CrSm Posted September 24, 2004 Posted September 24, 2004 My boyfriend and I were together for 3 years and 3 months...We moved into this house a little over a year ago...On Saturday we had an arguement over something STUPID...Says he is going to his mom's because he is mad and will be back later...I don't see him until Sunday Sunday he comes home and says he is moving out....That I'm a bitch...The only time I was a bitch was when he wouldn't help me around the house or give me an attitude about it...I get upset blah blah blah...I leave for a while to get out and go see family...I come home he is packing his stuff.....He is gone Sunday night by 9...I'm left here sitting crying my eyes out with the dog... Tuesday he comes over and I help him pack more stuff while trying to keep a straight face...He gets ready to leave and I ask him for a hug....He says he is sorry that everything ended so crappy & I say I'm sorry also...He gets in his truck and waves bye.... Wed. he comes over to "talk" with me....He says he is jumping from relationship to relationship and just needs to be on his own....Finally tells me that he broke up with an ex only about a month and 1/2 before he met me...I ask are you not over her? He says yes I am...I say why did you drag me through this relationship he says because I thought I could make it work....He hates to be the ****head that breaks my heart but he just needs to be on his own...He also said that we always have something to argue about (I don't see that as true) and that we butt heads....I thought everyone butts heads every now and again.... It is now Thursday night and I'm still sitting here in this house thinking about him on the verge of crying again....I no longer want to stay in this house without him.....I find myself hoping he called while I was in the shower or at the store....I find myself hoping he is here when I come home....I almost find myself waiting for him to come home from work...He told me he would never see me again....It ended with him leaving saying he is sorry and me watching him drive away crying my eyes out.... I am almost crying while writing this....My dog is sitting here with me...I just don't know what to do with myself....I am so lonely without him....He is coming for the rest of his stuff tomorrow (Friday).....I just don't know how to get over this....I can't stop moping around and crying...
aFighter Posted September 24, 2004 Posted September 24, 2004 That's cold of him Try not to cry infront of him though, this only gives him power over you I know how that sounds but trust me, later on you'll be glad you didn't fall into an emotional heap at his feet. There's nothing you can do to make him stay if he has made up his mind to go. Only don't let him play you. When he gets the last of his stuff tomorrow initiate No Contact immediatly. Now the NC thing is the worst but it is vital to your healing process. You will not heal if he's constantly popping in and out of your life. Once he's gone that's it, no more talk. What's done is done. you can only keep it together and carry on as best you can. If you feel you have to move then that could be a good thing too. a new place and a new start. If I was in your place I wouldn't give out my new address or phone # to the dumper. This is the end of of one thing and the start of another. You'll feel lonly and soooooo desperatly want to hear their voice or even catch a glimpse of them or something but don't. It will only reopen the wounds and delay your healing. From now on it's just you & your loyal pet [at least the dog won't run away, right ] but seriously it does seem like the world is falling apart right now but it will get better over time. The next month is going to be a hell of loneliness and hurt but you WILL get better, trust me.
backspn Posted September 24, 2004 Posted September 24, 2004 Did his mother like you? I ask this cause mothers can have a HUGE influence on their sons.
Author CrSm Posted September 24, 2004 Author Posted September 24, 2004 Thanks for your post it made me feel better...You are right I will feel better but it is a matter of time....I am only 21...He is 26...People grow apart and change all of the time...I guess thats what happened with us....Our s*x life had a lot to do with it for numerous reasons.....I think that is one of the number of reasons we broke up....I feel that it would have happened eventually....I also feel it is for the best but its just hard to accept.... I am going to do the NC thing...Out of sight hopefully out of mind....Although, he works with my dad...I usually stop by and say hello to them if I am passing....That will just have to stop.....I do not see him working there for long because he got an apartment so out of his way......I am going to move in with my grandmother for the time being...It will give me a chance to save some money (I have to start paying student loans shortly) and I just can't stay here without him....She also has a dog so we are trying to get them to get along so I can get in there as soon as possible.... I am going to be here tomorrow when he comes for stuff even though I think its best I'm not....I want to make sure he takes everything because once he is gone for good I don't really want to see his stuff or anything.... I just took the dog the dog for a ride...I rented a movie...I'm gonna go watch it and try to keep my mind off of things....You are right at least the dog won't run away....Its funny we got this dog together & he doesn't even seem to miss the ex....Hes my buddy....Again, thanks for your post
Author CrSm Posted September 24, 2004 Author Posted September 24, 2004 I actually got along well with his whole family...They pretty much kept their noses out of our business....Saturday night when he didn't come home he was out at the bar with his brother and sister...Although, I also got along with them it seems that every time he was out with them he came home with a different attitude.
backspn Posted September 24, 2004 Posted September 24, 2004 Take this into your next relationship. You have to realize that some men dont like women who are always on their cases and some men do. I am not one of those men but I dont like pushovers either....I've had both so I know. Be sure that you dont try to change his mind or try to push your idea over his. I dont know if this is what you did or why he left....Im just letting you know what alot of men dont like this in women. Strong willed, yes. Possessive, no. And no....not all couples but heads. It is give and take but never butting headsGive the NC some time.....it probably wont last for more than a month but if it does then after a month then just text him or call him to say hi and to see how the family is doing. Keep your head up and move onward and upward.
Recommended Posts