marina123 Posted May 6, 2013 Posted May 6, 2013 Hello everyone, I just joined this forum and this is my first post. I just really feel the urgency to share something that has been eating me up and that I can't figure out... Last year, I met this great guy. We were friends for a few months, then started hanging out more, and I started feeling that he felt something more towards me. I liked him and was curious. He confessed his feelings, so we started dating. He is cute, smart, caring, considerate, responsible...Honestly, he is a great guy and wonderful human being. He also said that he loves me, and I know he does. I can feel it. So what's the problem? We are six months into the relationship, and I have no clue whether I love him. One of the challenges is that he is my first boyfriend, so I have nothing to compare it to. I have no clue what love is supposed to feel like. I mean is it the sparks and electricity you read in books and watch in movies or is it more calm and warming? Another challenge is that we are in a long-distance relationship (we have been together for 2 months out of 6). He is just so loving and wonderful, and I think he deserves to be with a person who loves him as much...I am just not sure I am this person. I am wondering whether I am not putting too much pressure on myself to figure this out? Perhaps it is still too early in the relationship? But this is really nagging at me. I have a feeling I am being unfair and even selfish by not being able to love him the way he loves me. I don't get what's wrong with me? He is great! Any girl would be lucky to have him. Then why am I not feeling like I want to be with him all the time? Why am I wondering if there is something bigger out there? While at the same time thinking that if I let him go it might be a huge mistake since good guys are so hard to come by? I am just so confused... Thank you for reading this.
Author marina123 Posted May 6, 2013 Author Posted May 6, 2013 I am in my mid-twenties...a bit of a late bloomer in that department I do like him A LOT, just not sure if I love him since I have no clue what it feels like. Hence, my feelings of being unfair towards him because I feel like I am not reciprocating his feelings
candie13 Posted May 6, 2013 Posted May 6, 2013 you're putting too much pressure on yourself. Two months is NOTHING. You need more time. Stop thinking, stop analyzing and have a good time. It'll come to you - if you are or if you're not inlove. 2
xpaperxcutx Posted May 6, 2013 Posted May 6, 2013 Don't ever say you love someone until you are absolutely sure. 2 months out of 6 months of knowing him means your relationship is relatively new. What you are perhaps experiencing is the honeymoon stage of liking someone, but it actually 6 months to a year of being in a committed relationship to know whether you love someone or not.
sillyanswer Posted May 6, 2013 Posted May 6, 2013 We are six months into the relationship, and I have no clue whether I love him. Then you don't. If you did you'd be certain of it.
Author marina123 Posted May 7, 2013 Author Posted May 7, 2013 I think I will give myself more time since we have really been together together for only 2 months, since I like him so much and he is a great guy.
Roadkill007 Posted May 7, 2013 Posted May 7, 2013 You'd know it if you loved him. All those cliche song lines will suddenly make sense and such
Aerrie Posted May 7, 2013 Posted May 7, 2013 You dont. If you have to ask yourself, the answer is no. You friend-zoned him before the relationship, so no wonder.
crederer Posted May 7, 2013 Posted May 7, 2013 It sounds like you like him. I didn't realize I loved my first love until about 6 months of serious dating. And I mean we practically lived together for 6 months, always at each others side at this point. She told me she loved me long before that, and I didn't say it back for a while. She got a little self concious about it and I explained that I'm not going to just throw that word around. Love also isn't at all how it is depicted in the movies and such. It's hollywood, just like the real police aren't doing die hard type of stuff all the time.
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