affairaddict Posted May 3, 2013 Posted May 3, 2013 Thing is EAs are a weird one because you act like friends but are attracted or in love with each other whilst chatting like close friends.. Ok confused enough. My question is as a single OW dating and meeting other guys (well trying to) during the EA , my mm was always" I'm happy for you , I want you to be happy. Rarely showed any jealous feelings at all. Said he was not a jealous person. But the posts I read here and elsewhere say the MM are possessive of their affair partners and only want them for themselves. Does it depend on the individual mm or could they genuinely want you to find someone and be happy in the full midst of your EA?
Minnie09 Posted May 3, 2013 Posted May 3, 2013 I generally don't think MM in an A are ever truly genuine, so whatever he tells you as a response to your activities/encounters will most likely have a hidden agenda. The jealous MM is usually a manipulative, controlling, weak person. Yours who acts as if he doesn't care wants to string you along by playing the indifference card and giving the "you deserve to be happy" textbook Hollywood BS speech. This is intended to make you look up to him, because he wants to look like the bigger person who cares about you and you can still be "friends" if you meet someone else you click with.* 4
Author affairaddict Posted May 3, 2013 Author Posted May 3, 2013 Yeah I always doubted him being happy for me. As saying I'm happy for you is so cliche anyway. Just gut feeling. After NC last weekend he even liked a post on social network which he knew I was on a date. It flashed up on my phone and I felt :-/ he would say if I asked him he liked it because he was happy I was trying to move on, but my gut tells me he doesn't want me to forget him. But then there's no love and care there at all or friendship which I thought I truly had if its all just fake. This is what starts to make me cross and doubt everything because I was always so honest and open . Fool.
SweetBella1 Posted May 3, 2013 Posted May 3, 2013 Yeah I always doubted him being happy for me. As saying I'm happy for you is so cliche anyway. Just gut feeling. After NC last weekend he even liked a post on social network which he knew I was on a date. It flashed up on my phone and I felt :-/ he would say if I asked him he liked it because he was happy I was trying to move on, but my gut tells me he doesn't want me to forget him. But then there's no love and care there at all or friendship which I thought I truly had if its all just fake. This is what starts to make me cross and doubt everything because I was always so honest and open . Fool. Be careful not to go any further down the rabbit hole with this guy. More than likely you are a sideline hobby for him. Red flags. There's a saying that goes something like this, "Never treat someone like a priority when they treat you like an option." 1
Author affairaddict Posted May 3, 2013 Author Posted May 3, 2013 Well I was a sideline anyway as he has a fiancée but pretty full on EA where we spoke all day every day. He was very very addicted to me and me him. But my question is on the friendship side of things. Can they not want the best for you like a friend would? Or is it always bull ?
SweetBella1 Posted May 3, 2013 Posted May 3, 2013 Well I was a sideline anyway as he has a fiancée but pretty full on EA where we spoke all day every day. He was very very addicted to me and me him. But my question is on the friendship side of things. Can they not want the best for you like a friend would? Or is it always bull ? I would take him at his word. He would be fine if you find someone else. He has nothing to lose if you find another guy, he already has a fiancée, he's secure either way. 1
Author affairaddict Posted May 3, 2013 Author Posted May 3, 2013 He never ever told me to see other men. I chose to see other men and a couple of times I asked him if he was jealous. I wanted him to be jealous for my ego! Here is when he would say no I'm happy for you. You deserve happiness. I love you as my friend. But we wernt friends as we had 12 months sexual attraction and tension which we both vowed not to go there, until some physical the very last days which I regret. I finished the affair. I said I'd had enough. I then went on a date two days later. He then liked it on twitter. Yes he may have been playing games but these were mainly all reactions to my provocations
SweetBella1 Posted May 3, 2013 Posted May 3, 2013 He never ever told me to see other men. I chose to see other men and a couple of times I asked him if he was jealous. I wanted him to be jealous for my ego! Here is when he would say no I'm happy for you. You deserve happiness. I love you as my friend. But we wernt friends as we had 12 months sexual attraction and tension which we both vowed not to go there, until some physical the very last days which I regret. I finished the affair. I said I'd had enough. I then went on a date two days later. He then liked it on twitter. Yes he may have been playing games but these were mainly all reactions to my provocations I still say, take him at his word. If he's not acting jealous, maybe he's just not jealous. Sorry.
NPP10 Posted May 6, 2013 Posted May 6, 2013 I'm about 8 months in, and the jealousy is starting to set. Weekends when I'm out with the girls is when I get some attitude and whatnot. I sometimes think whether some of the things he says to me is just to see what my reaction will be v. how he'd react. Not long ago, we were discussing birth control and children (he has kids, I don't) and I made a comment how one day I may want children (I'm relatively young-- mid 20's). He was quick to mention how I better find someone when I'm out with the girls.
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