chelle21689 Posted May 6, 2013 Posted May 6, 2013 I woke up to a text my cousin sent me randomly about my ex. I have no idea why but she sent me a picture that his friend took of him and posted it on Facebook. I have to admit it was very sweet what he did for his wife. He was drawing her a birthday cake on his tablet to send to his wife because he couldn't be with her that day for army duty. My cousin's message "He's changed!" I told her not to do that and it just brought bad thoughts about why wasn't I good enough for that? I mean he did sweet stuff for me like hand-make a teddy bear for me, write me poems, and stuff like that. But he never bought me flowers because they were a waste but he did for her, he comments on her photos and tell her she's beautiful, and proudly calls her his as in "With MY wife!" He called me beautiful sometimes but never commented on my photos on Facebook. Btw, they got married due to her being a non-citizen of the United States. But I know that doesn't change feelings. His brother mentioned once that she was "in charge" in the relationship lol I don't know if that has anything to do with him being nicer. My ex was never "submissive" I am curious..I don't think I treat my boyfriend now better than I did when I was with my ex. I mean, I've learned from mistakes but I don't think I treat him like a king better than the past. I'm truly curious. I know I shouldn't think about it but I can't help it as of right now when my cousin sent me that She said she won't do it again.
will1988 Posted May 6, 2013 Posted May 6, 2013 why does it matter that he is treating her well, after all she is his wife now? time to move on. I treat my current fiance better than I treated my exes, because I matured and grew up. I was always paranoid with my exes because they were kind of skanky and people that hurt me. My fiance has given me no reason to not trust her, so in return I treat her like my queen, and I'm her king. So sure, if a past ex, that I've not blocked on facebook (which is all of them, I'm burn bridges kind of guy when it comes to breakups), looks at my pictures with my fiance and gets jelous... you know what I would say? So what? I couldn't care less about how they feel. So you need to realize that your ex would probably say the same thing if he knew how you felt. So there is no need to get all gushy and bent out of shape realizing that he has moved on, it is time for you to do the same. good luck! 1
Author chelle21689 Posted May 6, 2013 Author Posted May 6, 2013 You don't think I know that? I don't see anything wrong with taking a lil moment to just ask and make conversation out of it. llol
serial muse Posted May 6, 2013 Posted May 6, 2013 (edited) Well, the danger of looking back on things in this way is that you don't actually know what he might be doing that isn't so nice - you're only getting the rosy, edited-for-Facebook version. Maybe she's wondering why she doesn't get poems. But she's not going to post about that. Take Facebook with a grain of salt. There are four sides to every story: his version, her version, the truth, and the Facebook version. To answer your question, though: Well, people sometimes do actually mature and learn from past mistakes. So maybe he's become a better partner. Or maybe their dynamic is just different, and it works for them in a way that it didn't end up working for you. Or maybe, as I said, you only see a part of what's going on between them anyway. You'll probably never know, but that's OK too. Edited May 6, 2013 by serial muse 2
coltsfan1 Posted May 6, 2013 Posted May 6, 2013 Maybe not "better" but I sure try to treat the gal I am dating now different. I do this for 3 reasons, 1 being she isn't the ex so she needs different things, 2 I am not the guy my ex dated so I need different things now, 3 I am trying not to repeat the same mistakes over and over. 1
Estate Posted May 6, 2013 Posted May 6, 2013 I woke up to a text my cousin sent me randomly about my ex. I have no idea why but she sent me a picture that his friend took of him and posted it on Facebook. I have to admit it was very sweet what he did for his wife. He was drawing her a birthday cake on his tablet to send to his wife because he couldn't be with her that day for army duty. My cousin's message "He's changed!" I told her not to do that and it just brought bad thoughts about why wasn't I good enough for that? I mean he did sweet stuff for me like hand-make a teddy bear for me, write me poems, and stuff like that. But he never bought me flowers because they were a waste but he did for her, he comments on her photos and tell her she's beautiful, and proudly calls her his as in "With MY wife!" He called me beautiful sometimes but never commented on my photos on Facebook. Btw, they got married due to her being a non-citizen of the United States. But I know that doesn't change feelings. His brother mentioned once that she was "in charge" in the relationship lol I don't know if that has anything to do with him being nicer. My ex was never "submissive" I am curious..I don't think I treat my boyfriend now better than I did when I was with my ex. I mean, I've learned from mistakes but I don't think I treat him like a king better than the past. I'm truly curious. I know I shouldn't think about it but I can't help it as of right now when my cousin sent me that She said she won't do it again. Let go of the bitterness, it will eat away at you. Sounds like he did lots of lovely things for you too. 1
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