JasonJ03 Posted May 6, 2013 Posted May 6, 2013 Hello: So I broke up with my girlfriend of over a year about 4 months ago. She was devastated. I was confused, uncertain, and going through what I would describe as an identity crisis. I wasn't happy with myself and I was dragging her down. So I ended it. Months passed and feelings for her did not subside. Finally I contacted her. It was going well. We talked for a couple weeks until I broke. I went in desperately trying to get her back. I was jealous of her possibly meeting new guys and I showed it. I begged and was rejected. A couple weeks later, she started posting pictures of her and a new guy. I was at my lowest. I broke contact with her. I stopped completely. I stopped looking at her Facebook. I started finding happiness within myself. Over a month had past and things were going great for me. I surrounded myself with happy people and brought myself back up. Then two weeks ago, a text came from her. We started talking and I invited her for lunch. Things went well. We have hung out a couple of times since. I have been thinking of sending her some spring flowers or something to her work tomorrow. I want to send them annonymously, and using a nickname only I used to call her so shell know. Is it too early yet?
Lc1984 Posted May 6, 2013 Posted May 6, 2013 Hi, You haven't said if she's still with a new guy but I don't think that will change my advice... If you pushed her away before by coming on too strong, sending flowers does send that sort of signal again. I know what it's like when you want to make a gesture and it's so easy to talk yourself into all the reasons you should do it but that doesn't always mean it's the right thing to do. I think if you're hanging out and talking and things are good then just be you with no gestures and see where it takes you, no grand gestures! The only thing I would say you should think about is what if she is just enjoying hanging out with you and isn't thinking along the same lines as you? Are you going to be ok if she does start seeing someone else thinking you and her are just friends? The only reason I say that is because I'd hate you to end up having to go through your break up feels all over again. Take care
Author JasonJ03 Posted May 6, 2013 Author Posted May 6, 2013 I'm pretty certain she is not but I have not brought that up. She deleted a picture she had with him on fb and I noticed there hadn't been any interactions (likes etc.) from him. Yes I have been browsing her fb again lol... I keep my feelings pretty tame around her only show positives and share some laughs. I'm obviously not going to show the fear and panic I have towards what you are suggesting could be a possibility. Yes that scares me! I enjoy being with her and yesterday we were at the mall. I seen couples holding hands and kissing and I wanted that so badly with her. How will I know whay she is feeling? I'm afraid to ask yet...
swiftly333 Posted May 7, 2013 Posted May 7, 2013 As a woman: flowers a great from someone you really like and annoying from someone you don't. Unless its her birthday or something I'd hold off until you guys have progressed to actually dating and she's shin obvious signs of thinking about getting back together. If she just broke up with this other guy then Beware, it could be that she's upset and knows she can gt attention from you..... Just take it real slow. Learn to control your emotions and impulses. 2
crederer Posted May 7, 2013 Posted May 7, 2013 Ya a bit much I think. I don't really know what the issues were or what you've said to her so far. I'd just let her know you really feel like you messed up and made a mistake. You want to have her back. Talk about the reasons why you ended it in the first place. Don't grovel though, it's kind of pathetic.
Author JasonJ03 Posted May 7, 2013 Author Posted May 7, 2013 Ya I think the flowers are not a good idea yet. I was thinking about it last night and I am just feeling a lot of excitement and emotions towards it. I thought about how I got her in the first place and it was through humor and confidence. Instead of flowers I think I'll text her tonight and say "So after I ace that aptitude test on Friday I guess you can take me out for a drink" lol
Leigh 87 Posted May 9, 2013 Posted May 9, 2013 Just be honest. Something like " I want you back, I still love you and cannot get you off my mind, it is not because I am lonely or bored either.. I badly want to be with you again. I understand if you have moved on and I will respect your decision if you are not interested in giving our relationship another shot" Then just see what she says. She may ignore you, she may say yes or no, she may break down and cry. Who knows!
orionboxing Posted May 10, 2013 Posted May 10, 2013 Don't send her flowers. That looks completely needy. Don't worry, I've thought about doing this as well but always come to my senses prior to doing it. You need to create renewed interest with this girl, become mysterious, play a little hard to get. She's got you where she wants you and you are giving her control. It's sounds like she jumped into the arms of another guy quite quickly. Remember that she can do this again, so you need to prepare yourself for that and do whatever it takes to get her basically obsessed with you. I'm just being honest. You need to "game" this chick a little bit.
swiftly333 Posted May 10, 2013 Posted May 10, 2013 You need to create renewed interest with this girl, become mysterious, play a little hard to get. She's got you where she wants you and you are giving her control. You need to "game" this chick a little bit. I don't agree with this. I agree that you don't want to make yourself look desperate or needy, but "playing games" or manipulation or anything of the like does not foster healthy, loving relationships. Tone it down, keep cool, but also be honest with yourself most of all, and act accordingly. 1
Recommended Posts