JJ02 Posted May 6, 2013 Posted May 6, 2013 Hello all, I am very new to the whole posting my relationship business for the whole world wide web to see, but I need some outside opinions from both the ridiculous to the sublime. so heres the scoop. I just recently graduated from school and employed with my own place (Im 24 btw). Since Ive dedicated so much time to getting where Im at now, Ive postponed dating in my life but now Im back on the market. Right now I am "dating" two girls at the same time. Yea, it sounds bad, but I never really wanted it to get to this point. So here is my problem. Girl number 1 is everything I want right now, shes employed, her own place, and we share alot of interests. But we dont talk as much, and frankly after talking we both are interested in each other, but she is kinda unsure about being in a solid relationship because she wants to make sure the next person shes in a relationship with, shes going to marry. Girl number 2 (age 23) is my ex from years ago. And I still care about her today as I did then, except then I was immature and it didnt work out. Well now, she made 1 mistake in the past and now she has 3 year old child. We still have sex every now and then, at first it was just one night stands, but now she even stays the night every once and awhile. We've expressed the issue of what a relationship now would be like and I told her Im not ready for a kid in my life, she was hurt, but she understands. now the problem. I really like girl number 1 (age 23) because shes everything I want in my "American Dream". We can enjoy the spontaneity of being young adults with decent incomes. We come from similar family backgrounds, and were like a match made. But I also care about girl number 2, I could see myself with her as well, just not now. But I dont know if Im being shallow and be in a relationship with her and see what happens, or if Im making a good personal choice by waiting it out. Second problem, Im being a little pansy about it, but I dont wanna hurt Girl number 2. She knows that were not together, but I think it would kill her to see or hear me talking about another girl. What do I do??
c.jude Posted May 7, 2013 Posted May 7, 2013 I'm not one for giving much advice...however, I will say this: Pick a side and commit. You are getting both of these girls' hopes up and it is not fair to either of them. They need to move on if you cannot commit to either of them. From what I'm hearing, it seems your "American Dream" is the better choice since she is childless and you have stated that you're not ready for a kid in your life.
PogoStick Posted May 7, 2013 Posted May 7, 2013 Stop using girl 2 for sex. Be a man and tell her you're not ready to settle down and be a father. She deserves someone who will give her 100% and you're not willing to do that. You have to stop sleeping with her or she will stay attached. There's no need to tell her about another girl. Just end it. You know you're doing this because there's a fair chance that girl 1 is going to leave you. That doesn't give you the right to string along #2 as a backup plan. Give it a shot with #1 and see if she comes around. If not, then move on and look for 3, 4 and 5.
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