I effed up perfect opportunity to take things to next level. Is this over for me now?

[Gu_Ga]

I can’t stop thinking about this since 4pm Friday… it’s Sunday but I’m losing my mind. 20/20 hindsight, she invited me to her house for drinks and I should have went for it instead of I saying next time. WTF???

 

I have been flirting up with hot girl for sometime now and run into her on my way to the office. We are in our 30s and work in different depts. but have gone out to happy hours with our coworkers several times. On Friday she was walking in with her coworker. She looked great and I complimented her on that right away while ignoring the other guy. She loved it. Her eyes sparkled up. I went to get a coffee and she came over to get some too with her coworker in tow. Again, small talk flirty up while kinda ignoring the other guy. I have nothing against her coworker, in fact, I befriended him first to get to know her. He is funny guy and keeps up convos light.

 

Few hour later, all three of us chatting over IM and convos turned into raunchy talk involving happy endings, massage parlors, French maid costume, boobs, having ballz to do vodka shots during the day while in office. We had a hidden stash of small bottle of vodka that we put into fridge to chill for later. Got into breakroom at 3pm but there somebody else that kinda killed the momentum, then this guy played p**sy by backing out of taking a shot. Without her coworker she didn’t want to do it either.

 

Now here is where I started to eff things up. She asked me if I’m working late again. They usually leave by 5, I leave close to 6-7pm. I had a feeling that she wanted to get drinks after work, so I said I have nothing to do after 5pm. I could see disappointment on her face. Then she said that she is going to have few friends over to her house for drinks but this will be after 7pm. I live 1 hour away so she probably was thinking I’ll leave after 5 and won’t come back. I tried to correct the situation and offered how about drinks at local place between 5-7 then? She said, she needs to buy food, drinks, and clean up the house since this was decided in last couple of hours. Now, her coworker listening in on convo and I all of sudden got uncomfortable and didn’t want to say that I’ll wait 2 hours then come. So it got awkward fast. Hindsight, I should have said, you go prep your house, I’ll buy food and drinks and see ya there at 7. Brain effing freeze!!! Somebody came over telling her manager looking for her, so we just ended with it’s good that we didn’t take the shots. She left but the other guy and I took a detour to men’s room and I kept pushing him on getting on board with taking a vodka shot before we all leave at 5pm. He, turned tables on me and said why don’t you two take all the shots tonight for me (with emphasis on tonight implying he will be extra there).

 

Later in an hour, I got called for a meeting and she messaged me as I was getting up from my desk if I’m coming tonight. 2nd effing brain freeze and I replied “next time”. For which I got “k, next time” and that second I realized there won’t be next time. So, I replied to her that I’m running to this 1 hour long meeting and to have a good time for me too but to give me some heads up next time so I know, otherwise it doesn’t feel right showing up to somebody’s house on a whim. To which her reply was ‘not the same without you. Have a nice weekend.’

 

I went to the meeting but couldn’t hear anything, sat there trying to understand WTF happened. Friday started out so promising with all the flirting up and she didn’t have any plans but then she went out of her comfortzone to put a get-together at her house thinking I’ll be done by 7pm and come over for drinks with friends and who knows what’s next. I came out of the meeting, she is gone. Fought off urge to txt her phone and stayed in the office another 2 hours brain dead. Then drove home like a zombie and couldn’t sleep. Tried to keep my mind off her all Saturday and Sunday but as Monday approaches I don’t know how to make my biggest effing wrong right again. She knows that I didn't have the ballz to call on her invite. Don't know why I did that. I could sense, she wanted me to come, she wanted me to make my move. Call me whatever you want, I’m that and worse. Now, tell me how to get my ballz back too and what to do to redeem myself after such a effup. Or is this over?

[Divasu]

Or is this over?

 

Is what over? You haven't even been on a date together.

[Gu_Ga]

Is what over? You haven't even been on a date together.

 

Good point. Let me rephrase that "what are my chances of taking this to the next level after I blew her off?"

 

what steps do I take to get this back on a right track? I think I'm overthinking it but don't want this to turn into awkward when I see her next. Do I just say that I made a bad call on Friday and then just keep on being the same as if nothing happened? Or don't apologize or mention Friday at all, keep on being the same? Do I initiate contact or wait for her to reach out to me?

[Divasu]

Good point. Let me rephrase that "what are my chances of taking this to the next level after I blew her off?"

 

what steps do I take to get this back on a right track? I think I'm overthinking it but don't want this to turn into awkward when I see her next. Do I just say that I made a bad call on Friday and then just keep on being the same as if nothing happened? Or don't apologize or mention Friday at all, keep on being the same? Do I initiate contact or wait for her to reach out to me?

 

Did you blow her off on purpose? If yes, than yeah you should apologize and be straight with her why you did that.

 

If not, then just tell her you wished you could have been there and would like to make it up to her. And then do so.

[HoneyBadgerDontCare]

Your problem is that you need to relax or you might screw up again.

 

This is true. I used to not relax and I screwed up often.

 

Now I relax and I screw up infrequently.

[Gu_Ga]

Did you blow her off on purpose? If yes, than yeah you should apologize and be straight with her why you did that.

 

If not, then just tell her you wished you could have been there and would like to make it up to her. And then do so.

 

I thought about why I did that and it wasn't intentional. In fact, this was more of a knee jerk reaction to her coworker hinting that I'm trying to get in her pants that night. Everybody knows us as friends but don't know that we are actually have been flirting a lot lately. So, at that time I felt that if I take her invite this would lead to unnecessary gossip and make things more difficult for us. Knee jerk reaction or rather overreaction that I'm regretting now.

 

I guess I could tell her that I regret I missed out on her party and would like to make it up to her (whatever that means). And I probably should be ready for rejection retaliation in case she wants to even the score. She has been playing hard to get in the past. That's why I feel like I missed the opportunity when she was on high and ready for next steps.

 

This last two days overthinking messed me up. I never was like this. Not knowing what to do. Well, I guess if she still interested in me, she will come around and we will pick things up right from before when I said no to her.

[Divasu]

I thought about why I did that and it wasn't intentional. In fact, this was more of a knee jerk reaction to her coworker hinting that I'm trying to get in her pants that night. Everybody knows us as friends but don't know that we are actually have been flirting a lot lately. So, at that time I felt that if I take her invite this would lead to unnecessary gossip and make things more difficult for us. Knee jerk reaction or rather overreaction that I'm regretting now.

 

I guess I could tell her that I regret I missed out on her party and would like to make it up to her (whatever that means). And I probably should be ready for rejection retaliation in case she wants to even the score. She has been playing hard to get in the past. That's why I feel like I missed the opportunity when she was on high and ready for next steps.

 

This last two days overthinking messed me up. I never was like this. Not knowing what to do. Well, I guess if she still interested in me, she will come around and we will pick things up right from before when I said no to her.

 

Sounds pretty innocuous, given it's a workplace environment. I don't see why there should be any retaliation on her part to 'even the score' You two have been flirting with each other up to this point, it sounds like.

[Gu_Ga]

Sounds pretty innocuous, given it's a workplace environment. I don't see why there should be any retaliation on her part to 'even the score' You two have been flirting with each other up to this point, it sounds like.

 

retaliation not in a bad way. for example, hey, let me make it up to you and take you out for drinks next friday. and she might go, oh thank you, maybe some other time.

 

I don't know. We'll see I guess. She is hot and I like her a lot.

[Divasu]

retaliation not in a bad way. for example, hey, let me make it up to you and take you out for drinks next friday. and she might go, oh thank you, maybe some other time.

 

I don't know. We'll see I guess. She is hot and I like her a lot.

 

I think you're over thinking it. If she's 'hot', just picture her on the toilet making a doodie or something.