senoritabonita Posted May 6, 2013 Posted May 6, 2013 A month ago I went on my bfs computer and his skype opened. Since he´d been unfaithful on vacation in the past, I had to snoop. He lives in Paris, I live in Madrid. We have plans to move in together this summer. I discovered that back in August, he met up with an ex lover. They had been on and off for three years and she was leaving Paris to go to Vienna so I suppose he had met her to say goodbye. I told him that I saw this and asked him why he didnt tell me about this and he said it was not important and that they had met up with a group of people. He also said that he did not mention he had a girlfriend, even though we´ve been together for over a year. He said that was not important and he can tell whoever he wants about our relationship. I knew that meeting up with a group was not likely as they had been lovers not friends of any sort. So, after one month of arguing about this because he was not sensitive at all to my feelings, and instead screamed at me incessently for making a big deal about this- I asked him to show me their text messages to prove it. Even though I know they communicated mainly through facebook. Turns out they met up twice since we met, and they were completely alone the second time. I was so upset about this I turned into a monster and said I was going to contact her over facebook (not meaning any of it) etc.. I know that something else went on there. He told me he saw her in August because he had some "unfinished business" to take care of with her. I don´t understand. He tells me I am the "one" and he wants to marry me etc..what unfinished business could he possibly have? Obviously they did not meet each other without having sex. One of my close friends says "he´s with you now, going everywhere with you, not her. Get over it." but what logic is that? What if the girl still lived in Paris? To me it is completely wrong and I think I need to break up with him if he even has the courage to do this and then yell at me! What do you think, Should I end it?
Darren Steez Posted May 6, 2013 Posted May 6, 2013 So let's put it like this..he can treat you wonderfully for 6 days out of a week then on the 7th day, he can spend it screaming at you, throwing your clothes into the street, bringing another woman into the house and kissing her in front of you, then for the next six days treat you like a princess. He's cheated before, most likely cheated now and most likely because he shows no remorse for what he does to you will do it again..but it's ok because "He's with you now" and he treats you good for most of the time. Tell him goodbye and find a nice man, who will respect and love you in kind.
justwhoiam Posted May 6, 2013 Posted May 6, 2013 Obviously they did not meet each other without having sex. Did he admit having sex with her? Or is it your assumption? What was the tone of her texts? One of my close friends says "he´s with you now, going everywhere with you, not her. Get over it." but what logic is that? What if the girl still lived in Paris? To me it is completely wrong and I think I need to break up with him if he even has the courage to do this and then yell at me! What do you think, Should I end it? You have her number. Call her and ask her if they had sex, and that he's been your bf for over one year. If he played both of you, dump him. Otherwise, get over it.
will1988 Posted May 6, 2013 Posted May 6, 2013 once a cheater, always a cheater... your friend is an idiot BTW. You should leave him in a heart beat. Don't wait!
swiftly333 Posted May 6, 2013 Posted May 6, 2013 Where do I start? Snooping. Lies. Lying through omission. Cheating. Threats. Checking up on each other. There's is no trust here. Relationships need trust. That's not something to.just "get over already." I think your "friend's" advice is misguided. He tells you it doesn't matter? What I hear is "you and this relationship.don't matter" He sounds selfish.
HJZ Posted May 6, 2013 Posted May 6, 2013 I think you already know the answer to your own question... this is not a healthy relationship at all. You're holding on to something that you may be romanticizing in your head, but I think deep down you know you need to end it.
affairaddict Posted May 6, 2013 Posted May 6, 2013 He's screaming At you calling you crazy as he is trying to make you feel guilty and detract attention from him. This is a major bad sign and red flag. I know I've been there. He had the opportunity to own up and give you assurance which is what a loving boyfriend should do but he didnt. He is a liar and disrespectful. If you let it go and don't leave, he will do it again- perhaps not with her but someone else.
SimonSerenade Posted May 6, 2013 Posted May 6, 2013 There's certain things you just don't do in a relationship and he did all of those things, maybe he's trying to make up for it now but still doesn't excuse him do doing what he did and acting like a dick about it, the question you have to ask yourself is will he do it again and shrug off your feelings?, I don't think it ever really works out with someone immune to feelings but who knows, see how it goes and try not to think about it, those sort of thoughts will kill you inside.
Recommended Posts