kat2038 Posted May 5, 2013 Posted May 5, 2013 My MM and I have been together over two years, we lived together for a little over 15 months. Quick background, him and his wife were having problems so about 7 years ago she opened the marriage. She has ha many lovers he has had 2 me and this other woman. His wife pushed him and I together every chance she got, yes we are all friends. She told me many times how much happier he is with me, what a great couple we make blah, blah, blah, what started out as friends with benefits for he and I developed into something more. He approached me about 2 months into the relationship that we had crossed the lines and broken all the rules. So, I allowed myself to fall in love with him. Things were rough but we managed to work through things. The MAIN reason she didn't file for divorce is because she would only get child support and not his whole check, he stays because of the kids, this weird relationship we have has worked for the most part. I love his to kids like they are my own and they were over every other weekend. He told me it wasn't going to be easy but he had decided when his daughter was 2 he was going to end the marriage when she hits 18, she is now 12. Fast forward to now, his wife inherited a boat load of money and she bought a place out int he country with 9 acres of land, he moved back in with her because she needs hims to do all this work for her and being the idiot that he is he does it......needless to say the rug was pulled out from under me, but I am getting better at least I am not crying all the time. When he left I said well guess that is the end of us, he said no, he loves me and still wants to see me. So, yesterday I said are you stil gong to come by on Sunday because I was going to make some stuff for him to take back with him when he goes back on the road, he is a truck driver, he then replies, I don't know Sally has my plans up n the air, excuse me I got ticked off all I said to him that I am sick of the mixed msgs he gives me, that so much for things getting back to use being able to see each other every other weekend. Which was how it was before we moved into together. His reply was and I quote, "This seems like a guilt trip and I am being manipulated things were fine until I (meaning me) want to play guilt trip sh** I am not in the mood to ease your ego" So, I said if he took it that it was wrong,, I am just tired of getting ixed messages from him. Now, this started because we were going to get together in two weeks to celebrate my new job, then all of a sudden she says well I dont know what is going on that weekend, excuse me? Since when does he need permission to see me? It's not she is closing the marriage she drove 4 hours last weekend to hook up with a guy in a motel, her other guy is coming to her house this upcoming week while the kids are in school, to f*** him and he is perfectly fine with this, so she is not giving up any of the 7 different men she gets together with but she is telling him well we have to see. I think I am ready to tell him to get f*****, and to get out of my life, just not quite sure how to do it ........all of our lives are very intertwined ..I need some advice how to untangle myself out of this mess.
Praying4Peace Posted May 5, 2013 Posted May 5, 2013 It sounds like they like this crazy relationship they have. Some relationships thrive on drama and jealous and the unknown. Keeps things exciting and fresh. Doubt they'd last a week if all the other people in their lives disappeared. But you can only control whether you disappear...so do it. His message to you about being manipulative was very hurtful. I think when someone shouts 'manipulative' at you it just is code for 'you aren't allowed to express your feelings'. Just think about how weird and broken he must be to want to stay in the marriage with his wife. This is what he thinks is normal! Do you want to live like this- even if you two were exclusive? Bc it doesn't seem like he's used to any restrictions on women. 1
KathyM Posted May 5, 2013 Posted May 5, 2013 Why do you allow this drama and nonsense in your life? And for what? Twice a month meetups with a guy who is using you as a side dish? Time to say goodbye to this guy who does not value you enough, and goodbye to this ridiculous drama and this screwed up family. Get yourself a real relationship with a real man. Right now, you have neither. 3
Recommended Posts