JustTooConfused Posted May 4, 2013 Posted May 4, 2013 I posted this in another forum because i didn't see this one. My girlfriend and I have only been dating for about three months, but unlike past relationships this one was going PERFECT. No arguments, no drama, just happiness, not just for me but her too. Last weekend we had our first "argument" and I acted quite different for about 2.5 days. Since she has not been the same, It took me a couple days to get back to my normal self but she just seemed very distant for that week. Today she said she wanted to take the weekend to think about things and spend time with her family and friends. At first i responded badly, by getting angry and asking why. But then I said "ok well take your time and contact me when you're ready." She told me that I didn't have to stop contacting her all together. When I told her that i was going out with some friends for the night, she was kind of mad about it. She texted me that she was going to bed and I may have made the mistake of telling her that i loved her(we've said it before) but she said it back. Im kind of confused by all this. My first thought was that there was someone else she was interested in but i just cant see that because we have been very close and she literally doesn't have the time and we pretty much see each others text and facebook stuff. She said its all over the argument we had, which is understandable, but whats so confusing is that she is letting this "smaller" argument erase all the good things that I've/we've done. Additional info- to make excuses for myself: I take medication for bipolar and depression. I broke out in a rash and decided to stop the medication all together. HORRIBLE IDEA! She knew this, and the complete drop off of meds sent me into a weird state of depression. Plus i was dealing with some family issues. She believed me when i told her it was the medication making me act this way and that id be better in a few days. I never said anything bad about her, it was literally me acting very standoffish, because i was just very depressed.So technically there wasn't an argument, it was just me acting differently. When I say i was "mad" it was more my mind state, i didnt say anything angry to her just "asking why" because to me it was completely out of left field and if there was another guy. I also really want to text her something along the lines of " I think i need time to think as well, that i don't think i deserve to be treated this way." Not to be an ass but because its kind of how I feel, im just afraid it may send her over the edge, and i really want this relationship to work. How do you guys translate this? Thanks!
TaraMaiden Posted May 4, 2013 Posted May 4, 2013 Three months is very little time to be able to establish a deep and meaningful relationship, and it may be an indication that really, she doesn't have the 'staying power' to see this through and endure the ride. This may be a 'little thing', but it could also be the straw that broke the camel's back. If you have a personality disorder, it's tough for someone to deal and cope with that. Without your meds, you reverted to 'your natural state' if i may call it that - and that's a difficult one for others to witness. I have a family member who is BP and sorry to say, they're a real and complete nightmare - to the extent that they have effectively alienated every single member of the family, bar their spouse - which makes both of them completely isolated.... It takes time for a BP sufferer to process stuff, because reasoning is skewed and everything is magnified. The fact that you "sulked" for two-and-a-half days after your argument, probably didn't help. It's highly likely she has discussed this with her family and friends, and they have advised her to cool it, and retreat from this.... Screwy as it may sound, I would stay NC until she contacts you. Give her this time to digest what happened - but also, to 'miss' you and want to talk to you. She won't leave you hanging - so be patient.... I can't guarantee how this will pan out, but whatever the outcome, your priority is actually to look after yourself, and take care of what you have to do....
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