Seductive Posted May 5, 2013 Posted May 5, 2013 For the ladies in their 20's and early 30's, would you agree to this? Or do you foresee issues? Would you prefer to be with a man that's like you where you were never married and didn't have kids?
RedRobin Posted May 5, 2013 Posted May 5, 2013 For the ladies in their 20's and early 30's, would you agree to this? Or do you foresee issues? Would you prefer to be with a man that's like you where you were never married and didn't have kids? Never married or not... it is best of people with kids also date those with kids... I'm currently dating a guy with a teenager. If this doesn't work out (and it probably won't considering how annoyed I am with the kid time/excuses)... it will be the last time I date a man with kids unless they are grown and out of the house. Sick of having two weekends a month devoted to nothing but kid time and all the juggling, sports, etc. People and their two-legged pets is kinda how it looks to me these days...
soccerrprp Posted May 5, 2013 Posted May 5, 2013 Never married or not... it is best of people with kids also date those with kids... I'm currently dating a guy with a teenager. If this doesn't work out (and it probably won't considering how annoyed I am with the kid time/excuses)... it will be the last time I date a man with kids unless they are grown and out of the house. Sick of having two weekends a month devoted to nothing but kid time and all the juggling, sports, etc. People and their two-legged pets is kinda how it looks to me these days... Red, Would you consider men who have sole custody?
RedRobin Posted May 5, 2013 Posted May 5, 2013 Do you plan of having kids of your own? Or do you even have kids? Don't have kids. If I had kids, I'd adopt. The world doesn't need more new ones... plus I'm kinda vain that way. Not squeezing out a kid for a guy and having my body get all messed up so that later on he can whine about my saggy this or that... or the 'fupa'... or stretch marks.. or any of that. Had my tubes tied when I was younger to prevent accidents, so it is pretty permanent.
Author Seductive Posted May 5, 2013 Author Posted May 5, 2013 Never married or not... it is best of people with kids also date those with kids... I'm currently dating a guy with a teenager. If this doesn't work out (and it probably won't considering how annoyed I am with the kid time/excuses)... it will be the last time I date a man with kids unless they are grown and out of the house. Sick of having two weekends a month devoted to nothing but kid time and all the juggling, sports, etc. People and their two-legged pets is kinda how it looks to me these days... Thanks for the response. I went on a date with a man that didn't include in his OLD profile that he had kids, so I was surprised when he told me he was divorced with a 9 and an 11 year old in another country. What comes to my mind is being a step-mom, dealing with drama from the real mom, and the statistical risk of a divorced person not having their second marriage work out. My friends and I have grown up in mixed families with step-parents and step-siblings, and it wasn't a happy ending. I'm also curious as to why this man left to another country. I personally would want to be close to my kids. I just want to see if other women have had similar experiences. Ideally, I would prefer someone with no kids to start fresh with.
RedRobin Posted May 5, 2013 Posted May 5, 2013 Red, Would you consider men who have sole custody? yes. sole custody and no ex to juggle with. If he were widowed, I'd be ok with that. More than ok because I actually do like kids and would be happy to co-parent. Without the opportunity to co-parent though, it is just one more obligation and it is unbalanced.... a situation where I'm obliged to be more accommodating than he has to be... Annoying. 1
RedRobin Posted May 5, 2013 Posted May 5, 2013 Thanks for the response. I went on a date with a man that didn't include in his OLD profile that he had kids, so I was surprised when he told me he was divorced with a 9 and an 11 year old in another country. What comes to my mind is being a step-mom, dealing with drama from the real mom, and the statistical risk of a divorced person not having their second marriage work out. My friends and I have grown up in mixed families with step-parents and step-siblings, and it wasn't a happy ending. I'm also curious as to why this man left to another country. I personally would want to be close to my kids. I just want to see if other women have had similar experiences. Ideally, I would prefer someone with no kids to start fresh with. I think the first part is what would give me pause. Kids are a major commitment. Seems odd not to mention it. On the other hand, I've also seen guys who say "my kid is my life"... and I think NEXT... those guys seem to be looking for a FWB... and pass it off as "I'm a devoted family man"... not usually the case. If they were, they'd probably still be married.
PogoStick Posted May 5, 2013 Posted May 5, 2013 It's fine to prefer someone with no kids, but you're thinking too far ahead if you're worried how it will work out when you get married. That's a lot of pressure to put on a first date!
iris219 Posted May 5, 2013 Posted May 5, 2013 (edited) I'm dating a divorced man with kids. He's really, really good about making sure I don't feel neglected. I've been impressed with how well he's been able to balance work, kids, and me without making me feel like I'm last on his list of properties. He has joint custody, so he has the kids 3-4 times a week. We see each other the other 3-4 times a week and he will ask his parents to watch them if we have specific plans (a party or concert to attend). I'm also making it more difficult right now because I refuse to meet the kids. I guess I'd prefer a man with no kids, but I prefer my BF over any other man, so it's fine. Edited May 5, 2013 by iris219
Author Seductive Posted May 5, 2013 Author Posted May 5, 2013 Pogo stick-this man jokingly mentioned marriage and how he can make all of my dreams come true. That's when I felt it was appropriate to say that it's not my preference to be a stepmom. He also kept telling me how amazing I was and how much he liked me on the first date. I had no sexual attraction to him either. He may be just looking for a fwb, who knows.
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