More ways NOT to act on dates....

[Estate]

So in my (seemingly) pointless quest to highlight some things to the good folks of LS about how to appear more attractive to the opposite sex (mainly the guys constantly bemoaning their dating lives), here is another experience from a date this weekend.

 

Talking yourself DOWN.

 

Just don't do it!

 

When people are in a funk, they often just have a slightly negative view of the world and often don't actually see how it comes across to others.

It can be simple things... like when you start a conversation it immediately turns to some negative topic in the news.

Or when a waitress messes up an order, instead of just smiling and saying "That's ok...", they roll their eyes and tell you what an idiot their server was.

 

It's incredibly simple but it presents such a different personality. Always talk positive!

 

So I was out with a pretty cute girl and thought she was nice... but everything she said just started very negatively.

She told me how she didn't really like her new job.

Ok, I thought, what else drives her? She said she was in college but that she felt it was a waste of time, she no longer wants to persue a career in the course she is about to graduate from.

Well... ok, I think... that can happen...

 

So I begin to just ask questions to find out more about her, who she is, what she likes. I try to ask what she'd REALLY like to do... like, if there were no obsticles, what has she always wanted to do, or what would she like to do but never been able to?

 

Her answer....

 

"Nothing".

 

Nothing? I ask...?

Well... she continued... there's nothing I really ever was interested in. There's nothing I'd wake up tomorrow and be really happy doing, I can't think of anything anyway. I wish I had something I was really into but, no,not really...

 

And right there is when the date was over for me.

 

I mean, what am I to do with that answer? She's a nice girl, very pretty but lets say I decided to take this further... so she feels she is in a dead end job that she doesn't want to be in and moans about...

She has no interest in persuing a course in any areas she has any interests in.

She has no drive to look for another job because she is not interested in anything.

And overall... she just is NOT INTERESTED IN ANYTHING!?!?!?

 

I mean, where does this relationship go? We date, she'll constantly be down about her job, she'll constantly tell me, support her all I can, there's nothing she wants to do that she might like to ever change her situation and do something that makes her happy.

 

Where does it all go? Why should I want to persue that? I just really don't.

 

So ladies and gentlemen of LS....

I'm sure I'll get responces telling me I'm an aweful person for the above but really... when there are 3+billion women on this planet, successful, driven, well educated, beautiful... women who go after and achieve the things they want in life and have great lives going for themselves outside of any relationship....

... why present such a negative view on things?

 

Really it was just a conversation starter, find out what she likes, what would make her talk for hours about what she really loves... but nothing, zip, nada... the conversation died right there....

 

Why be negative! Put your best foot forward! Be positive!

[stephgabriele]

You're not an awful person at all! This actually hit the spot for me because I USED to be that girl. Stuck in a dead end job, I'd answer "I'm not sure" with everything. I wouldn't bitch and moan like a lot of women did but I wouldn't talk. I'd just be so indecisively depressed and drowning in it, if that makes any sense, haha.

 

I don't know what caused me to snap out of it all of a sudden. I think it may have been all of my failed relationships. I definitely snapped out of it though. I am still stuck in my dead end retail job but I don't choose to let it suck my soul. I look at it in a positive light like the fact that I can handle any kind of person now with grace.

 

I think once you start telling yourself life is alright and you don't settle with an "I don't know" to every question you finally start growing and wanting to move toward new things. I literally wrote every question down that is typically asked and found an answer to them all. I try to do something new every day though and it is damn refreshing

[StanMusial]

Ironically, the girls with no interests, hobbies, passions, or discernible personality are frequently the ones that require the most entertainment. They have so little to offer yet take so much.

[Disillusioned]

Ironically, the girls with no interests, hobbies, passions, or discernible personality are frequently the ones that require the most entertainment. They have so little to offer yet take so much.

 

Agreed.

 

That's what my understanding of "shallow" means.

[Estate]

Ironically, the girls with no interests, hobbies, passions, or discernible personality are frequently the ones that require the most entertainment. They have so little to offer yet take so much.

 

Of course, but why entertain it? Guys (and sometimes girls) think its THEIR fault for not being able to make these people happy, for not being able to entertain them.

 

It's NOT! I'd rather move on to the next person.

 

Even if someone HAS a job which isn't ground breaking, you can still have a positive spin on life and come across much more interesting and appealing than just being negative and down on everything.