should i ask these girls out?

[baRx]

i've been avoiding this for a little while now. i'm not one to ask for advice when it comes to these things, but given my track record i think i should give it a shot.

this isn't one of those "does she like me?" threads, it's more of a "do you think i should do something?" thread.

 

edit: wow this was longer than i thought it would have been.

 

 

Girl A - I've known her for a few years now. her family owns a pool hall locally, and over the years i've become a regular there. i know the family very well. i know her, her brother, her mother & her late step-father. i've fixed their cars, i can't tell you how many nights i've closed that place hanging out with them, when the step father passed, i've sent over flowers, etc.. at one point, it was my go-to spot to hang out when i had free time. i've encountered numerous women (whom all have worked there) over the years i've had an interest in, and have weeded out the ones that i've deemed off limits, and it now leaves me to Girl A. i've always kind of had a thing for this girl. i guess it's merely just an attraction, because i'm not sure if i'd actually want to be in a relationship with her or not yet. she does seem like a good girl, though.. so maybe a relationship with her wouldn't be so bad.

 

back in the day, a buddy of mine went out with her once and he said it was awful, so i never really pursued anything due to his experience, but lately, i've noticed some flirting between the two of us. i can't really explain it, it's something you'd have to be there with me to actually see and understand, so i can't really give examples. but just know that i've noticed a change in our interactions. normally it's just a light-hearted hello, how are you type of interaction, but lately we've been joking around more often and are getting a tad closer.

 

she's usually very quiet, and seems kind of shy. odd behavior for a bartender, but whatever. about a week ago, i showed up later than usual, and she had been drinking shots all night with people. she was so much more outgoing. she was actually really fun to be around. we joked around back and forth all night. it was the first time in all the years i've known her that i can say i truly enjoyed hanging with her.

back in the winter, i made the mistake of telling an ex-friend that i wanted to ask her out. he went ahead and told her this while i was in the bathroom, and later when i went out to smoke he told me that he told her, praising himself for getting "me in" with her. i wasn't exactly planning on making a move or anything, so his intrusion annoyed me. later on in the night, i told her not to mind my friend, he likes to talk out of his ass when he drinks. she laughed and i then asked her hypothetically, if i was to ask her out, what her response would be. (i wasn't very confident back then. this has changed now, though) she said it would be a yes, but it wasn't an excited "i'd totally say yes!" or anything so i'm not sure if she was just trying to be nice or not. it was more like a "yeah.. i mean, i would" kind of answer.

the reason i'm bringing this up is because just 2 days ago she said she doesn't date customers when we got on the subject, so i don't know if i should really bother asking her out or not.

another friend of mine who comes there with me recently asked her out and she turned him down. i thought for sure he had a better shot than i did, so i was surprised - but also relieved because this is a guy that should not be going on dates with women. maybe she saw that. i don't know.

i remember one night after flirting with her for a while, a buddy of mine and myself went to another bar, and later came back because i needed to get something out of my car. when we came back, we stopped in for a quick shot, she asked why we came back and i jokingly responded "we came back to see you, duh." and did a shot with her. she blew it off with a "yeah right" answer. later, i told her that we were going to be there the following night because we had a whole group coming out for a friend's birthday and she'd (jokingly) better be there as well. she assured me she'd be there despite the fact it was her night off.

the next day, her mother called me about a car question and then asked about the get-together we had planned and if we were still going. when i told her we'd definitely be there, she informed me that Girl A mentioned it and said she was going to come in because of it. maybe this is something i'm just reading into, but i'm wondering if maybe it was because our flirting had picked up.

 

she gave me her number a few months back because she had a car question, and we exchanged a couple of text messages about the subject the next day, then she stopped responding. about 3 weeks later i grew a pair of balls and was going to ask her out, so i sent her a text message, just a 'hello' type message and she never answered me. i eventually lost my phone and lost her number, and never bothered to ask for it again.

the other night when we were there, she took a picture of herself giving the middle finger and showed it to me on her phone. later that night after i left, she texted me the picture. i had completely forgotten about it at the time, and later asked who's number it was. i realized who it was the next day and apologized, telling her i lost her number. she responded "yeah d-ck, now you have it!" and after i tried to continue the conversation, she just stopped responding and i haven't heard from her since. maybe she's just not the type of person to text often, i don't know.

so anyway, in summary, i'm not too sure if i should waste the time or not with this one.

 

Girl B - out of the two women i'm writing about, this one is my 100% favorite. she's actually my favorite out of all the women i've merely interacted with recently.

i have a blast when i see her. she's a bartender at another bar down the street from Girl A's pool hall. i remember when she first started working there, i thought she was a b-tch. she didn't seem all that friendly, didn't seem like she wanted to joke around, and i figured there was going to be no shot.

as time went on, she's warmed up to me ten-fold. the bar is pretty big, so it's usually divided between three bartenders, each working their own 'section'. if for whatever reason i end up in a different section than hers, she makes it a point to come over and say hello, give me a kiss and BS with me for a few minutes before returning to her own. i don't really see her doing that with anyone else... but maybe i'm reading into it. usually during the course of the night i'll migrate over to hers so i can hang out with her. lately, the flirting has been off the charts. again, it's not something i can explain -- you'd really have to be there to see it....the second she sees me shes smiling, her body language tells me she's into me, or at least, i'd like to think so (she's always leaning in to talk to me, sometimes her hands are on the sides of her face, etc etc - can't really describe it)...she makes excessive eye contact and laughs at my retarded drunken jokes. she even plays along when i mess with her. she also notices when i'm not my usual happy joking self. last time i was in there, i was a little annoyed at something and was quieter, but still friendly. instead of just making idle conversation and not giving a damn, she went out of her way to ask me what was up and told me i seemed different. i know it's not much, but the fact that she noticed when most people usually don't was a good sign i guess. (the other two bartenders i know well from there didn't bring it up as i was talking to them, so that's what strikes me about this girl)

when she has a few minutes where it's slow, she'll almost always come over to me and stand in front of me, instead of going elsewhere. sometimes not saying anything at all as if she's just waiting for me to say something, or she'll start a conversation herself. other times when it's a little slower, she'll go around the whole bar making sure customers have their drinks and don't need anything, once she gets to me, instead of just asking if i'm okay and moving along, she'll stay there longer.

it's not much to go on, but these are the things i notice when it comes to her.

 

last week while joking around, she asked me a question about something, i don't remember what, and i made some stupid joke about having to ask my magic 8-ball. she played along well, and throughout the course of the night we were both making magic 8-ball references when talking to each other.

i went out the next day and bought her one as a gag gift. i've seen her twice since, but have not brought the 8-ball with me because i wasn't sure what her schedule was. i told her that i bought her one and she seemed receptive. seems like she enjoyed it, so last time i saw her (a few days ago) i asked for her schedule so i know to bring it with me next time.

in summary, i'm more sure with this one that i should try to fire it up a little more and maybe make a move, but i think i need a second opinion first.

 

so anyway, before anyone says anything -- i know they're both bartenders. i know they flirt and rely on tips and flirting is a tactic they'll use to get a better tip... but these girls aren't looking for tips out of me. i usually tip Girl A well every time i'm there, so she knows that even if we don't speak much, she's still going to get one. it's customary for me, i've always been a good tipper.

Girl B, i never tip. it's a different kind of bar than most and in the 5 years i've been going there, it's very rare i tip ANY bartender there. the bartenders understand that, as that's just how it is there, so i know she's not fishing for anything when she acts this way towards me. almost nobody tips the bartenders.

 

i know i didn't give you guys a lot of information on what our relationships are like, so it's probably going to be hard to figure out what i should do here. i just thought i'd put it out there anyway and see what people think. in all honestly, the answer to this thread is probably going to be "what have you got to lose? just ask her/them out and see what happens" but i'd rather make an attempt to get someone else's point of view before i do this. i don't want to mistake what i'm perceiving as flirting as them just being nice/friendly, and then look like a fool when i go to ask them out.

[todreaminblue]

Ask the girl you really like out, she does sound into you......flirting is normally more obvious if she was really a flirt you would know it without a doubt............in my opinion...when there is genuine interest, it is more about the smiles and enjoying being around you...to me sounds like its a go for you to ask.....a go for both actually....but ask the girl out you really do like...girl b...............updates please....good luck.......deb

[Estate]

Not meaning to be rude but there's no way I could consume that much detail when the question is simply "Should I ask someone out?"

 

If you like them the answer is yes.

If you don't like them the answer is no.

 

Simples.

[baRx]

Ask the girl you really like out, she does sound into you......flirting is normally more obvious if she was really a flirt you would know it without a doubt............in my opinion...when there is genuine interest, it is more about the smiles and enjoying being around you...to me sounds like its a go for you to ask.....a go for both actually....but ask the girl out you really do like...girl b...............updates please....good luck.......deb

 

thanks, i figured if i were to ask either of them out, it would have been girl b -- but i've recently found out she has a boyfriend, so now i'm not going to waste the time .

it came up casually during conversation about something else. oh well!