Lay Posted May 7, 2013 Posted May 7, 2013 Just recently i was dumped. We had been going out for 6 months and so after the break up i decided to go NC. I haven't spoken to him since the break up which was 12 days ago. I went to a pool party yesterday and he happened to be there, both of us ignored each other. He didn't say hi, so why should i? Anyways, i never begged or pleaded for him to stay, i just let him go. He had asked me to prom and i had bought my dress and EVERYTHING.. we got into a fight, and two days of NC later he broke up with me. I asked if he still wanted tgt the prom (even if we went just as friends) because i was really looking forward to going and i had already bought my dress! he said, "no it would bring the feelings back up" << whatever that means? So i said forget him, and i asked my good guy friend if he wanted to go to prom with me (1 day before the dance!) he said 'of course' and so we went. i had an awesome time and i am really proud of myself for going! getting dumped 2 days before the dance and going with another guy to prom! i really burned him, i doubt he expected that:) anyways, i found a lump in my breast a couple months ago and in a week i have to have a biopsy done. (im 17 it's not likely that it is cancerous) my ex knew about it and so i'm sure he will be contacting me in a week when i have it done. he left me during the worst time possible, and i feel really hurt. i can't believe it's over, just because of a fight. it is really stupid to me. i am such a sweet person and his family loved me.. i am real catch. and though i am doing NC to get over him, i am really hoping he will realize what he lost. i was so sweet and supportive of him, i really cared and loved him. Idk what my point is.. i guess i'm just venting. Any imput would be nice.
316 Posted May 7, 2013 Posted May 7, 2013 You sound like a very sweet and confident young woman... Good for you for going to prom and enjoying yourself! This probably isn't what you want to hear right now but honestly you'll be WAYYY better off without your ex in the long run. You're very young... Your dating life is just beginning! Enjoy high school while you still can and once you get to college age you'll find someone 10x better for you than that jerk I guarantee it. In the meantime just maintain NC and keep enjoying life like you have been. He'll figure out what he has lost soon (if he hasn't already).
Author Lay Posted May 7, 2013 Author Posted May 7, 2013 (edited) aww thanks so much! he said he wanted to be friends, but he can't have the cake and eat it too. if he contacts me about the biopsy, should i ignore him? i think i will but i go to temple with him and if i see him there without responding to his text i feel like it will be awkward?? i have a feeling he will realize his mistake.. whether it is in a few months or a year. i will decide what to do then. his parents and my parents are really good friends and we all get along.. they are going to a bruno mars concert this summer actually. and my ex is graduating this year (he's a senior im a junior). when we were together him and his family wanted me to be at his graduation.. so idk if that still applies. i just feel like a lost a friend. and though i am upset at him for all he has put me through!!.. i miss him. i wonder if he misses me. i am not used to not sharing funny things will him or anything that has come up and i know he feels the same. everyone said (when we were going out) that i was out of his league and i don't mean to boast but i am an attractive girl. i was the prettiest girl he had dated. i can't believe he could just let everything float away and give up ! it's really frustrating ! also, i have a lot of respect for myself, (i have been taught good morals by my father and cousin) therefore i never "sexually satisfied" him in that 6 months. i figure, because he is an 18 yr old BOY he is going to be looking for someone who will fulfill his needs. (he never pressured me to do anything tho) i think the fights plus not having sex led him to his decision? (tho he never mentioned it) Also, he still has pictures of us up on his profile pictures. why hasn't he taken them down. Edited May 7, 2013 by Lay
crederer Posted May 7, 2013 Posted May 7, 2013 You seem mature for your age. If he contacts you about the biopsy I would personally answer it. But if you feel this will be a set back for you, then don't. Keep any conversations completely platonic, right to the point and don't show any indication you want him back, would be my advice.
crederer Posted May 7, 2013 Posted May 7, 2013 Also, don't read into the picture thing too much. I never get rid of my ex's pictures. They were big chapters in my life, and yes they are over, but that doesn't mean I need to erase those memories.
Author Lay Posted May 7, 2013 Author Posted May 7, 2013 good advice. keeping the convo completely platonic will do what exactly? what is the outcome?
Author Lay Posted May 31, 2013 Author Posted May 31, 2013 Overview: my phone has been deactivated for a long time now, maybe a month? it has benefited me in this no contact stage because i couldn't reach out, nor would i be aware if my ex boyfriend tried to contact me. it has been 5 weeks and 2 days since my breakup, yesterday i broke contact. (i will get to that in just a moment) all this time i have been in the mindset of getting over this relationship and him. i went through the thoughts of "he hasn't contacted me at all, (via, txt, tele, fb, email,..etc) therefore he doesn't want to have anything to do with me, so i NEED to get over him". I have been writing down -in my notes- the feelings that i have each week (during the BU) for myself to see if i would be able to see any improvement moving forward. yesterday i had a break through. i wrote, "5 weeks 1 day: I feel a lot better. I don't have the obsession of trying to get him back and I feel I have come to terms with myself. I feel like I am happy again and at peace". Now getting back to what happened yesterday.. That was before i heard about my ex trying to get in contact with me. May 13th i had a biopsy to see if the lump in my breast was cancerous. My ex was aware of this but we had broken up April 24th and he hadn't contacted me at all for over 2 weeks so i figured he wouldn't bother contacting me ever. My mom and his mom went out for dinner a couple days ago (i was unaware of this but my ex wasn't). his mother told my mom that my ex wanted to know if i was alright after the surgery. she told my mom he tried to call me but it didn't go through. keep in my i was totally out of sight.. we don't go to the same school and i wasn't going to temple. she also said that this was hard for him, seeing me go to prom with someone else, and the next week to a pool party with a good looking guy friend, "and he felt like she didn't know how much he truly cared". it is true that he really cared for me. i realize now that i was out of line and i overreacted when what i should have done was look at all the good in him. he did so many good things for me and was always there for me. last week i wrote a heartfelt apology letter for him, i haven't given it to him yet. after hearing all of this i called him up at around 10 last night. i told him i heard about his call and that it was really sweet of him to pray for me etc. i told him that i had something for him that i've had for a while now, and asked him when i could give it to him. my family is having a graduation party for my brother this sunday and he and his family are invited. i knew his fam would come but i knew he wouldn't come. he told me he will see me at the party and i told him that i wanted him to go. i got excited on the phone and we were both giggly haha i cut it short and said i'll see you.
Author Lay Posted June 2, 2013 Author Posted June 2, 2013 the party is at 4 today, and i found out my ex got into a relationship (via fb today) (not even six weeks later) i'm pretty sure he met this girl last weekend at a convention.. anyways idk what to do! i was planning to act nice and sweet (i still will) and give him the letter when he comes for the party. i will admit i am frazzled by it. it's weird tho.. he never posted we were in a relationship until 5 and a half months. and this new girl just posted on fb that they are. SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME IDK WHAT TO DO!
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