DrStrangelove Posted May 4, 2013 Posted May 4, 2013 So, for those who have been following along (ty btw)... Met a girl on Indian matrimonial site. Flew up to Seattle saw her.. we instantly clicked. Rewind to a few days ago. I started getting worried about her not having a dad, and other things. I told her I didn't want to continue. Talked to my sister, and came to realize I'm having trust issues. Sister balanced me out. She also told me this is the girl for you. (She went with me to see her) Anyways. I wait a day. Contact her, tell her I made a mistake. She said,"she doesn't want to reconcile, was surprised I could do that to her" I send 2 small texts about my trust thing, and how my sister helped me. She said she needs a few days to think about it... This is a girl who took back a bf who cheated on her, one would think she could get over my mistake? Also, I don't know if she wants me to put more effort into chasing her, I don't think I should as that would come across as needy, I told her take as much time as she wants. She said, "idk what my final outcome will be" Maybe she is putting me on ice, as I did her. She got sick the day after I told her I wanted to part ways. Pretty sure it was a shocker and it broke her down, (or just a coincidence). Do you think she will come around? If she doesn't... I'm not to worried. I feel like she has a defense mechanism in place for getting rejected?
TaraMaiden Posted May 4, 2013 Posted May 4, 2013 You both have, by the sound of it. Sad that insecurities got in the way of what could have been something good..... 1
Author DrStrangelove Posted May 4, 2013 Author Posted May 4, 2013 You both have, by the sound of it. Sad that insecurities got in the way of what could have been something good..... Yea, it really is. I hope she comes around. She even stated how scared of marriages she was. Her sister had an arranged one and the guy got her sis pregnant and left her w 2 kids. I would be scared as well.
TaraMaiden Posted May 4, 2013 Posted May 4, 2013 Approach her again. Apologise profusely for hurting her, and tell her you completely understand her hesitation, given her history; it's perfectly reasonable for her to feel that way. What does she think you could both do - how could you both work together - to try to make your (joint) relationship as good as it possibly could be? 2
apple OR orange Posted May 4, 2013 Posted May 4, 2013 not so sure i dont smell, some scam going on here...
Author DrStrangelove Posted May 4, 2013 Author Posted May 4, 2013 Approach her again. Apologise profusely for hurting her, and tell her you completely understand her hesitation, given her history; it's perfectly reasonable for her to feel that way. What does she think you could both do - how could you both work together - to try to make your (joint) relationship as good as it possibly could be? Yikes. You don't think that would be to much? I don't want to be desperate. And, I feel anymore contact would do that.
TaraMaiden Posted May 4, 2013 Posted May 4, 2013 not so sure i dont smell, some scam going on here... What if you do? What can you do about it, if it is? They both come from a culture that has arranged/approved marriages..... it is what it is.....
Author DrStrangelove Posted May 4, 2013 Author Posted May 4, 2013 You said she previously accepted back a boyfriend that cheated. S she has obviously now learned from that. She knows what she wants in a guy and she doesn't want a flake, or to play games or what has you. You cut it off. She wiped her hands. Your loss. Next time you want to judge a girl and break it off..be sure you want to end it. Don't expect just because she let someone else treat her like dirt that she's a door mat that hasn't learned her lesson. Solid advice. TY. I agree.
ForeverHopeful1 Posted May 4, 2013 Posted May 4, 2013 So you told her you didn't want to date her because she doesn't have a dad? You basically stopped talking to her over something she has no control over. Unfortunately, you may have mucked this up. 1
TaraMaiden Posted May 4, 2013 Posted May 4, 2013 Hmmmm.... You gave in too easily. I'm thinking you're actually relieved this didn't pan out. 1
Author DrStrangelove Posted May 4, 2013 Author Posted May 4, 2013 I told her I had uncertainties about "us" and left it at that. I took your advice. She didn't answer, which she rarely does. I apologized via vm, and included what you mentioned. Hopefully it helps my chances 1
apple OR orange Posted May 4, 2013 Posted May 4, 2013 What if you do? What can you do about it, if it is? They both come from a culture that has arranged/approved marriages..... it is what it is..... Maybe, i took the post at face value and answered from my western culture as expected on a western forum.
TaraMaiden Posted May 4, 2013 Posted May 4, 2013 This isn't a 'western forum'. It's a public forum based in the West. There's a difference. 2
ForeverHopeful1 Posted May 4, 2013 Posted May 4, 2013 Yikes. You don't think that would be to much? I don't want to be desperate. And, I feel anymore contact would do that. She won't be chasing you... As long as you can move on and accept that, then don't contact her. You will sound sincere, not desperate. How many women do you normally click with?
Author DrStrangelove Posted May 4, 2013 Author Posted May 4, 2013 Your correct. I left a vm stating how sorry I was. I can move on, lesson learned. I'm sure I can click with someone else, but she and I were happy together on that trip. I WILL UPDATE SOON. Hopefully she replies back sooner than later.
Sookie1 Posted May 4, 2013 Posted May 4, 2013 This might sound dumb, but maybe you should tell her you care about her? Maybe all she needs is reassurance, not to be chased and play a game.
Author DrStrangelove Posted May 5, 2013 Author Posted May 5, 2013 This might sound dumb, but maybe you should tell her you care about her? Maybe all she needs is reassurance, not to be chased and play a game. I do think she needs reassurance, but I already left her a vm. Well see what happens. I think anymore would be overbearing. She does have to make the choice herself
Author DrStrangelove Posted May 5, 2013 Author Posted May 5, 2013 Update: Her text after my VM: "insecurities is right. I don't feel like it is worth continuing. We've already had such a bad start and I don't have much confidence in it after that....im sorry" I said.. Bad start. I thought it was a bump in the road. no way was anything going to be perfect. O well. Insecurities did get in the way of something that could've been special. Don't apologize. my error, my issue. Hopefully you find peace, love, and happiness. Take care (my personal nickname for her). Goodbye I tried calling after she texted. She doesn't want to talk, clearly. O well. Another lesson about love and girls learned. Nothing to do but move on... plenty of other females... TY for everyone's input. If she comes around, I will re-update haha.
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