pyramid Posted May 5, 2013 Share Posted May 5, 2013 So I had a first date last night with a guy I met via OLD. Less than a week turnaround from first contact to meeting in person. Minimal emails and texts during the week, and we hadn't even spoken on the phone. (He asked me out in his first email.) We met for a drink, which ended up being two, and there was plenty of attraction, flirting, touching, great conversation, the whole 9 yards! We went to take a walk while we sobered up, and he pulled me aside & kissed me after we were outside the restaurant. It was a good kiss - but I didn't feel anything. This has never happened to me before. What's going on?? I'm attracted to him, why no spark?? Link to post Share on other sites
joanna13 Posted May 5, 2013 Share Posted May 5, 2013 Maybe because you met a stranger who just asked you out and kissed you later. I never have sparks with a guys I don't know very well, that is why I don't kiss on the first date. I need to get to know them a little bit more to feel more chemistry. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted May 5, 2013 Share Posted May 5, 2013 Probably just nerves / you don't know him to well yet. Just keep getting to know him, attraction usually builds better when your able to properly asses who you are dealing with. Link to post Share on other sites
HoneyBadgerDontCare Posted May 5, 2013 Share Posted May 5, 2013 So I had a first date last night with a guy I met via OLD. Less than a week turnaround from first contact to meeting in person. Minimal emails and texts during the week, and we hadn't even spoken on the phone. (He asked me out in his first email.) We met for a drink, which ended up being two, and there was plenty of attraction, flirting, touching, great conversation, the whole 9 yards! We went to take a walk while we sobered up, and he pulled me aside & kissed me after we were outside the restaurant. It was a good kiss - but I didn't feel anything. This has never happened to me before. What's going on?? I'm attracted to him, why no spark?? It means that he didn't turn you on. What do you think the "spark" even is? LOL It really baffles me that most women don't understand the real reasons behind things like "spark" and "chemistry". Link to post Share on other sites
fortyninethousand322 Posted May 5, 2013 Share Posted May 5, 2013 Well a pretty wise philosopher from New Jersey once said "you can't start a fire without a spark". Seriously though, I wouldn't worry about it. You don't want too many sparks. That could be dangerous. Especially if you're near fuel or any kind of accelerant... Link to post Share on other sites
apple OR orange Posted May 5, 2013 Share Posted May 5, 2013 no spark means the engine doesnt work Link to post Share on other sites
edgygirl Posted May 5, 2013 Share Posted May 5, 2013 Guy I'm seeing and me had a terrible first kiss. He thought I would like it rough as he knew my k***y tendencies. I asked him jokingly after the date if he really had to shove his tongue down my throat like that. He realized what he did and next date and kiss was normal and so much better. Sometimes first kisses can be weird. I hate it when everyone say ditch him so easily. That's why OLD doesn't work. If it was a good kiss and good date overall, why not give it a try? So hard to have a good date... I would give it another chance. Link to post Share on other sites
ChessPieceFace Posted May 5, 2013 Share Posted May 5, 2013 I hate it when everyone say ditch him so easily. That's why OLD doesn't work. If it was a good kiss and good date overall, why not give it a try? So hard to have a good date... I would give it another chance. Sounds valid. Personally, I would be very put off by a kiss so early. Another thought - what if it's pheromonal? No attraction to his scent... people like to pretend that doesn't exist but I'm pretty sure it's a factor. Just an idea. Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted May 5, 2013 Share Posted May 5, 2013 Keep in mind a lot of people just aren't very good kissers... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted May 5, 2013 Share Posted May 5, 2013 On my last First Date not only was there really no attraction, but there was also not much spark on the first kiss. But I have it a second date as well as a third. 14 months later, I am engaged. I think and believe these things *can* grow! Link to post Share on other sites
mortensorchid Posted May 5, 2013 Share Posted May 5, 2013 Well, quite honestly, if there is that first kiss and there are no sparks, then it's not going to be so great. There is something about the person that does not click with the other and ... when that happens you have to consider that it isn't the best situation possible. Honestly, why would you want to be with someone who doesn't "do it for you"? Even in the slightest? Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted May 5, 2013 Share Posted May 5, 2013 Well, quite honestly, if there is that first kiss and there are no sparks, then it's not going to be so great. There is something about the person that does not click with the other and ... when that happens you have to consider that it isn't the best situation possible. Honestly, why would you want to be with someone who doesn't "do it for you"? Even in the slightest? I think I've unlocked the mystery that is "chemistry." You feel "chemistry" for someone if they are very physically attractive on first sight or they have a personality strong enough that they can make up for a lack of above average looks in a short period of time. Link to post Share on other sites
fortyninethousand322 Posted May 5, 2013 Share Posted May 5, 2013 I think I've unlocked the mystery that is "chemistry." You feel "chemistry" for someone if they are very physically attractive on first sight or they have a personality strong enough that they can make up for a lack of above average looks in a short period of time. It's possible. If it's really about true "chemistry", how well do chemists do in the dating world? They should be cleaning up... Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted May 5, 2013 Share Posted May 5, 2013 If it's really about true "chemistry", how well do chemists do in the dating world? They should be cleaning up... Sex Panther...60% of the time, it works every time... Link to post Share on other sites
Author pyramid Posted May 5, 2013 Author Share Posted May 5, 2013 Thanks guys, I am definitely going to give it another chance - we really clicked and like I said, I *am* attracted to him! At this point, the "you just don't know him enough" argument makes the most sense, but of course that is probably because it's the one with the best outcome Another thing I thought of was that I didn't have a chance to anticipate it! There was no "tension" of wondering if/when it would happen. I am a first date kisser about half the time... Almost always if it's in the evening. I have historically been someone that needed a good amount of emailing and a phone call before meeting in person though, so I had always formed some kind of attachment by the time we met in person. Decided to try something different this time but I guess I may have swung too far to the other extreme. Link to post Share on other sites
tricolors Posted May 5, 2013 Share Posted May 5, 2013 How CAN there be a spark when you kiss someone on the first date? There's no build up or tension. Link to post Share on other sites
soccerrprp Posted May 5, 2013 Share Posted May 5, 2013 "Sparks" do not necessarily wait for a time or degree of knowledge of the other. Sometimes, of course, but it also flashes from a first kiss. Stranger, first date or no. Link to post Share on other sites
KungFuJoe Posted May 5, 2013 Share Posted May 5, 2013 I'm a huge believer of instant chemistry. And is much more than just physical attraction. I met this absolutely gorgeous, tall Latin girl back when I was single. I mean she was beautiful...and sexy and fun. That first night consisted of me doing body shots off of her, some grinding on the dance floor followed by walking on the beach at the end of the night, both of us pretty tipsy by then. Long story short, she made the first move and kissed me right there on the beach and........nothing. She was a good kisser, too. But there was just nothing. Needless to say we didn't last very long. But the first time I kissed my wife...(she planted one on me the first time we hung out while on the dance floor)...was just WOW. I'll never forget that kiss and the kiss ended up with the both of us spending the entire rest of that night in my car parked outside an elementary school. To this day out chemistry and the way we kiss has never changed. We might get mad at each other and fight (sometimes viciously) but the desire for each other...still there after over thirteen years. So yeah...that first kiss is VERY important to me. Link to post Share on other sites
BoneyHadger Posted May 5, 2013 Share Posted May 5, 2013 Thanks guys, I am definitely going to give it another chance - we really clicked and like I said, I *am* attracted to him! At this point, the "you just don't know him enough" argument makes the most sense, but of course that is probably because it's the one with the best outcome Another thing I thought of was that I didn't have a chance to anticipate it! There was no "tension" of wondering if/when it would happen. I am a first date kisser about half the time... Almost always if it's in the evening. I have historically been someone that needed a good amount of emailing and a phone call before meeting in person though, so I had always formed some kind of attachment by the time we met in person. Decided to try something different this time but I guess I may have swung too far to the other extreme. Looks like you have nothing to sweat then, just don't overthink the whole thing and enjoy your time together. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts