AnniJake Posted May 5, 2013 Posted May 5, 2013 (edited) Hi everyone I am a new member here and I had a problem. I would love to find someone can help me by a decent advice. I am 33 years old and there is a guy I am more than sure now he loves me. He is really amazingggggggggggg and any girl will be more than happy to be next to a guy like him handsome and polite and really it's honer to me to be next to him. The problem is he is younger than me in years, I can't know how much but for sure at least it's gonna be 10 - 11 years younger than me. We start our friendship at college studying like all the students. He decided to sit next to me for sure I know he likes me and that's normal I can understand usually guys like to sit next to the nice looking girl, like any girl will do the same with guys. He was my classmate, but I was direct with him from the second day. I told him I am older than him in years and I noted more than one that I am not gonna marry anyone and we are friends only and nothing MORE. I know now it's a big mistake and I had to tell him my real age, but I think it's too late. The problem people always think my age is 20 or 21 cuz I look really young, and I have no problem with my age, but I am a realistic girl, and it's not fair for both of us to have such a relationship. How can I tell him my age without hurting him, how can I tell him it's not gonna be right to be together without hurting him cuz I am older than him and he still young and had to focus on his study and life. I will do anything just not to hurt this person. I am not that person who like to hurt others. Can someone help me? Edited May 5, 2013 by AnniJake
Curious-One Posted May 5, 2013 Posted May 5, 2013 Age is just a number!!!!! But on a serious not i think what you are doing is right. My sister who is 24 married a 39 year old guy and even thoug he is really nice and i like him i just think she is stupid and not thinking streight. I mean when she is like 40 he will be 60 wtf. Has he tried to ask you out? If he does just tell him he is great but you are looking for someone your age.
Roadkill007 Posted May 5, 2013 Posted May 5, 2013 well how DO you know you're not the right person for him ? What if he doesn't care about the age difference? What if he fell for you at first sight? I don't think it's fair to either of you to not even try because of 10 years difference. Either way, it'd probably be good if he DID know your age ahead of time. If I were you, I'd try to get a serious conversation with him to set up the "age bomb" and gauge his reaction. Do it straight and don't be too surprised if he doesn't care that you're 33. If he is surprised, maybe it wasn't worth a try, but you know, both people gotta take a step forwards to start something (can't think of a related cliche atm, so that will have to do)
Author AnniJake Posted May 5, 2013 Author Posted May 5, 2013 Age is just a number!!!!! But on a serious not i think what you are doing is right. My sister who is 24 married a 39 year old guy and even thoug he is really nice and i like him i just think she is stupid and not thinking streight. I mean when she is like 40 he will be 60 wtf. Has he tried to ask you out? If he does just tell him he is great but you are looking for someone your age. I agree with you, and that what I am thinking about. I was thinking to tell him this very soon since he keep inviting me to go out with him
Author AnniJake Posted May 5, 2013 Author Posted May 5, 2013 well how DO you know you're not the right person for him ? What if he doesn't care about the age difference? What if he fell for you at first sight? I don't think it's fair to either of you to not even try because of 10 years difference. Either way, it'd probably be good if he DID know your age ahead of time. If I were you, I'd try to get a serious conversation with him to set up the "age bomb" and gauge his reaction. Do it straight and don't be too surprised if he doesn't care that you're 33. If he is surprised, maybe it wasn't worth a try, but you know, both people gotta take a step forwards to start something (can't think of a related cliche atm, so that will have to do) I am planning to do this and straight and I am gonna offer my friendship to him if he rejected it then I will respect his call. I am also afraid that if i still talk to him I am gonna be so into him, I have to say the truth I start to like him and I know this is wrong. I am a person who doesn't do wrong things. I know I did a mistake and should say my age from the beginning, but I think regret now is not gonna change this no matter what I said. I really thank you for the advice
Vogeltron Posted May 5, 2013 Posted May 5, 2013 Why are you asking the board? If you really care about this guy and want to be with him why aren't you talking to him about it? Seriously why not have an honest conversation about your relationship and where you think you both stand? I mean if you want to break up with him then do it. But if you think you really have something then you need to stop asking random people and sit down and have a serious conversation with the person you are currently with. Trying to read into details and stuff isn't going to solve anything. You need to sit down and figure out where you are, where he is. If it works if it doesn't. Why or why not and move on from their.
Author AnniJake Posted May 6, 2013 Author Posted May 6, 2013 Why are you asking the board? If you really care about this guy and want to be with him why aren't you talking to him about it? Seriously why not have an honest conversation about your relationship and where you think you both stand? I mean if you want to break up with him then do it. But if you think you really have something then you need to stop asking random people and sit down and have a serious conversation with the person you are currently with. Trying to read into details and stuff isn't going to solve anything. You need to sit down and figure out where you are, where he is. If it works if it doesn't. Why or why not and move on from their. I am planing to do that,but I just don't know how to do it without hurting him? Besides, If I don't care for him I wouldn't bother my self asking, believe or not I am a very reasonable person, but now I feel like I have no idea what to do. and sure I start to like him, but you are asking me to have a serious conversation with a guy he might be 21 years old. I just don't wanna hurt him that's all and I have no idea how to do it REALLY
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