napy666 Posted May 4, 2013 Posted May 4, 2013 I don't drive, work, or have a place of my own. And this guy I am talking too is in the same boat and to me I keep thinking about the future what if neither of us ever get a job, car, or place of our own ever, how would we work dating wise and stuff. To me I would want to find a guy who has his life together, works, drives, has his own place, etc. But I don't see how that would work if he has all of that and I don't have nothing to offer in return. I don't know what to do.
SoulSoldier Posted May 4, 2013 Posted May 4, 2013 I was in your shoes a couple of years ago. No license. No job. No place of my own. While I still live at home with the 'rents, I finally took care of the other two problems. Not only that, but I used my "free time" to pursue things I enjoyed (such as running, golf, guitar etc.). I don't know your age (though I'm assuming fairly young), but simply put, if you feel you have nothing to offer in a relationship, that probably means you need to work on yourself before pursuing a relationship with anyone. This was the hardest lesson for me to learn as a single person, and it's something I still struggle with from time to time. Rather than worrying about dating someone, work on yourself instead. Get your license. Take a job, any job. Get a place of your own when you can afford to. Pursue things you enjoy. Move up the career ladder. And then consider dating someone. Trust me, if you do all of this, you will meet someone worth dating and who is likely an even better catch than what you could get now (speaking from experience here). One other thing to consider: there are many things you have control over in life. Whether or not you find a spouse isn't really one of them. You have control over your job situation, your car situation, your home situation etc. Take back control of what you actually have control over rather than worrying about what you don't exactly have control over.
Author napy666 Posted May 4, 2013 Author Posted May 4, 2013 Yeah yeah yeah I keep trying to get those things and keep failing.
outsidethebox Posted May 4, 2013 Posted May 4, 2013 Instead of each of you having everything, should think in terms of together you get what you need. Let's say he has an apartment, car, and job, but it's probably a struggle to pay for everything. You can help pay for stuff if you can get even part time work, you can help him save on costs by cooking for the two of you, work on your skills to get some better income, etc. You're a team in that respect. You have yourself to offer. If he is in same boat as you, no job, car, living at home, have to help each other get to that point. I've had to move several times for work, it's no picnic. I sympathize. 1
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