Kriz12346 Posted May 4, 2013 Posted May 4, 2013 Ahh some insight please I had been single for about a year since my last break up (6 months grieving and 6 months concentrating on myself) so I decided to get back out there. My buddy suggested a dating site since I work 2 jobs and rarely get any time to go out and enjoy weekends and evenings.. I was skeptical at first because I've never been online dating or done anything long distance before. A few weeks go by and nothing has really sparked my interest until this one girl came along.. Insanely gorgeous, funny, smart.. So we instantly hit it off and become "e-separable" within a couple weeks.. So comfortable in fact that we are able to share our insecurities with each other (she's bipolar2 and I have lost some motor skills in my right arm due to a brain injury I had several years ago and it also causes me to have slight muscle imbalance but I can do anything any "normal" person could do.) she's 22 and I'm 28 by the way. We decided that we weren't going to let our "issues" define us and like each other for who we were and get through it as a team. She lives 2 hours away and we talked about both being comfortable with long distance I think it may have been a mistake for us both to get so attached before meeting. So she comes down to see me. First night went great besides the beginning awkwardness...dinner, drinks, all that stupid lovey dovey butterflies crap that couples do in the beginning.. Then she tried to initiate sex. I normally would but I decide to be the good guy and say we should wait just because of the drinking thing and first night meeting or whatever (looking back that was dumb) The second day was good but not as good as the night before, but nonetheless still good. The third day was good too and we finally had sex and she went home awhile afterwards. On her way home she was messaging the stuff girlfriends usually say "I miss you already" but then the next day she hit me with the " it's not you, it's me " and "you remind me of my ex" bull**** pretty much out of nowhere. She said she couldn't handle the distance because she was bipolar and everything was amazing and perfect but when she got home it made her think more because she was not in the moment. I told her I couldn't be friends with her because I didn't think it would work and she got very upset and said " it would be so different if you were here but you're not and its not good for my bipolar levels I'm sorry I feel so terrible" So a week goes by and she contacts me and asks how I'm doing (guilt check up) and I demand to know the real reason why she bailed.. And she hits me with " your funny sweet and handsome.. It was seriously just my stuff with long distance and all the other bull****" A month goes by without contact and at this point I'm over the situation but my ego is bruised. We talk and she tells me about her boyfriend that lives 3 hours away..so basically all the long distance excuse was bs..I have been talking to this new girl and I thought Id try to squeeze the truth out of her one last time so I wouldn't make the same mistakes with this one. I kinda leaned it toward my neurological issue and maybe she was uncomfortable with it and that's why she bailed, she just said that its not noticeable enough for me to be insecure about it and to not talk about it so much and that I was too truthful about it and to save it for intimate conversations, instead of constantly worrying about my flaws So in conclusion, I want everyone's opinion on why she bailed. I'm not hung up on her, but I would like to save as much of my ego as humanly possible A few scenarios I thought of was: A) there was simply not the same connection as there was online on her part. Period. B) she wanted to give this guy a chance that she wouldn't give me because perhaps he had more to offer C) my insecurities ruined it D) my neuro issue is the actual issue but she's too nice to come out and say it Sorry about the long post
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