What's real? What's a just a breadcrumb?

[IS IT Better late]

So if you haven't seen any of my posts, I was in a short but pretty intense relationship. 5-months of fun mostly, but she went cold real quick and gave me a bunch of BS as to why she can't have a relationship with me. The break up was pretty clean, no begging on my part. But I was destroyed.

 

It ended it late Feb and we've been mostly LC via text only. I was guilty of still texting her the first few weeks after b/c I was and still am addicted to her. We've had periods of NC, the latest was 2 1/2 weeks. But she texted me this weekend. And of course I don't have the will power to not respond.

 

But here's the point of this post. The last 2- times she has reached out to me after a period of NC her texts are getting warmer and warmer in regards to her expressing interest in seeing me again. She flat out told me she wants to see me again. I told her not to waste my time with empty promises and I will only believe her words when she gets in her car and comes to my place. She hasn't committed to a date yet.

 

So I'm trying to figure out if her intentions are real or this is just breadcrumbs to feed her ego knowing I'm still interested. My plan is to go NC again and see what happens.

 

I'm still not over this chick, I miss her terribly, but she put me through so much pain and I can't have this girl string me along. I'm in Limbo!

 

Any advice, suggestions form ppl who have been through this is appreciated.

 

Thanks!

[KatZee]

It's real when she says: I'm sorry I made a huge mistake I want you and only you and I want to give our relationship another try.

 

Anything else is BS. Move on.

[IS IT Better late]

Thanks for your reply. So I'm looking for her to apologize? Anything else is BS? The other thing I noticed is that she's more and more curious about how I'm spending my time and she's even made a remark or two about other girls.

 

I'm sensing a little bit of jealousy coming from her, or at least she's curious if I'm dating other girls. Of course I don't tell her anything. It's really not her business. I know girls can get pretty territorial. Is this any indication that shes's afraid of losing me to another chick?

[Chi townD]

So if you haven't seen any of my posts, I was in a short but pretty intense relationship. 5-months of fun mostly, but she went cold real quick and gave me a bunch of BS as to why she can't have a relationship with me. The break up was pretty clean, no begging on my part. But I was destroyed.

 

It ended it late Feb and we've been mostly LC via text only. I was guilty of still texting her the first few weeks after b/c I was and still am addicted to her. We've had periods of NC, the latest was 2 1/2 weeks. But she texted me this weekend. And of course I don't have the will power to not respond.

 

But here's the point of this post. The last 2- times she has reached out to me after a period of NC her texts are getting warmer and warmer in regards to her expressing interest in seeing me again. She flat out told me she wants to see me again. I told her not to waste my time with empty promises and I will only believe her words when she gets in her car and comes to my place. She hasn't committed to a date yet.

 

So I'm trying to figure out if her intentions are real or this is just breadcrumbs to feed her ego knowing I'm still interested. My plan is to go NC again and see what happens.

 

I'm still not over this chick, I miss her terribly, but she put me through so much pain and I can't have this girl string me along. I'm in Limbo!

 

Any advice, suggestions form ppl who have been through this is appreciated.

 

Thanks!

 

Everything you wrote is nothing BUT breadcrumbs and you've already answered those questions for yourself. You stated to her that if she was serious she would be at your door and not sending you texts. So, has she shown up at your door? Anything stopping her from doing that? YEP! What's stopping her is that she wasn't serious and didn't mean what she wrote.

 

The ONLY thing that isn't breadcrumbs is, "I'm sorry. I was wrong and made a huge mistake. I want to come back and I will do anything to prove to you that we are meant for each other. I can't have you out of my life any longer."

 

Anything short of that is just breadcrumbs. And even if you DID get that kind of text, you need to take it with a grain of salt.

[StraylightRun24]

Hey IS IT Better late. I think your idea of going back and doing NC is the right course of action. Much like KatZee said unless she's telling you straight up she made a mistake and wants to get back together with you these texts are only breadcrumbs.

 

She may not want you to be with another girl but that doesn't necessarily mean she wants to be with you. Don't ask me how that exactly works but "been there....done that....NO FUN."

 

I don't envy your situation my friend. As you know that's exactly why I asked my ex please to not contact me even though she wanted to. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have had the will power. So try your hardest to remain NC because she's going to text you again in the upcoming days or weeks.

[crederer]

If you really want to get back with her, meet her at a time that is convenient for you. Don't drop anything. If you're busy that day, say so. Regain some control in this.

 

When you meet, don't act like you're desperate. Ask what exactly her intentions are. How are things going to be different? Why should you believe that she isn't going to flake out again?

 

Then if her answers are convincing don't give any answers as to what you are going to do and tell her you need a few days to think about you want to do this or not. If she wants to get back with you she'll be more than willing to give that to you.

 

If she asks about who you've been seeing be vague about it. Don't say yes or no, just say something like "I've been doing my own thing" or something that doesn't give anything away. You were single so it's none of her business if you did or are seeing someone, and you don't want to look like you were waiting around for her either.

 

Good luck, I truly hope she's worth it dude.

[KPChick000]

When I regretted breaking up with my boyfriend last year and wanted him back, I took the risk and went to see him in person so we could talk things through. To me, I had one shot and I was going to prove that I was serious. I personally would not just drop hints of wanting to get back together via text.

[KatZee]

Thanks for your reply. So I'm looking for her to apologize? Anything else is BS? The other thing I noticed is that she's more and more curious about how I'm spending my time and she's even made a remark or two about other girls.

 

I'm sensing a little bit of jealousy coming from her, or at least she's curious if I'm dating other girls. Of course I don't tell her anything. It's really not her business. I know girls can get pretty territorial. Is this any indication that shes's afraid of losing me to another chick?

 

She's not scared of losing you. She already dumped you. She doesn't want you. (Harsh truth, sorry.) The only thing that hurts is her ego. She doesn't want you but she doesn't want you moving on first. It's human nature to want what we can't have and it's human nature to feel competitive. I'm sure she dumped you thinking she could find better and moving on shows her you're fine without her. She doesn't want you to be fine. It's selfish dumper personality.

[IS IT Better late]

Thanks for all the advice! I guess I got some tasty breadcrumbs huh. The funny thing is I feel good for a few days after I get them but then I'm left analyzing what this chick wants? Then all goes quiet and I'm right back to feeling like shyt and missing her again.

 

Stray and Katzee what you said is funny, so they dump you, but they also don't want you with anybody else? So we should just sit here in isolation. I don't get that one at all. They must still have feelings for us then? I know when I ended relationships in the past I was happy when my ex's moved on b/c I had no more interest in them. I would never say and do things that this chick is doing. If she was completely done why does she care about my life?

 

And Chitown you're a 100% right nothing is stopping her to come see me. I told her I don't believe anything she tells me until I see her car parked out front.

 

Well its back to NC, fun, fun!

[SalientPoint]

I was getting so many breadcrumbs towards the end that I was forced to block my ex's texts, cause like you said, they would make me feel good at first, till I realized they were just bs and I'd come crashing back down. I was sad to have to do it, but not expecting any breadcrumbs really helps the recovery process. Like everyone said, unless she's willing to see you in person and talk it out it's all just smoke up your behind unfortunately. NC really is the only way to go, though painful. Good luck!

[Pisces13]

Stray and Katzee what you said is funny, so they dump you, but they also don't want you with anybody else? So we should just sit here in isolation. I don't get that one at all. They must still have feelings for us then? I know when I ended relationships in the past I was happy when my ex's moved on b/c I had no more interest in them. I would never say and do things that this chick is doing. If she was completely done why does she care about my life?

 

I'm going through this currently with my ex. After 2 months apart, she confessed that she still loves me, misses me like crazy and doesn't want any other girl to have me, yet she still doesn't want to be back in a relationship with me...

 

My ex told me that she no longer has feelings for me, yet when I told her how I made out with another girl a few weeks ago she messaged me the next day saying how she had been crying all day, felt sick in her stomach and didn't know how to deal with it. You don't feel like that if you don't have feelings for some one. Like you mentioned, you wouldn't care and it wouldn't bother you if you truly didn't, I don't care if you're trying to play games whatever or not.

 

To be honest, I think G.I.G.S. dumpers try to convince themselves of a lot of things to try and justify their decisions, such as "no longer being in love" or "not having feelings anymore", that is why a lot of them wake up to themselves down the line and realize that they made a mistake. As others in this topic have said though, you can't read too much in to it, unless she is banging at your door pouring her heart out to you about giving it another shot, just continue on living your life.