DaveA Posted May 4, 2013 Posted May 4, 2013 Quick backround... Was with ex for nearly 2 years, She left me in november and quickly got with her boss from work which lasted a whole 2 weeks. Now fast forward to march ( NC since end of november ). She messaged me asking if i would like to meet up in which i agreed. It was nice to see her and it went really well, she was her usual self and everything felt natural. As she dropped me off at home she started crying saying she mad a huge mistake leaving me and how she still loved me. We agreed to meet up again a few days later and were texting during this time, We went for a walk along the beach, we kissed, hugged, flirted and laughed the whole time. She then tells me she thinks we are soulmates and says that i deserve to be treat better than what she did to me and she can't apologize enough. We agreed we would get back together but take it slow. We met up a few more times, same things happen but then she had planned to go out with her friend clubbing. I text her the next morning saying hope you had a great night out, I hear nothing back for hours until i get a facebook message off her asking if i knew what email address was connected to her mobile contract cause she accidentally locked her phone and needed to factory reset it. There were no kisses at end of her messages ( she always put them on ) so i asked what was up, she was cold saying i bombarded her with messages ( which i didnt since i only replied when she text me ) and that i should get on with my life and if she wants something to happen between us she will message me! Turns out she met some 19yr old kid that night clubbing ( she is 24 ). I saw she added him on facebook so i sent her a message saying "i take it you met someone else last night then" to which her reply was " as if i'd want someone i pulled in town " Turns out she does want him since they are together now. I can see this blowing up in her face since he lives an hour away and is immature! She is also keeping the relationship a secret from people. I don't even think she knows i know they are an item. I messaged her on facebook about a week later saying "i aint waiting around for you so are you done for good?" She seen it and didn't reply which if i was sure about being done for good i'd just tell them. Anyway i have been NC since the 16th march and neither of us have tried to contact each other. I'm not hurt by it anymore just confused as to how someone can say them things and then just drop them for a kid!
Author DaveA Posted May 4, 2013 Author Posted May 4, 2013 anyones insight would be greatly appreciated as i'm confused!
mammasita Posted May 4, 2013 Posted May 4, 2013 The only thing I can gather is that she is immature and doesn't know what she wants. She said all those things to see if you were still available as her fall back. Let her be, you deserve better.
Compromize Posted May 4, 2013 Posted May 4, 2013 My ex recently contacted me to tell me she wanted me back and I have not heard from her since that talk. I think the same thing will happen to me, that I will see her with or find out that she is with someone else and the getting back together thing was just all for them. I really don't have any advice but keep moving forward and try keep yourself occupied. Maybe when you feel ready for it, try dating yourself. You are not the only one going through this kind of crap brother. Just keep moving forward.
Author DaveA Posted May 4, 2013 Author Posted May 4, 2013 Thanks for the replies, I'm completely done with her now seeing that she can say stuff like that then drop me for some young kid. I'd say I'm about 95% over her but still have the odd day were i miss her.. nothing major. I just can't justify that type of behavior cause i would never dream of doing anything similar to someone! Tbh she is a completely different person to the girl i knew and has only gone downhill and made her self cheap and easy, It feels like i don't even know her anymore. Her loss at the end of the day and sometime soon she will come to realize it.
Compromize Posted May 4, 2013 Posted May 4, 2013 I just can't justify that type of behavior cause i would never dream of doing anything similar to someone! It feels like i don't even know her anymore. Her loss at the end of the day and sometime soon she will come to realize it. I am feeling this way as well. My ex has/had been dating, admitted it to me, but could not spare the time towards the end of our relationship to spend with me and became angry when I mentioned the time factor. But now can give it to others. And I would never dream of telling her I wanted to get back together and then just going dark and ignoring any attempts at contact. I would say it then prove it/do it. No grey area, just actions that reinforce the words and keep communication open. Here's to better days ahead of us brother. This is a painful time I know.
Author DaveA Posted May 6, 2013 Author Posted May 6, 2013 completely agree with you compromize! I live by treating people how you would like to be treat. Ive spoken quite a bit about this to friends and family and i keep getting told she is probably emotionally immature ( which would make sense since she never had a mother figure since her parents split up when she was small and never spoke to her ). Also seems like any bit of attention she gets she jumps on it and thinks everything is amazing. Nevermind he will have to deal with her insecurities and constant mood swings, Good luck to them because I'm done with this girl. I deserve so much more and only recently have i actually realized this You will get there too compromize that i can promise you
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