OwlSoul Posted May 5, 2013 Posted May 5, 2013 Did you ever notice that right after the break up everything easily makes you cry? Like if you see someone is kind for you/ just something reminding you of your partner, or someone else having the same problems you react emotionally straightaway. I just noticed a lot of people who were really active dropping out of the forum/ posting less as the time goes by. And I notice in myself some changes. I read the forum on the daily basis, but I do not feel like answering, since it is hard for me to empathy for some of the people, who seem to torture themselves.
bluecrabroll Posted May 5, 2013 Posted May 5, 2013 I wouldn't necessarily put a pattern to how people heal. Everyone heals differently and we all have our inner demons to face. I have a hard time accepting things and am well aware of my feelings. It's an internal struggle with myself because that is my personality. I actually use empathy to help me move on and listen to the advice I give to others --> Using my heart for others to tell my mind to overpower what my heart feels for my ex or practicing what you preach. Eventually I believe there is a point that coming back here is picking on the scabs. But then again the experience I get from talking to others and knowing their story are valuable lifelong lessons and it would be nice to pass it on to others.
soccerrprp Posted May 5, 2013 Posted May 5, 2013 (edited) Personally, the loss of empathy is not a healthy product of healing. In fact, to its extreme, it's not healing at all, rather, a sign of something gone wrong. Healing should involve our ability to relate and commiserate and provide comfort when we can. Sometimes it's hard, but the ability to do so shows our inner strength and "healthier" sign that we have moved on, healed and are open enough to share our experiences. Edited May 5, 2013 by soccerrprp
TearyEyedPride Posted May 5, 2013 Posted May 5, 2013 I read the forum on the daily basis, but I do not feel like answering, since it is hard for me to empathy for some of the people, who seem to torture themselves. I kinda understand what you're saying. I'm similar in being selective to what I respond to. It's not really lack of empathy for me, it's being annoyed by the OP knowing what they should do, but not wanting to face it or wanting to be convinced that a certain approach will work for them. Or trying to convince us, whom it has worked for, that it's not the proper way for them to go about doing it; yet they're asking for OUR advice. Errr... kinda bugs me lol. You can't really judge a person's process... so I try to keep that in mind. Everyone handles love, death, and addictions differently.
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