wifey69 Posted May 6, 2013 Posted May 6, 2013 Me and my husband have been together for 3 years but we've been married one year and before we got married we would have threesomes and sex with other couples with progressed into our marriage and I had let him know when we first started that I wasn't going to keep doing it after we got married so he was ok with that. After we got married he kept begging me to have sex with other men preferably with big cocks and also white men. Now being a black woman I have no problems with white men period but I expressed to him many times I didn't want to I wasn't interested but after awhile I gave in and had sex with a white man. He recorded it and said he was satisfied and it wouldnt come up again. But somehow it got erased off his sd card and he wanted me to do it again I said no told him I was begining my life as a good god fearing christian wife. I told him if he kept pressuring me I would leave which it eventually came to that and he fr begged me to stayfrom that point there were no more problems.....until recently for the past 6 months he talks dirty about me taking a bbc whenever we have sex and I've caught him chatting with men on craigslist trying to have sex with him. He says he never goes through with it he just talks to them which I have proved to be true but still what should I do I'm tired of hearing him fantisizing about me and other men our sex life is terrible!
Anthony2005 Posted May 6, 2013 Posted May 6, 2013 Dear Wifey, First I must say that as a wife you are doing great. Although you were not comfortable with your husband's fantasy you took part in attempt's to please him. At this point, this is not something that can be solved separately. I suggest that you talk to him about going to couples counseling together. There are some things going on with him underneath and he needs to confront. Speaking with other men on craigslist about sex… Wifey, come on now… do I really have to tell you that you deserve much better than that? Let me say it: Wifey you deserve much better! This isn't an issue that can be swept under the rug. The cycle seems to be as time goes by his needs for these things build up until if forces you to give him an ultimatum. Not wanting to loose you he agree's and everything is reset and continues to build again. With the sex suffering all the while, which will cause him to retreat deeper into his fantasies. Change is not something that can be forced on someone they must want it as well. I wish for the best for you wifey. 2
thefooloftheyear Posted May 6, 2013 Posted May 6, 2013 Sounds like he's gay....Id almost be willing to bet on it... As a guy, NO real man wants to see his beloved wife banged by another man...It just goes against everything that a man is all about....Men dont "share" their women unless there is something wrong. I know there are swingers and wife swappers, frankly I dont know how they do it. Its just effed up... TFY 4
Author wifey69 Posted May 7, 2013 Author Posted May 7, 2013 Thanks guys it helps to know I'm not stupid or being a uptight person but as far as him talking about it during sex what am I supposed to do I have a high sex drive but what's the point if I can't enjoy it? It makes no sense to me especially if I tell u no I want to be yours and only yours forever for u to say no I want u to bang multiple men.
Anthony2005 Posted May 7, 2013 Posted May 7, 2013 but as far as him talking about it during sex what am I supposed to do I have a high sex drive but what's the point if I can't enjoy it? You're basically saying his sex talk is turn off. Have you expressed that to him?
Nyla Posted May 7, 2013 Posted May 7, 2013 Me and my husband have been together for 3 years but we've been married one year and before we got married we would have threesomes and sex with other couples with progressed into our marriage and I had let him know when we first started that I wasn't going to keep doing it after we got married so he was ok with that. After we got married he kept begging me to have sex with other men preferably with big cocks and also white men. Now being a black woman I have no problems with white men period but I expressed to him many times I didn't want to I wasn't interested but after awhile I gave in and had sex with a white man. He recorded it and said he was satisfied and it wouldnt come up again. But somehow it got erased off his sd card and he wanted me to do it again I said no told him I was begining my life as a good god fearing christian wife. I told him if he kept pressuring me I would leave which it eventually came to that and he fr begged me to stayfrom that point there were no more problems.....until recently for the past 6 months he talks dirty about me taking a bbc whenever we have sex and I've caught him chatting with men on craigslist trying to have sex with him. He says he never goes through with it he just talks to them which I have proved to be true but still what should I do I'm tired of hearing him fantisizing about me and other men our sex life is terrible! I think the threesomes opened a Pandora's Box in your marriage and that's why your husband is pressuring you to sleep with other men. There is a lack of respect for your boundaries and wishes, as well as being faithful. If you are not interested in sleeping with other men and you are turning over a new leaf, your husband should not pressuring you to do something that you are very uncomfortable with. Marriage counseling could be helpful. How can you be certain that he never met people off Craigslist?
Author wifey69 Posted May 8, 2013 Author Posted May 8, 2013 Yea and I've expressed that to him many times and he would stop and start back up again and now its gotten to the point to where he mumbles things while were having sex imagining me with someone else its annoying and the counciling sounds good but I don't have enough $ to pay for one. And I actually went back after I found out who he was talking to and contacted those people asking what happened all of them said he just chatted for awhile set up a place and time and never showed up now I know it might seem a little dumb too believe those things but what I'm supposed to go around obsessing about what I dont truly know? I mean there's a lot I've put up with from him not to mention he tries to keep me in the house 24/7 we live in an apartment and I don't have a key cant get one made cause he keeps putting off taking me and we don't have a phone so I can't call anyone I haven't talked to my family in months and I sold my car to keep him out of jail so I'm stuck here all day by myself I have no friends and I'm really not sure how to deal with this.We are both young I'm 24 and he's 30 so I have a lot that I want to experience and a lot of that he just will not go for.
stillafool Posted May 8, 2013 Posted May 8, 2013 He definitely sounds like he is on the down low. The fact that he not just wanted you to sleep with a white man but one with a big cock. He himself likes looking at the guys's cock. You should contact your family and have them come and get you away from this creep. You are wasting your precious youth with him and trust me it goes by fast. Who wants to be married to a man who fantasizes about being a cuckold. 5
MuscleCarFan Posted May 9, 2013 Posted May 9, 2013 He definitely sounds like he is on the down low. The fact that he not just wanted you to sleep with a white man but one with a big cock. He himself likes looking at the guys's cock. You should contact your family and have them come and get you away from this creep. You are wasting your precious youth with him and trust me it goes by fast. Who wants to be married to a man who fantasizes about being a cuckold. I don't get the whole cuckold thing either...
stillafool Posted May 10, 2013 Posted May 10, 2013 I don't get the whole cuckold thing either... That's because you are a real man.
Anthony2005 Posted May 11, 2013 Posted May 11, 2013 Wifey, Now that you've shed some more light on your situation. You need to get out of that relationship asap. Selling your car to keep him out of jail, not having a phone or even your own key to the apartment. With him chatting with these men about sex between them and setting up times to meet them, regardless if not showing up. If you're serious about changing your life, there will be some people you have to move on without because they will constantly hinder progress. Atleast consider taking a little time away from this, by visiting friends or family for a little while. Hopefully the time away will give you a new perspective on your situation. 1
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