Pompeii Posted May 5, 2013 Posted May 5, 2013 Over the past couple of weeks, I have been studying "attractive behaviors" for men towards women. After much research, I have concluded that the summary of attractive behaviors for men indicates demonstrating some form of or derivative of status. If you are more invested in her emotionally that she is invested in you, you lose. If you are treated as a water boy within your social circle and she observes it, you lose. If her friends don't see you as valuable, you lose. While these are not hard and fast rules, they are pretty much generalities. In most cases, I have seen that women do not date men who they perceive to be lower than them in status whether real or imagined. This is why nerds, geeks, and generally eccentric people are usually perpetually dateless, even by girls within their own circles because they are perceived to be low status and do not display attractive behaviors. I consider myself a middle of the road guy. I'm not a BMOC, but I'm not an unknown either. Still, it doesn't seem to be enough. I'm not considered the leader or head honcho of my group by any means. Still, that doesn't prevent my friends from getting laid. Even though status is important, it is only one part of what I believe to be the secret to female attraction. Confidence is not part of the attraction quotient, as I believe it is pretty much foolhardy. Confidence cannot come without prior successes. "Fake it till you make it" is a way around this for some, but not all are adept at lying or putting up false personas. Does anyone know the other pieces to female attraction, so I can continue to construct this theory further.
Sith Apprentice Posted May 5, 2013 Posted May 5, 2013 Face, body, height, hair line, money, fame, game.
Author Pompeii Posted May 5, 2013 Author Posted May 5, 2013 Face, body, height, hair line, money, fame, game. Well, I don't exactly believe this. No doubt looks help you get into the door for sure but that doesn't explain all of the fat, balding, and poor guys with girlfriends or girls into them. 1
SJC2008 Posted May 5, 2013 Posted May 5, 2013 I've come accross you can't be more invested than her a lot and I hate that. I really hope it's not true.
KathyM Posted May 5, 2013 Posted May 5, 2013 Face, body, attractive personality, interesting hobbies, intelligence, fun to be around and spend time with, good career, good character, charismatic, social skills. Not necessarily in that order. The order of importance will vary among women, but this is basically what attracts them. Pretty straight-forward, no mystery really. 1
ThaWholigan Posted May 5, 2013 Posted May 5, 2013 I've come accross you can't be more invested than her a lot and I hate that. I really hope it's not true. It's not true with every girl. Depends on the circles you run in. ------------------------------------------------------------ The thing about female attraction that I have personally noted to myself is that there isn't really a secret. Nothing works on all women, and some things that you do won't work for you because it isn't you. Although there are those who can reinvent themselves in a certain capacity. With you, I suspect that you come across as neutral, which isn't bad but isn't good either. I would try to find out what is attractive about you potentially and nurture it. I did this by using astrology funnily enough - it helped me a bit . If I were you, I would make it a side-quest to find out more about yourself in this light. 4
KathyM Posted May 5, 2013 Posted May 5, 2013 what about owning a car? i'm in a medium size city and i don't have a car. i ride the bus to work and to the grocery store. The importance of owning a car depends on what country you live in. If you live in the U.S., for the most part, you need to have a car, or a woman is not going to be interested.
apple OR orange Posted May 5, 2013 Posted May 5, 2013 they like an alpha male, there the whole threads done... 1
KathyM Posted May 5, 2013 Posted May 5, 2013 they like an alpha male, there the whole threads done... That's just one quality that some women find attractive. Some women prefer beta males because they are easier to get along with.
USMCHokie Posted May 5, 2013 Posted May 5, 2013 That's just one quality that some women find attractive. Some women prefer beta males because they are easier to get along with. And they tend to be more willing providers and supplicants...
Author Pompeii Posted May 5, 2013 Author Posted May 5, 2013 It's not true with every girl. Depends on the circles you run in. ------------------------------------------------------------ The thing about female attraction that I have personally noted to myself is that there isn't really a secret. Nothing works on all women, and some things that you do won't work for you because it isn't you. Although there are those who can reinvent themselves in a certain capacity. With you, I suspect that you come across as neutral, which isn't bad but isn't good either. I would try to find out what is attractive about you potentially and nurture it. I did this by using astrology funnily enough - it helped me a bit . If I were you, I would make it a side-quest to find out more about yourself in this light. Well, if you're going to bring astrology into this, I'm a Scorpio. Interestingly, it's the sign that supposedly is supposed to be the most attractive to those of the opposite sex and the most charismatic. I am neither of those, which is one of the reasons why I believe astrology for the most part - is balderdash. Anyway, I guess I come across as neutral. Girls don't really scream out my name at parties like they do for some other guys nor do they really seem ultra excited to see me. I guess I'm just a dull person. I was reading another thread where it said your core personality is set in stone when you are 5 or so. I was a relatively tame child when I was younger and I've always felt like the oddball or the odd one out in terms of social interactions.
KathyM Posted May 5, 2013 Posted May 5, 2013 Depends on the woman. A woman who doesn't drive might not expect a guy to drive. Why drive in a big city like NYC? True. NYC is the exception. The rest of America, a car is a must for a man. Taking a woman on dates on the bus in the U.S. is not going to go over very well for the vast majority of women.
Author Pompeii Posted May 5, 2013 Author Posted May 5, 2013 That's just one quality that some women find attractive. Some women prefer beta males because they are easier to get along with. Alpha/beta to me is too simplistic and seems too much like the PUA stuff that is peddled like defective computer gadgets on the internet.
KathyM Posted May 5, 2013 Posted May 5, 2013 what about other cities big on public transportation? its not just new york city. there's half a dozen cities where public transportation gets you anywhere in the city and more where it gets you to most of the city. even my city of a few hundred thousand has a good bus system. I can't think of any other place in America, other than NYC, where a car is not important in a man's dating life. You may be able to get around through public transportation, but not having a car will likely negatively affect your dating life.
KathyM Posted May 5, 2013 Posted May 5, 2013 you can get about everywhere in boston, philly, chicago, san francisco, washinton dc for instance. i don't like these cities much but they have excelent public transportation. if you live in these cities who would it hurt not to have a car? are you in one of em? I'm in Los Angeles. Of course, it's possible to go on a date using public transportation, it just won't go over very well with most women, and most would probably turn you down if you suggested taking the bus.
Roadkill007 Posted May 5, 2013 Posted May 5, 2013 I'm in Los Angeles. Of course, it's possible to go on a date using public transportation, it just won't go over very well with most women, and most would probably turn you down if you suggested taking the bus. I've seen a couple of couples using the bus and they seem to be just fine. What you really don't want to use is the train in the early morning..... ugh, I can't scrub my eyes enough
dreamsgone Posted May 5, 2013 Posted May 5, 2013 Its not the status women are attracted to its the mans ability to shelter and protect them. You are right you can't seem more invested in her than she to you simply because it makes you look weak and that she will have to shoulder more of the burden. Looks really have to do with our desires for healthy strong babies. Hate to say it people but our knee jerk reaction to love still dates back to the cave days. We are so advanced eh lol 1
PogoStick Posted May 5, 2013 Posted May 5, 2013 How about the humility to accept criticism and learn from others, instead of always being disagreeable? Why do you discount PUA? Mystery provides excellent philosophy regarding female attraction. Your revelation is very old news. Why do it the hard way? 1
Taramere Posted May 5, 2013 Posted May 5, 2013 (edited) Anyway, I guess I come across as neutral. Girls don't really scream out my name at parties like they do for some other guys nor do they really seem ultra excited to see me. I guess I'm just a dull person. I was reading another thread where it said your core personality is set in stone when you are 5 or so. I was a relatively tame child when I was younger and I've always felt like the oddball or the odd one out in terms of social interactions. So you're an introvert, generally. Re the PUA thing....from what I've seen of PUA theory it often seems to rely on taking shy, introverted men and transforming them into the very opposite. I think some PUA theory could be of help to more introverted men, in terms of getting them into "party mode" for attractive female attention at the kind of noisy social get togethers which introverts don't tend to do very well in by nature. Within reason, though. I'm a believer in "know thyself, and be true to thyself". If a bit of PUA helps to bring you out of yourself and be more sociable then fine. If you're a natural introvert then flooding your life with outings to bars, parties etc in order to get practice in putting on a more extrovert face and chatting up endless women with that "it's a numbers game" approach seems like the kind of thing that is doomed to failure - resulting in a person becoming confused about who they actually are - or even destructively dismissive towards/contemptuous of that more introverted side of themselves. There are positives you shouldn't overlook to your more introverted side. Being introverted doesn't mean you're an oddball. It just means that you don't enjoy crowded social events to the extent that more extroverted people do. Pogostick mentions Mystery...but how many men would actually want to be like Mystery? How many normal, sane women out there would want to deal with Mystery in any context beyond having a laugh with him at a party? Men like that provide a focus at social events, and that's quite a good thing for everybody. It's like....speaker's corner in London. You get these extreme extroverts/people who are a bit insane in their militant approach yelling from a soap box. Few people would want to get their lives tangled up with one of the strange people yelling on Speaker's Corner - but they're fun to listen to and occasionally heckle. They promote an atmosphere in which people are more likely to engage with eachother - maybe in some cases at the expense of the speaker (because they're laughing at him). You don't need to be that noisy, extrovert (or faux extrovert) guy with the box of magic tricks at a party. Just learn to take advantage of what he's providing at the party - ie a gathering point for people. It might well be that he'll find a girl who's drunk or silly enough to actually go home with him, but it's almost a cert that most of those girls around him have absolutely no wish nor intention to actually sleep with him. Take advantage of the circus that a man like that creates, without lowering yourself to become one of the acts. Edited May 5, 2013 by Taramere 4
Vogeltron Posted May 5, 2013 Posted May 5, 2013 (edited) Over the past couple of weeks, I have been studying "attractive behaviors" for men towards women. After much research, I have concluded that the summary of attractive behaviors for men indicates demonstrating some form of or derivative of status. If you are more invested in her emotionally that she is invested in you, you lose. If you are treated as a water boy within your social circle and she observes it, you lose. If her friends don't see you as valuable, you lose. While these are not hard and fast rules, they are pretty much generalities. In most cases, I have seen that women do not date men who they perceive to be lower than them in status whether real or imagined. This is why nerds, geeks, and generally eccentric people are usually perpetually dateless, even by girls within their own circles because they are perceived to be low status and do not display attractive behaviors. I consider myself a middle of the road guy. I'm not a BMOC, but I'm not an unknown either. Still, it doesn't seem to be enough. I'm not considered the leader or head honcho of my group by any means. Still, that doesn't prevent my friends from getting laid. Even though status is important, it is only one part of what I believe to be the secret to female attraction. Confidence is not part of the attraction quotient, as I believe it is pretty much foolhardy. Confidence cannot come without prior successes. "Fake it till you make it" is a way around this for some, but not all are adept at lying or putting up false personas. Does anyone know the other pieces to female attraction, so I can continue to construct this theory further. I agree but I also disagree. Attraction only gets you a first date. Personally I believe in life persistence and a game plan is everything. Even if you are a loser and suck if you have a game plan and refuse to lose you can still make things happens. While attraction with a woman is one thing I personal believe it will only take you so far. If you want a truly successful relationship you have to make the person you are with feel special and awesome. Sometimes that is complimenting them sometimes that is doing little things that other people just don't do anymore. Status and money are important to lots of women I agree. But, for a good majority of women they want a man who makes them feel special. That is basically it. You can take all the pickup lines and everything else and what not and make your own judgement. I can tell and I am not the best with picking up women etc, if you can make them feel a certain way that goes much further than a bank account or looks. I also believe to and extent that is why some relationships falter. On both sides is both parties fail to communicate with each other how much they mean to each other or how special they are. Even if they have to lie up their ass about certain aspects. Especially when men write about attracting women and stuff I find it quite funny. Because my fellow man is always complaing about how emotional women are. But has yet to realize while money and looks play a role how you make a women feel really is the end all. Edited May 5, 2013 by Vogeltron
ThaWholigan Posted May 5, 2013 Posted May 5, 2013 Well, if you're going to bring astrology into this, I'm a Scorpio. Interestingly, it's the sign that supposedly is supposed to be the most attractive to those of the opposite sex and the most charismatic. I am neither of those, which is one of the reasons why I believe astrology for the most part - is balderdash. Anyway, I guess I come across as neutral. Girls don't really scream out my name at parties like they do for some other guys nor do they really seem ultra excited to see me. I guess I'm just a dull person. I was reading another thread where it said your core personality is set in stone when you are 5 or so. I was a relatively tame child when I was younger and I've always felt like the oddball or the odd one out in terms of social interactions. There's more to it than just being a Scorpio though . Regarding your 2nd paragraph, I can comfortably say I know how it feels to be the oddball in social interactions. I don't know if I can say I was ever dull. How do you think you're dull? I mean, do you not believe that you can cultivate something exciting?
charlietheginger Posted May 5, 2013 Posted May 5, 2013 Great the alpha beta debate. Alpha type A = go getter Beta = all talk little action sub types Alpha jerk= humps anything that moves Beta casanova = talks a women into bed Alpha workaholic = work work work little time for women Beta workaholic= working painting sculpting pictures of women To scared to sex the monalisa up. Alpha jock = bashes other guys and women around to get his way Beta jock= creates sketchs and draws strategical plans To persuade people to get his way
RedRobin Posted May 5, 2013 Posted May 5, 2013 Take advantage of the circus that a man like that creates, without lowering yourself to become one of the acts. posted for emphasis... Ladies have their own version too. Take advantage of the opportunity some of your silly girlfriends have provided in sorting out the character of men around you. Sometimes it pays to NOT be the first round draft pick... seriously. 1
iris219 Posted May 5, 2013 Posted May 5, 2013 I've come accross you can't be more invested than her a lot and I hate that. I really hope it's not true. I can only become interested in a man if he is more invested in me in the beginning. I need him to invest emotionally and make it clear that he really, really likes me. If he doesn't, nothing will happen because I can't open up or feel comfortable with him otherwise. Typically, I can't even decide if I feel anything for a man until he makes it clear he feels something for me.
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