penguin4 Posted May 5, 2013 Posted May 5, 2013 (edited) Hi I am met my girlfriend 3 years ago when we were at our 1st year in college. We had a lot in common we used to spent a lot of time together and after one year we moved in together. The next two years were really difficult as it turned out that she had many issues with her family. She talked to me a lot about these matters. I wanted to help her and I started spending less time doing things that I used to. From the beginning of our relationship I was very sure about what I wanted to do after finishing college, I want to continue for a graduate programm abroad. It turned out that she was interested in doing the same so I started thinking how we could make it work. I knew that many other couples break up because they end up in different schools and I did not want that to happen to us. The problem is that due to her problems with her parents she could not focus on her studying. Every semester she does not study at all until two weeks before the exams, then she realizes that she can't get passing grades alone and asks me to help her. I helped her everytime but I think that she finds the whole situtation stressful and it seems that after every examination period we get farther apart. During this semester she started going to a phsycologist. I think that she has become a lot better since then but our relationship is worse than ever. She blaims me that I pressure her too much with her lessons and our plans for studying together. The thing is that I helped when she wanted and If she does not want to go to graduate school and do something else in her life I have no problem, I just want to find a way to be together after graduation. She tells me that she does not want to hear anything about graduate applications again and that she only wants to have a nice time in our relationship and see what happens. I don't know how to deal with that. I mean we live in the same house, we cannot move out due to our rent contract, this summer I have to take Gre exams and start sending applications. How can we stay in the same house together like that? And if we don't speak about our future it is 100% sure that we will end up in different countries...I love her very much and I have to say that she also has feelings for me...It just that she has something like an anxiety disorder when it comes to examinations. She blaims me that I think too much about the future but at the same time she makes plans about going trips together or staying in a beautiful country together...Things that would happen in 1-2 years from now...Is it too much to think about graduate applications 1 year before finishing college? What should I do? Breakup with her and live in the same house with her for a year? Stay with her and do the whole application process alone and never speak to her about it? I mean it is like staying in a relationship with an expiration day this way...How can we have a nice time when we know that in a year from now we will probably be in different continents? Sorry for my long post, I hope it makes sense. You can ask for more details if you want... Thanks in advance for your replies. Edited May 5, 2013 by penguin4
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