Eeshan Posted May 6, 2013 Posted May 6, 2013 I have this girl in my office whom I like and I think she can be the one. We talk almost daily as peers, and I have started to like her. I am hesitant on whether I should tell her my feelings upright or wait for some kind of signal from her. She is the most decent girl in office I have ever seen till date. She is single that I know. And I don't want to miss the opportunity of conveying my feelings. I don't know what she thinks about me. That's why I don't want to be upright about telling her or else I'll be embarrassed in front of her, or maybe I'll end up losing a friend. Can anyone suggest me something?
soccerrprp Posted May 6, 2013 Posted May 6, 2013 I'm at a point in my life where I am willing to take chances when it comes to finding someone. You know the old saying, "life is too short." I believe it's certainly too short to withold how you feel about someone and risk regretting never have done anything at all. But, in this case, how long have you known her? Perhaps asking her out sometime? Frankly, dating in the work place is not a good idea. You will need to be aware of how uncomfortable it will be for the both of you if she rejects your or it doesn't work out. Are you prepared for that? Think hard....
Author Eeshan Posted May 6, 2013 Author Posted May 6, 2013 I have known her about 7 months now. Yes I completely understand the delicacy of the situation in case the opposite happens. Thats why I am in this "should or shouldn't" situation. We have been together for coffee a couple of times but that was totally...you can say. ..peerism. I have mixed feelings about the outcome. Almost every morning she pings me on the office communicator. Even I do not want to regret holding it on to myself, but at the same time I do not want to spoil it.
Imajerk17 Posted May 6, 2013 Posted May 6, 2013 (edited) Ask her to get together away from the office. Surely you know each others' hobbies or common interests by now, right? Should be something fun like a concert or movie you both wanted to see or a hiking trail you both like. Much more low-key and natural than "telling her how you feel", and the ambiguity ("is he asking me out or is this a friends thing?") is actually your friend, especially if she is on the fence about you. You'll figure out where you both stand with each other if (a) she says yes, and (b) what happens on your date. You can show indeed that you meant it as a date by flirting, touching and making a move, ect. Edited May 6, 2013 by Imajerk17
Author Eeshan Posted May 7, 2013 Author Posted May 7, 2013 Getting together away from office is something which is not possible as she has her bus after office that she never misses as her home is quite far away. I know that I have to talk to her in office, probably hint her what she means to me or what I think of future. But I do not even know how to make a start (m very bad at this). I know I cannot beat around the bush, what I say is very prompt and upright. But here I do not want to be so.
justin1988 Posted May 7, 2013 Posted May 7, 2013 Be really careful. The office situation and having to work together issues already mentioned are a big deal but missing out on that perfect woman is also a big deal. I would just make your current office contact a little bit more flirty and see how she responds. Feel it out. If it looks like she's responding to your subtle hints in a favorable way slowly just start laying it on thicker until the way she feels is obvious to you. Sometimes just realizing someone is attracted to you is enough to get you thinking about them in a "more than just friends" way. 1
Author Eeshan Posted May 12, 2013 Author Posted May 12, 2013 I had chance of taking her out for coffee once again. This time I had to tell her how I felt about her. She was taken by surprise. She said she did not know how to react at my words. She simply told me that I was a very nice guy and a true gentleman but she had never thought of me in that way and probably never could. She said that the decision of her life is in the hands of her parents. I had the instinct that her reply would be something like that. But then I asked her if we could remain friends as before. She said we are very good friends and will remain so. Then we returned to office as we went, talking as normal friends. But I don't think that she will ever see me as a friend again. I don't want to lose contact with her. But I had to tell her my feelings today as this was probably the last day I was going to see her in office as she is going on a long leave and I am changing my job and location. I still have this strong intution that she is the one and I won't let her go. Please suggest how should I keep in touch with her. I am even ready to talk to her parents but only if she accepts my feelings. She texted me this afternoon that I was a very nice guy and hoped that I would find a good partner, but how do I tell her that she is the ideal one for me.
Yookie Posted May 12, 2013 Posted May 12, 2013 You already told her how you feel and she said:"...she had never thought of me in that way and probably never could." That means back off. Don't talk to her parents. Don't try to persuade her. Don't pass go or collect $200. Don't jeopardize your job by becoming stalkerish. In fact you need to get her out of your head by not contacting her at all and find someone else to stalk.. err find someone else to date.
Author Eeshan Posted May 12, 2013 Author Posted May 12, 2013 Or maybe she will start thinking about me in that way now. I wont lose hope, though I wont compell her for anything, only if things go on pretty well I will take another chance.
JuneJulySeptember Posted May 12, 2013 Posted May 12, 2013 I have this girl in my office whom I like and I think she can be the one. We talk almost daily as peers, and I have started to like her. I am hesitant on whether I should tell her my feelings upright or wait for some kind of signal from her. She is the most decent girl in office I have ever seen till date. She is single that I know. And I don't want to miss the opportunity of conveying my feelings. I don't know what she thinks about me. That's why I don't want to be upright about telling her or else I'll be embarrassed in front of her, or maybe I'll end up losing a friend. Can anyone suggest me something? Don't take this the wrong way, but everything you've written here is pretty much a losing strategy. First off, if you were attracted to her, you should have let it be known from the start. Second, never have 'feelings' for a person if you are not sure that they are attracted to you or not. Thirdly, the 'fearing losing her as a friend'. Typical marginalized male talk. Now, you're in a compromising position where she will reject you even if you have a great rapport if she has no physical attraction to you. Then, you have to deal with the feelings you have for her and still see her on a daily basis. If it were me, I'd just let it go.
JuneJulySeptember Posted May 12, 2013 Posted May 12, 2013 Or maybe she will start thinking about me in that way now. I wont lose hope, though I wont compell her for anything, only if things go on pretty well I will take another chance. Not a chance in h@ll buddy. You don't realize it now, but this is a battle that you lost within the first 5 minutes of meeting her. I behoove you to learn from your mistakes and completely overhaul your thinking about women.
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