ConfusedT Posted May 5, 2013 Posted May 5, 2013 So the girl he was messing with called me and let me know, so instead of being mature and just calling it quits. We went over there and confronted him together, and basically ambushed him, causing a huge yelling fight and raucous. He had already cheated on the me the prior evenings with her and then I caught him up after he invited her over for another rendezvous... I feel completely psycho, immature and embarassed for what I did, but I was caught up in the moment. For some reason, I feel SO BAD for doing this to him, I feel like I betrayed his loyalty by even speaking with this other woman, even though he had been screwing her behind my back. Is there something wrong with me? I know I could have handled the situation differently, BUT i am mortified that I acted like a teenager instead of a grown woman and dealing with OUR relationship between each other. I broke NC and "apolgized" (in not so many words) for doing what I did with her and how I confronted him, he didnt respond... and i just feel like a trainwreck... any words of encouragement??
JourneyLady Posted May 5, 2013 Posted May 5, 2013 So the girl he was messing with called me and let me know, so instead of being mature and just calling it quits. We went over there and confronted him together, and basically ambushed him, causing a huge yelling fight and raucous. He had already cheated on the me the prior evenings with her and then I caught him up after he invited her over for another rendezvous... I feel completely psycho, immature and embarassed for what I did, but I was caught up in the moment. For some reason, I feel SO BAD for doing this to him, I feel like I betrayed his loyalty by even speaking with this other woman, even though he had been screwing her behind my back. Is there something wrong with me? I know I could have handled the situation differently, BUT i am mortified that I acted like a teenager instead of a grown woman and dealing with OUR relationship between each other. I broke NC and "apolgized" (in not so many words) for doing what I did with her and how I confronted him, he didnt respond... and i just feel like a trainwreck... any words of encouragement?? If you feel bad about catching a cheater, you definitely need to undergo some counseling, because it appears your self-esteem is not so great. You knew there was a problem and you wanted irrefutable evidence. You got it and he knows it. Do NOT go back to this guy unless you want a disease. And don't feel badly, because it's people like him that spread them. 3
coaches24 Posted May 5, 2013 Posted May 5, 2013 I don't think there is anything wrong with you as your feelings are common. But I don't think you should feel bad at all. He cheated and he got caught so its all on him with what happened. And it sounds like he was lying to the other girl as well so HE is the one with the problems, not you. He is the one that needs help. As hard as it might be it sounds like the best thing for you is to move on without him for good and find someone who will treat you right.
Author ConfusedT Posted May 5, 2013 Author Posted May 5, 2013 I don't feel bad about him cheating, hell no, but i do feel bad about how I caught him. But thank you I needed to hear that from someone because a few people close to the situation said I was in the wrong for doing that... But thank you, I am happy to hear that other actually agree to some degree with what I did, makes me feel better!!!
LoveB86 Posted May 5, 2013 Posted May 5, 2013 (edited) Nope. What you did is you rubbed his fault in his face! When my ex cheated, I called his "now girlfriend" and told her the story. She works with my friend and even my friend tried to convince her that he had been with me all this time. She decided to believe him instead and now their a couple after he was playing the both of us. I guess she didn't have respect for her ownself. He was with me for a year and only knew her 2 months? I don't feel bad and am glad he got caught. When he broke up with me, he used the excuse of needing time away on a trip. Yeah right, a "trip" in someone elses arm. He thought he can let me down easily incase the "grass wasn't greener", but he got caught and knows hes ashamed. He can live with his guilt. He can answer to God on that one because I am done and have no reason to feel bad. Stay strong! No more of this, vanish from his life, focus on a even better you and put this behind you. Edited May 5, 2013 by LoveB86
Author ConfusedT Posted May 5, 2013 Author Posted May 5, 2013 I actually feel so much better after reading these things.. Good, I think it is right you at least TRIED to do that, some women dont!
Damia Posted May 5, 2013 Posted May 5, 2013 Confused ..you did what a lot of us would like to have done when we found out we had been cheated on I say well done for calling him out! He was in the wrong and I sure would not be apologizing for catching him. If the roles were reversed would you expect him to apologize for catching you cheating??
Hope737 Posted May 5, 2013 Posted May 5, 2013 ConfusedT. Yeah like the other guys on here, I say well done for confronting him and getting his dirty secret out in the open. Being cheated on is the most painful experience someone can go through in my opinion so you definitely shouldn't feel bad on his part. I just wish I had the strength to do what you did and confront him about it. I found out my now ex girlfriend was cheating on me with her ex and I did nothing about it. I was a complete pushover as I was so shocked. To this day she doesn't know that I know she cheated multiple times. The fact that she got away with it without feeling any remorse will stick with me for a while as I know I'm to blame for letting her do it to me. Anyway, chin up and do not feel guilty in any way whatsoever. Keep trying with NC and things do improve. I've been NC for three weeks now after a 9 year relationship/friendship and there are ups and downs, but the ups become more frequent. All the best!
Author ConfusedT Posted May 8, 2013 Author Posted May 8, 2013 I dont know if any of you will still see this, but YES.. I really do not feel badly about what i did any longer and I am kinda happy i did it because now i 100% know the deal. I am still being nosey, interested in what is going on in his life, but I am not doing any research or anything because if you go searching, youll find something you dont want to see and i sure as hell dont want to go backwards!! 1
LoveB86 Posted May 8, 2013 Posted May 8, 2013 You got that right. He got caught just like my ex. I didn't confront him or anything. Omg, how do they go to sleep at night knowing they hurt someone like this!!? Geez, are they not humans with emotions??? Bad injury may of messed their head up?? ::Sarcasms:: Keep your head up and focus on you now Bet it's nice to save money on gas because your not wasting your time, money, and gas drivin to him! Hehe I noticed that for myself. 1
Author ConfusedT Posted May 8, 2013 Author Posted May 8, 2013 YES, caught up.. so sad, i think they simply lack empathy and maturity, which in all hopes will come at some time for both of them. Um, yes I am so happy Im not wasting my time, that doesnt mean I don't love him or miss our good times, but when the bad outweighs the good, it's time to push, no matter HOW hard it is....
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