Chase4U Posted May 4, 2013 Posted May 4, 2013 (edited) I have heard of the term "breakups happen cause something was broken" So I am curious if fixing what was broken is there a possible chance to reconcile? Not anytime soon but starting off as friends taking baby steps. Here is a little background info: We were in a long distances relationship. I live in PA and he lives in NYC. We started talking online through POF last April and meet in July (made it official) and broken up in April. He talked about how we were going to do this many times since we meet only 3 times AND he was the one doing a lot of effort in the relationship but this is due to my social anxiety. He would get mad and would tell me he saw this relationship more of a friendship and I guess this is what lead to us breaking up cause I kept doing it. He just hated he was the one always calling, always planning just basically holding my hand. I recall him always saying how he was hurt and that if I he were to do it to me, would I like that. So, I am moving back to NYC this end of May. Crazy! I know, partially cause of him and he said he hopes I am not moving down there cause of him. I confirmed this last month. He was shocked but I am also moving for other reasons as well. I just love the city more then where I live. Since the break up, I've learned so much and oddly became more aware of my anxiety. The breakup put a huge toll on me and I learned so much the whole month. I talked to him last night about the changes in my anxiety and how much when you're hurt, you become so aware. I feel a whole lot better, like I am in control. He was happy for me truly and really wanted to hear what I wanted to say. If fixing the long distances and taking more control of my life will this perhaps make him gave us a second chance? We gave each other as much space as possible and we do talk still but limited it so we can heal. As well as taking baby steps and try not to force it. I mean the breakup wasn't like BAAAAD just some issues we needed to work out. As for the NO CONTACT. I've done it twice, the first time I just ignored him, lied saying my phone was off and he text if I am alive so I text back and he was saying how it was rare not hearing from me in 3 days lol The second time I tried it yesterday which was going to be 2 days not talking to him but I got employee of the month then posted it on FB so he liked it and comment about it then later text me saying congrats. Edited May 4, 2013 by Chase4U
na49 Posted May 4, 2013 Posted May 4, 2013 The only way to fix what's broken is for both people to want to fix what's broken and right now he doesn't want to. This doesn't mean he never will, but it means you shouldn't plan on it. NC isn't just ignoring him, but doing things to try to better yourself for you. Whether he comes back or not.
Author Chase4U Posted May 4, 2013 Author Posted May 4, 2013 I guess it's true that both ppl should fix what's broken. I guess I see it as he's done so much and I think I should fix it and take control of the fix which I was lacking in the relationship. I respect him not fixing it due to the break up being only a month. Time will tell. Call me crazy, but I am a fighter for love. I have done the long distances before and vowed not to do it again and he knew as well but I let my heart in him. It's like I don't wanna fail this time and will fight. I think he was more afraid of the distances then I was. I handle it well unlike he did. bleeeh again, time will tell. I have patience!
Author Chase4U Posted May 4, 2013 Author Posted May 4, 2013 I would love to read more peoples input on this.....
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