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GIGS, whats up

johnj69

By johnj69
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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johnj69 New Member

johnj69

Posted
Posted (edited)

Hey guys..so here's the situation.

 

Been dating this girl for 14 months, no real problems, neither of us in school, so honestly we've been hanging out, basically living together 24/7.

 

Monday night I woke up at her house, we went to her doctors appointment and I went to work at 4. around 5 she sent me a picture message saying she missed me. Our last text was around 8, she did not answer, so I sent a question mark as I was driving home after work. She texted me and said we need to talk, she wanted a break. I called her she was crying, so sorry. I was upset as well. That night I picked her up so we could talk in person. She said not to worry, she loved me so much, we were definitely not breaking up. She had trouble even leaving the car. 2 week break, maybe even 1. I waited and we had LC for the next couple days, I was very very upset it even happened. I texted her thursday night, asking for something from her house, she replied over and over with "no, I'm sick". Being weird, so I called her out and said, "well what is going on?" After a few minutes of forcing it out of her she finally said something to the tune of "If we stay together and get married we will get divorced when were older.. I don't want that, I think we should go on a break and come back together later" So I asked if we were breaking up, after much hesitation, she said we were. So I hung up on her, and she texted me a dozen times before I finally called her back, calmly telling her to figure out what she needs to figure out. She was crying hysterically. All of this was very shocking, especially after being reassured over and over again we were not in fact breaking up.

 

Two days passed, I took my time to collect myself, she texted a few times trying to make small talk, I politely asked her to stop with that as it just upset me. Anyway, Sunday morning I texted her saying "I understand your decision, we both need time to grow and figure things out, give me a call when you're ready to let me back in your life, if it's meant to be, it;s meant to be" We left on good terms. I had closure. Three hours later..she texts me saying "Hey" and then "I know you don't want to talk to me" and then "Do you work tonight" I kept answers short, saying "No" and when she asked me what I was doing that day, I didn't answer for a couple minutes and she shot a "Ya that fine just read it and don't answer". I just said I was "Hanging out" and she said ok and I left it at that. It was that text that ruined my closure and I'm just a wreck right now, constantly wondering if she's missing me. I've started NC and i'm waiting for her to get back to me if she's ever ready.

 

Too add fire to all of this I'm very close with her family and her mom told me today that her dad told her that "I was too good of a guy to just let walk away" And that made her very upset and she was crying about it.

 

WHAT AM I TO THINK OF ALL THIS.

 

(Thanks) I'm sure this is longer than even I know

 

Edit:we're both 18 She's been so back and forth, from saying that she still loves me and I'm her best friend, to saying that "maybe one day she'll love me again"

Edited by johnj69
aisuru Established Member

aisuru

Posted
Posted

Only because I was 18 and did the same things she's doing, that I'm going to be hard core here.

 

She doesn't want to be with you, but she wants to know that you want to be with her. There is probably a part of her that does still want to be with you. But she knows she doesn't. So she's manipulating you at this point. Out of fear, out of loneliness, out of whatever angst teenage girls feel these days. It's pretty typical. And hard.

 

Do not speak with her. Do not speak with her family or her friends.

 

Start to take care of you and move on. Surround yourself with things to occupy your time and your family and your friends.

 

Trust me, you will survive this heartbreak. In fact, you'll likely survive several heartbreaks in your lifetime. And you will be a better man for it.

 

But please, do not allow her to manipulate you like this. Because that is exactly what she's doing. This is about her, NOT YOU.

 

She's holding power over you and it's not worth playing this game with her.

 

Delete her information, go no contact, and move on. STAT.

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