have to one day actually make their promises a reality. 1
Summer Breeze Posted May 8, 2013 Posted May 8, 2013 I guess I'm already somewhat involved. We've started seeing each other about twice a week. We have not had sex yet, but I don't know how much longer we'll hold out. I'm contemplating it. He's a successful small business owner, father of two, and I am a single divorced mother of three children under ten. I've been divorced for three years. I've dated seriously and just for fun. I've never really met anyone whom I really liked/loved. Something is totally different with this man. He's everything I want, but married. It's crushing. He's implied things in regards to a future between us, although it is still very early. I feel that I know it is likely trouble, but I keep going to him anyway. I've never dated a MM, and I actually left my husband for cheating. Could anyone who's been through this share their opinions? You aren't involved yet and you're using these words already. Imagine what it'll be like when you are in love with him and he's given you years of hints and plans about the future you could have together. Imagine 7 months down the road when he's having Christmas with his family and you're distracted from yours because you can't stop missing him and wondering what's going on. If you are headed into it full steam ahead now, keep as much of your power as you can. Don't let him drag you into the dark. Keep reassessing it and when you have a day you're more unhappy then happy you need to start thinking about how to change it or how to end it. I don't regret my A at all but I was the OW from hell. After 2 years I wasn't happy and I walked away. Keep your power and don't let him be so important to you that you 'couldn't' walk away. There are so many reasons, as listed by all on the thread, to not go forward with the A. I hope you listen to them all and don't. Good luck to you. 1
Summer Breeze Posted May 8, 2013 Posted May 8, 2013 Sarabi wrote, "In my opinion. Being someone who studied science...you should gather information from various different sources as possible and do thorough research before embarking on such a thing... Nobody can stop you, you're an adult but...I suggest you talk IN GREAT DETAIL...to: PaperAngel ComingInHot frozensprouts Bringontherain Bentnotbroken Athens BetrayedH Decorative AtheistScholar EleanorRigby waterwoman jnel9(I can't remember the rest of your numbers sorry ) seethingandsmiling the above few are a select sample off the top of my head whose opinions are often overlooked and swept aside when deciding whether to get involved or not...but maybe if you have a chance to listen to their situations and are aware beforehand how painful it is and how much work these ladies and gents have to do just to get a sense of normality in their lives again after their loved ones do such a thing to them...you might reconsider? ...and there are a multitude of others who will share their opinions with you on what the whole sorry mess entails" Sarabi, This post was absolutely amazing! I just wanted to add one little thing... YOUR STORY and all of your posts. You have been there from a - z and I think you are an incredibly amazing person! So Ophelia... Besides the $$$ reasons and assets reasons and maybe you're thinking "poor little wifey" reasons, what about your shattered heart reasons to Not get involved and your childrens' broken spirits reasons to Not get involved?! Have you read Sarabi's Story? How about Broken Princess? there are many many others CIH* I'd even put my story in here CIH. I am with dMM now but I had years without him and though we're in a good place now the last few months have been unbelievably tough and hard work. We had a talk the other day that even after everything that's happened neither of us is still absolutely sure we'll make it through it all. Even if things happen the way he's talking to you about it's not a bed of roses. I couldn't imagine doing this with my D still a little one. I don't know if I could have had the focus to go through it all and still be a good mom to her when she needed it most.
USMCHokie Posted May 8, 2013 Posted May 8, 2013 It's no different than cheating on your own significant other...same utter lack of integrity. So if you don't bat an eyelash at the prospect of cheating, then who's to stop you....?
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