mtnbiker3000 Posted May 5, 2013 Posted May 5, 2013 That about sums it up. Nothing to do. No one to hang out with. Miss getting texts throughout the day. Now nothing... I think getting through my BU would be so much more manageable if I just had more resources to draw upon. Weekends are really tough. Rant over... 1
youngnlove89 Posted May 5, 2013 Posted May 5, 2013 Gosh, do I ever know how you feel. My heart is in a constant ache this weekend. It sucks. Always wondering what he is doing, where he is at, if he is thinking about me...if he's moving on...etc. I have this lonely gut feeling that just weakens me. I can't get out of bed, I can't sit up straight, my eyes keep wondering off as I'm trying to watch my movie, my legs keep shaking and I can't sit still. I'm not hungry, I'm not satisfied, I'm hurt and I keep asking when is it going to stop. I've lost myself and I'm starting to forget what it was like to be normal, to be happy.
OzHeartache Posted May 5, 2013 Posted May 5, 2013 me 3! Being 38, all my mates are married so weekends are tough especially when I know it was the times we would be together and doing stuff...... gets very hard to "keep busy" constantly (and not to mention it's tiring both physically and mentally)
shiver23 Posted May 5, 2013 Posted May 5, 2013 Too bad all of us lonely single LS members couldn't date each other. lol. I definitely am suffering today, even when it's gorgeous outside...*sigh* Trying to convince myself OLD might help, but all I can think of is heartbreak today.
blrbkr85 Posted May 6, 2013 Posted May 6, 2013 7 days after my breakup, I forced myself on my friends...I had to get out of my place. I bought some steaks, a bottle of wine and asked a buddy if I could come over and chill for a few hours. It helped immensely. Each day gets better. It has been 14 days now. I finally can sleep more than 5 hours and eat a decent meal. Hang in there. You never know how close your friends are until you ask....even if they are married. 2
Justme2001 Posted May 6, 2013 Posted May 6, 2013 Add another one to this lonely group! Everything was just so much simpler when I was with her. Now it's definitely harder to find the joy in certain things now that she is gone. Never knew how much I would rely on someone else in order to be happy, until it was gone! I'm sure somehow, some way, we will all find that again! Just might not be as quickly as we want it to be! 1
cavalier99 Posted May 6, 2013 Posted May 6, 2013 Just give it anothe 6 months of NC and you guys will be over it and happy. Woo hooo! All the suffering is steeling you! It is hard earned emotional and spiritual gowth! Enjoy it! In a weird way i almost miss some of the misery. It had become my friend. How f*ck up is that! Rock on! Cav 3
youngnlove89 Posted May 6, 2013 Posted May 6, 2013 Just give it anothe 6 months of NC and you guys will be over it and happy. Woo hooo! All the suffering is steeling you! It is hard earned emotional and spiritual gowth! Enjoy it! In a weird way i almost miss some of the misery. It had become my friend. How f*ck up is that! Rock on! Cav I hope it only takes 6 months!! I'd do anything to know that I will get over this!! Like they say, it just hurts sooo good... 1
Compromize Posted May 6, 2013 Posted May 6, 2013 And another one to the mix! My kids help a great deal though and so does the sunshine but I miss getting the texts and I shamelessly admit I miss getting the naughty stuff we would send each other and I miss her hair and the way it would feel and feel on me. It's going to be strange not to have this ache all the time and I can still vaguely remember the mind-blowingly wonderful feelings of being in love and absolutely happy. Someday maybe I will feel that again and if it does ever happen I am going to be the most fu@king appreciative man in the world! I have met some new friends and they are helping me stay occupied somewhat and they think I should get out there and date but I am still holding a torch for her so don't think I am ready for that. There are so many of us too bad we couldn't have an LS party! 2
cavalier99 Posted May 6, 2013 Posted May 6, 2013 (edited) I hope it only takes 6 months!! I'd do anything to know that I will get over this!! Like they say, it just hurts sooo good... It like the law of physics or something. It is almost impossible not to get over it with pure NC. There is no additional stimuli for you brain to process and it all just gets purged. You brain eventually just gives up spinning the same stuff. AS LONG AS YOU DONT FILL IT WITH ANY NEW STUFF THRU CONTACT! I dont think people REALLY REALLY understand why they need to go NC AND block. You need to be sorta fanatical about it if you want to minimise the recovery time. Cav Edited May 6, 2013 by cavalier99 2
Author mtnbiker3000 Posted May 6, 2013 Author Posted May 6, 2013 Just give it anothe 6 months of NC and you guys will be over it and happy. Woo hooo! All the suffering is steeling you! It is hard earned emotional and spiritual gowth! Enjoy it! In a weird way i almost miss some of the misery. It had become my friend. How f*ck up is that! Rock on! Cav Well, I am at 50 days right now. Really more, but we were still living together for a month after the BU, so I don't count those 30... I'm sure at 6 months and I will be fine. It's just getting there that sucks. As I mentioned, I think it would be soooo much easier with a strong support network around me. But, I'm in a new (and small) town and just don't have that network here. Very boring and lonely at this point. Minutes seem like hours. Days, like weeks. Sucks. Sucks indeed!!!
youngnlove89 Posted May 6, 2013 Posted May 6, 2013 It like the law of physics or something. It is almost impossible not to get over it with pure NC. There is no additional stimuli for you brain to process and it all just gets purged. You brain eventually just gives up spinning the same stuff. AS LONG AS YOU DONT FILL IT WITH ANY NEW STUFF THRU CONTACT! I dont think people REALLT REALLY understand why they need to go NC AND block. Cav I don't understand it, I'll be the first to admit. My prior breakups, I never went NC, I just got over it eventually. I don't really remember the pain now that I look back on it. But this one is different, I'm so messed up. I just wish things were different. My ego hurts most of all. I feel like I wasn't good enough and that he will find someone else better than me. That just sucks!
cavalier99 Posted May 6, 2013 Posted May 6, 2013 I don't understand it, I'll be the first to admit. My prior breakups, I never went NC, I just got over it eventually. I don't really remember the pain now that I look back on it. But this one is different, I'm so messed up. I just wish things were different. My ego hurts most of all. I feel like I wasn't good enough and that he will find someone else better than me. That just sucks! Most of us that end up here on LS are totally f*cked up by the BU. I sure was. That is why NC needs to be your religion for this BU. It was mine and it worked. I also didnt need it for my other BUs. This one was sooo heart wrenching i was left with no other option. Cav 1
OzHeartache Posted May 6, 2013 Posted May 6, 2013 I don't understand it, I'll be the first to admit. My prior breakups, I never went NC, I just got over it eventually. I don't really remember the pain now that I look back on it. But this one is different, I'm so messed up. I just wish things were different. My ego hurts most of all. I feel like I wasn't good enough and that he will find someone else better than me. That just sucks! Im struggling with this too Younglove, Why wasn't I good enough, Didn't I show you that I loved you etc etc....I know I need to lift my self esteem and know that I WAS good enough......just so damn hard to drag yourself up when your feeling so lonely and you miss them, you miss what you had..... need to accept its done (I am giving her space but it never turns out well I know so I'm treating it like its done for my own sanity) 1
soccerrprp Posted May 6, 2013 Posted May 6, 2013 In a weird way i almost miss some of the misery. It had become my friend. How f*ck up is that! Rock on! Cav Bite your tongue! What are you saying, man!? I went through this very thing with an ex. Drama, more drama, more and more drama and I seemed to relish it....I was in another world, totally taking in the drama thinking it would be okay. Well, she's gone and I am free!!!!!!!!!! But, I get you. I felt the same way for a bit until I met someone else. I'm single now and trying to enjoy this new era w/o having to feel obligated to give someone else the attention and time that I really didn't and don't have. But, it can be a little lonely at times. I, thank goodness, have my kiddos to keep me on my toes.
cavalier99 Posted May 6, 2013 Posted May 6, 2013 (edited) Bite your tongue! What are you saying, man!? I went through this very thing with an ex. Drama, more drama, more and more drama and I seemed to relish it....I was in another world, totally taking in the drama thinking it would be okay. Well, she's gone and I am free!!!!!!!!!! But, I get you. I felt the same way for a bit until I met someone else. I'm single now and trying to enjoy this new era w/o having to feel obligated to give someone else the attention and time that I really didn't and don't have. But, it can be a little lonely at times. I, thank goodness, have my kiddos to keep me on my toes. Hahaha. Well i am much happier now, in a new RS, and NO i dont want to go back to the misery. Its just that feeling like i won a huge protracted war. Victory is mine! ..but ocasionally ill reminise (dare i say fondly?) about being in the trenches with you guys. Lol Cav Glad your doing well. Something will come along eventually. Probably sooner that later. Enjoy being single while it lasts! Edited May 6, 2013 by cavalier99 1
LoveB86 Posted May 6, 2013 Posted May 6, 2013 I am absolutely miserable. 1 month in and just when I thought it was getting better, nope, it just threw me back!! Just obsessively thinking what the newly couple is doing today? Their probably in bed together watching the walking dead. I find it hilarious on what he might be doing with her is the same he did with me. Just a "brand new" person in his life.. ::shakes head::
Author mtnbiker3000 Posted May 6, 2013 Author Posted May 6, 2013 Im struggling with this too Younglove, Why wasn't I good enough, Didn't I show you that I loved you etc etc....I know I need to lift my self esteem and know that I WAS good enough......just so damn hard to drag yourself up when your feeling so lonely and you miss them, you miss what you had..... need to accept its done (I am giving her space but it never turns out well I know so I'm treating it like its done for my own sanity) Yup. Rejection is a hard pill to swallow! It's like they're saying, "Thanks, but I'll pass..." Ouch!!! I struggle with this constantly! I guess you have to know that just because the ex doesn't want us, there is someone who will... Just hard to convince myself 2
OzHeartache Posted May 6, 2013 Posted May 6, 2013 Yup. Rejection is a hard pill to swallow! It's like they're saying, "Thanks, but I'll pass Exactly ! I know I've learnt finally (as this seems to always be the case with me) that I gave her too much of myself, I invested everything I had in "Us", Now that she is pretty much gone............im left with "nothing" That's why I'm struggling so much I think, need to make sure this doesn't happen with the next one, Not give everything and hold some of me back for Me!!
DDS Posted May 6, 2013 Posted May 6, 2013 I feel the same way, I have never wished for the weekend to be over and work to begin before. But weekends are horrible, all my friends are married. I sit and cry all weekend, my son was gone this weekend so it was really bad. I also know he is living with someone else so I am constantly thinking about what they are doing together, where they are... it's horrible. I cant even do the no contact because he has done it for me. I wish he was trying to call me and I could ignore him just to make myself feel better.
Author mtnbiker3000 Posted May 6, 2013 Author Posted May 6, 2013 Exactly ! I know I've learnt finally (as this seems to always be the case with me) that I gave her too much of myself, I invested everything I had in "Us", Now that she is pretty much gone............im left with "nothing" That's why I'm struggling so much I think, need to make sure this doesn't happen with the next one, Not give everything and hold some of me back for Me!! Ha! You must have read some of my previous posts, cuz that is EXACTLY what I have been saying too Sucks that is what we are left with, but I have to agree that it is necessary. One needs to retain some mystery. Some question. Some doubt. Don't put yourself all out there. If ya do, you you lose your abilty to be a 'challenge'... 1
Author mtnbiker3000 Posted May 6, 2013 Author Posted May 6, 2013 I feel the same way, I have never wished for the weekend to be over and work to begin before. But weekends are horrible, all my friends are married. I sit and cry all weekend, my son was gone this weekend so it was really bad. I also know he is living with someone else so I am constantly thinking about what they are doing together, where they are... it's horrible. I cant even do the no contact because he has done it for me. I wish he was trying to call me and I could ignore him just to make myself feel better. Better this way! You don't want breadcrumbs!! You really don't!!! 1
DDS Posted May 6, 2013 Posted May 6, 2013 I know NC is better, but deep down I just wish he would regret what he has done, realize she is not the girl for him and call me and we can work it out, but I feel if he ever did call I cant ignore him because then I wouldn't ever be able to try and get him back. sounds so desperate, but I really love him and we had something I never thought possible
Author mtnbiker3000 Posted May 6, 2013 Author Posted May 6, 2013 I know NC is better, but deep down I just wish he would regret what he has done, realize she is not the girl for him and call me and we can work it out, but I feel if he ever did call I cant ignore him because then I wouldn't ever be able to try and get him back. sounds so desperate, but I really love him and we had something I never thought possible This may sound harsh, but, we all thought we had something so special. I know I did. I propsed to my ex and thought we would be together for ever. Why would you want to take someone back who gave up on you and your RS? If he was so special, he would fight for you and the RS. Do you really want to be with someone who considers you a second choice? No you don't
DDS Posted May 6, 2013 Posted May 6, 2013 mthbiker3000... thank you I needed to hear that! Needed a reality check.
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