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so... are you inlove :) ?

candie13

By candie13
in General Relationship Discussion

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Els Established Member

Els

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I confess that I actually like Taylor Swift. :o Well, her older songs, before she started singing about each one of her 34278289702 exes in turn...

ltjg45 Established Member

ltjg45

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I'm keeping low expectations from here on out. I'm not even sure if there is a future in store for me since my living situation keeps getting worse by the month and I have to put more effort just to keep a roof over my head. Since everything else is failing miserably, it's hard to even say I will have a future let alone a future worth living.

 

Just have to take it one day at a time and see what happens. I can't ask for any more than that.

 

So, as for the OP's initial question, it is currently invalid since I never was in love. If I were in actual love, it wasn't mutual and I put in more effort into the relationship than I should have.

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ImperfectionisBeauty Established Member

ImperfectionisBeauty

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I'm keeping low expectations from here on out. I'm not even sure if there is a future in store for me since my living situation keeps getting worse by the month and I have to put more effort just to keep a roof over my head. Since everything else is failing miserably, it's hard to even say I will have a future let alone a future worth living.

 

Just have to take it one day at a time and see what happens. I can't ask for any more than that.

 

So, as for the OP's initial question, it is currently invalid since I never was in love. If I were in actual love, it wasn't mutual and I put in more effort into the relationship than I should have.

 

Now I like you!!

Drseussgrrl Established Member

Drseussgrrl

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I think I'm falling in love.

 

It all starts with not being able to sleep because he's on my mind. And I think he's feeling the same, since I got a text from him at 5:45 am yesterday, saying, "This hangover would be worth it if you were here with me." LOL

 

*We haven't been physical beyond kissing and I'm wildly attracted to him, and the anticipation is bliss.:love:

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candie13 Established Member

candie13

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I think I'm falling in love.

 

It all starts with not being able to sleep because he's on my mind. And I think he's feeling the same, since I got a text from him at 5:45 am yesterday, saying, "This hangover would be worth it if you were here with me." LOL

 

*We haven't been physical beyond kissing and I'm wildly attracted to him, and the anticipation is bliss.:love:

 

If I may... it's not love, it's the hormones. We've waited three weeks to kiss, another week to explore kissing, and other two weeks to transition to becoming intimate. Very slow... very sexy... it was literarily driving me up a wall, I felt turned on by door knobs, towards the end of the first month!

 

it was nice, though...

Drseussgrrl Established Member

Drseussgrrl

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If I may... it's not love, it's the hormones. We've waited three weeks to kiss, another week to explore kissing, and other two weeks to transition to becoming intimate. Very slow... very sexy... it was literarily driving me up a wall, I felt turned on by door knobs, towards the end of the first month!

 

it was nice, though...

 

True, but "falling in love" really is just a release of oxytocin that pretty much makes you obsess over the object of your affection. :p

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seren Established Member

seren

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27 years with my H and yes, am truly, madly, deeply in love ... still.

it has changed over the years, from the giddy, can't stop thinking about him, feeling sick, unable to think straight, lust filled days of early love. I don't know when that settled more into a gentler love, but there were still the fireworks, just more gentle, a soft sparkly firework rather than a woosh bang rocket.

 

In the early days an argument would have had me thinking we were over, had nothing to say, full of angst and longing, a few years later, might have not spoken and lots of flounces and suchlike. Now, life is too dammed short for long drawn out silences, so one of us apologises by making a cup of tea. For many, many years I made sure to look my best for H, now, it is hard to look my best always especially living on a smallholding. I have finally got it that H loves me for me, not looks, sexy meter or anything other than he loves me, just because, warts and all (not real warts).

 

I still get flip flops, we still have smoochy dances alone, with no music. Still have rockets and fireworks, but generally it is just a feeling that this is where we each belong, we love being together, he is my best friend and I his. friends with benefits has never been more apt. When it comes down to it, love means different things for each of us, for us, it is like coming home. He is soon off for 2 weeks on a course, I shall miss him as much on day one as I will on day 13. I think love shows how strong it is when it has been tested, we have been tested lots over the years and right now, I give our love an A+++

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Eternal Sunshine Established Member

Eternal Sunshine

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Nope, not in love. The truth is, as much as I complain about men - my life is not set up for a relationship right now. I have no time to properly devote to someone and I can only really do casual.

 

Once my other goals are met, which should happen in the next 6 months - I will be more open to it.

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candie13 Established Member

candie13

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True, but "falling in love" really is just a release of oxytocin that pretty much makes you obsess over the object of your affection. :p

 

Lol, ok, that explains last year, when me and shoes had this deep, strong, powerful connection! I thought it was lust... turn out it was luuuuv!! My banker approved of it, my bank statements a little bit less, haha :p !

Woggle Established Member

Woggle

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Very much in love. I thank my lucky stars every day that I found a woman like my wife. It will be seven years married on June 25th and it only gets better.

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inglorious Member

inglorious

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I am very much in love. No doubt.

 

Being in Love is the most personal, individual thing that I think one can experience but in order to make any useful comment about it for others to read, I would say this..

 

I'm 45 now and through the years I have gone through many experiences that I have believed to be 'in love'. And as real and convinced as I have been at each time, where no-one could convince me differently, it has been a growing and changing experience.

 

Everyone will be at their own stage of such a journey and I wont presume to draw parallels but for me, being in love, or the capacity to submit to, or acknowledge such a feeling.. has more to do with my own personal journey and receptivity than anyone else.

 

My experience is that being in love is more about knowing yourself than finding the right 'other'. I've had many relationships with some wonderful people over the years but what makes where I am now so special is that I have found someone at a time in my life where where for some reason, it just feels right for me to throw my whole self in emotionally.

 

That's not because I have found 'ms right' as there is no sure thing, but because whatever happens, whatever the future outcome, I will never regret what I do because I am expressing my authentic self for better or worse.

 

If you look at some of my threads you will see that this is not based on confidence. It can be scary, but you need some degree of blind courage / faith. If I get a broken heart.. so be it. It wont be the first and I doubt it will be the last, but this is my truth and why I am in Love.

 

Cheers!

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gaius Established Member

gaius

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No I'm not in love. However I adore her very much. She's in my head for a good portion of the day everyday, love spending time together and I'm wildly attracted to her. :love: Get a boner just from hearing her voice on the phone. It's even worse when we're together in person. When I can actually see and smell her. Not sure I will ever get that super attached love feeling for another person in my life though.

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candie13 Established Member

candie13

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Gaius, I don't know how else you'd call what you're feeling, if not "love" :).

 

Can I ask those of you who've recently been through that phase where you've declared your feelings... how did it happen? Like ... did you take a deep breath, look into your partner's eye and say ILY? Or you were just casual, saying that before you go to sleep? Did your partner respond back immediately or after a while... ? Or how did it happen?

LittleTiger Established Member

LittleTiger

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It's three years since we first said 'I love you', but I remember it as though it was yesterday. We were sitting on the couch cuddled up together so we were face to face. We had been laughing about something and were looking straight into each other's eyes. He said 'I love you' and I gave him a big grin and said 'I love you too'. Perfect! :love::love:

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candie13 Established Member

candie13

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It's three years since we first said 'I love you', but I remember it as though it was yesterday. We were sitting on the couch cuddled up together so we were face to face. We had been laughing about something and were looking straight into each other's eyes. He said 'I love you' and I gave him a big grin and said 'I love you too'. Perfect! :love::love:

 

pffff! I hate you :p !!!

 

I was having this huge fight no 4 with my bf over text when I was shouting we should break up and he said he was falling inlove with me - or smth similar. I was very romantic, I said "bullsh*t" to his face! instead of backing off, he continued to tell me I became special to him and talking me - I've appreciated him fighting for me and not letting me go away.

 

My first face-to-face attempt was one morning, shortly after our fight. We were cuddling, still half asleep when I sort of whispered "luv u" to his ear (to my benefit, I'd hardly been closing an eye all night, thinking about if I should say anything or shut up). Immediately after, he started to talk about smth, don't remember quite what... anyway, irrelevant to the topic... dunno if he heard it or just preferred to not handle it, that early, in the morning.

 

his first face-to-face attempt was when I came round to his place, one evening and he gave me this short tshirt that was barely covering my arse - my legs and butt cheeks are always frozen. He thought I was very cute in his sailor tshirt and was busy warming up my legs, saying smth like: "luv ur legs, luv ur arse, I luv u :confused:". I was a bit shocked so I automatically said "me too"! like ... me too!!! how lame is that ?!? as usual, he kept talking and became mildly sexual... u know... what I'd call changing the subject!

 

honestly, soooo lame :( !!!! It's like we're both terrible at that... I'm thinking... one weekend away, some champagne, lots of cuddling... he stands nooooo chance, I think he's a true romantic, deep down inside! Very deep... deep deep down, hahahaha!!!

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KungFuJoe Established Member

KungFuJoe

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Over 13 years and still very much in love. In fact, it's almost scary how much we need each other. We are together 24/7 (both work from home) and even when one of us leaves the house for whatever reason, we end up missing each other. She is, quite simply, the most amazing woman I've ever met in my entire life, and it isn't even close.

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ImperfectionisBeauty Established Member

ImperfectionisBeauty

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Over 13 years and still very much in love. In fact, it's almost scary how much we need each other. We are together 24/7 (both work from home) and even when one of us leaves the house for whatever reason, we end up missing each other. She is, quite simply, the most amazing woman I've ever met in my entire life, and it isn't even close.

 

That seems kind of codependent more than anything... I mean it's cute I guess but kind of like weird too.

KungFuJoe Established Member

KungFuJoe

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That seems kind of codependent more than anything... I mean it's cute I guess but kind of like weird too.

 

I wouldn't expect you to understand, having never been in love...but even though it sounds like codependency, and probably shares a lot of the same aspects, it's not the same in that we are not NEEDY people. We don't need anyone else...have never needed anyone else in the past (either in or out of a relationship)...are both very independent people in every facet of our lives, etc, etc...but we NEED each other...and greatly so. We can't live without each other and we both know it.

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ImperfectionisBeauty Established Member

ImperfectionisBeauty

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I wouldn't expect you to understand, having never been in love...but even though it sounds like codependency, and probably shares a lot of the same aspects, it's not the same in that we are not NEEDY people. We don't need anyone else...have never needed anyone else in the past (either in or out of a relationship)...are both very independent people in every facet of our lives, etc, etc...but we NEED each other...and greatly so. We can't live without each other and we both know it.

 

I have been in love actually and I guess I can understand but I don't still but whatever..

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candie13 Established Member

candie13

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Over 13 years and still very much in love. In fact, it's almost scary how much we need each other. We are together 24/7 (both work from home) and even when one of us leaves the house for whatever reason, we end up missing each other. She is, quite simply, the most amazing woman I've ever met in my entire life, and it isn't even close.

 

do you remember when you've first told her you loved her?

LittleTiger Established Member

LittleTiger

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I have been in love actually and I guess I can understand but I don't still but whatever..

 

'In love' with someone you've only known a few months is a little different from 'in love' with someone you have known, and shared a life with, for several years!

ImperfectionisBeauty Established Member

ImperfectionisBeauty

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'In love' with someone you've only known a few months is a little different from 'in love' with someone you have known, and shared a life with, for several years!

 

Last time I checked you have to start somewhere right?

I think there are people in this world who met and married after a few months and share a life for several years... is their love less special or less credible?? Just wondering.

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KungFuJoe Established Member

KungFuJoe

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do you remember when you've first told her you loved her?

 

Yes, I do. :) We were just talking about this the other day. She was the only girl that I ever said "I love you" to first. It was probably a week or two after we made it "official" (we dated for about a month or so) and we were sitting on the couch at my condo just talking. And it just hit me during a casual conversation. Hit me like a brick..."I really love this girl". And, so I just said it. I remember the look on her face...initial surprise...but then happiness. And she said, "I love you" back. And she meant it. :)

 

Over 13 years ago and I still remember it. And so does she.

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candie13 Established Member

candie13

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Last time I checked you have to start somewhere right?

I think there are people in this world who met and married after a few months and share a life for several years... is their love less special or less credible?? Just wondering.

 

my parents got married after 3 months of dating eachother. big wedding too!

 

of course, they cannot possibly understand what the deal is with all the "waiting" - my bf and I have started dating in Jan. My mom calls my bf "old" because he's 38 and she says "he is taking things too slowly" :o. I'll say, after getting married after 3 months, anything else except for the speed of light seems slow, haha!

 

Joke apart, there's no time frame to judge what love is real and what love isn't. The only thing is, real love passes the test of time, irrelevant how sudden and unexpected it started.

 

That's why the love that resisted for years and is still very strong seems more authentic, more dependable compared to the very intense love of people who barely met, who barely started dating. One doesn't make the other less valid... but one passed the test of time! the other love is still young, still needs to have something to show for...

King_Crimson Established Member

King_Crimson

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I'm definitely in love my girl. I'd do anything for her and want her to be the best and happiest person she can and deserves to be.

 

I am grateful that someone so beautiful and caring came into my life... even if she does drive me insane sometimes... :mad:

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