targaryen Posted May 5, 2013 Posted May 5, 2013 100 days since we spoke last today. Writing this through tears. Went to watch a play which ended with Pet Gabriel's Book of Love playing ( ) ...the song she told me to listen to because it represented our love once...As soon as I heard it it just broke me. All the repressed emotions I've built due to the finality of it all (even breaking NC from my side didn't lead her to break it) ..the fact that she left me ...they all came rushing back (or maybe they never left). I'm just a mess. I don't know what else to do. Working, travelling,going out with friends. None of it works. I'm cynical and bitter and I hate that I'm still like this. And the worst part is that I will never open up again to be hurt like this. I will never allow someone else to do this to me. I'd rather be alone. Just had to rant..apart from my twice-monthly therapist this my only outlet
Lich1 Posted May 6, 2013 Posted May 6, 2013 100 days since we spoke last today. Writing this through tears. Went to watch a play which ended with Pet Gabriel's Book of Love playing ( ) ...the song she told me to listen to because it represented our love once...As soon as I heard it it just broke me. All the repressed emotions I've built due to the finality of it all (even breaking NC from my side didn't lead her to break it) ..the fact that she left me ...they all came rushing back (or maybe they never left). I'm just a mess. I don't know what else to do. Working, travelling,going out with friends. None of it works. I'm cynical and bitter and I hate that I'm still like this. And the worst part is that I will never open up again to be hurt like this. I will never allow someone else to do this to me. I'd rather be alone. Just had to rant..apart from my twice-monthly therapist this my only outletI don't think I observed my 100-day mark, but I definitely remember how I felt a few months after, and yes, I also heard our song (we were going to play it at our wedding). From "I'm just a mess" to the end of your post, I could have written those words, word-for-word. I honestly thought I was going to die, not by my own hand, just from how I was feeling. Dwelling on it, wallowing in it, that's a dangerous road. I would suggest a new hobby. Do something you never did before or that you won't mentally associate with her. Focus on work or school, depending on where you are in life. Make new friends (don't drop the old ones, just get a few new ones). "Fake it till you make it" sounds impossible, but eventually you'll forget that you're faking it. Consider this a message from your future self. Maybe it'll help.
Larry Walker Posted May 6, 2013 Posted May 6, 2013 You need a new woman to take your mind off the old one. Do you have good game? How hard is it for you to find a new woman?
Author targaryen Posted May 6, 2013 Author Posted May 6, 2013 I suck at picking up women. No action since the break up
Larry Walker Posted May 6, 2013 Posted May 6, 2013 I suck at picking up women. No action since the break up Start working on your pickup skills. Sitting around moping is not going to help anything.
cavalier99 Posted May 6, 2013 Posted May 6, 2013 Seems normal to me. youll be fine. I went thru the same thing. Just stay NC. This is all temporary. Cav
Smokemirrors Posted May 6, 2013 Posted May 6, 2013 100 days since we spoke last today. Writing this through tears. Went to watch a play which ended with Pet Gabriel's Book of Love playing ( ) ...the song she told me to listen to because it represented our love once...As soon as I heard it it just broke me. All the repressed emotions I've built due to the finality of it all (even breaking NC from my side didn't lead her to break it) ..the fact that she left me ...they all came rushing back (or maybe they never left). I'm just a mess. I don't know what else to do. Working, travelling,going out with friends. None of it works. I'm cynical and bitter and I hate that I'm still like this. And the worst part is that I will never open up again to be hurt like this. I will never allow someone else to do this to me. I'd rather be alone. Just had to rant..apart from my twice-monthly therapist this my only outlet WHY: Defensive, weak, past HOW: Better, growth, contentment, present WHEN: Now
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