napy666 Posted May 3, 2013 Posted May 3, 2013 My friend and I were talking one night and mentioned the thought of what if we could go and talk to our boyfriend's ex's and ask them how the guy was with them, how did he act, what did he do, why did they break it off, etc. Because you know how everyone says it oh my ex was a bitch or my ex was an ******* etc. They tend to over do it when it may have not even been that big of a problem or a deal to begin with. I was thinking of messaging this girl of this one guy I talked too and ask her about how he was with her etc. Do you think this is a good or bad idea?
Poppy fields Posted May 3, 2013 Posted May 3, 2013 Bad idea. You would be getting her biased view of the relationship. Focus on what you have with your partner now. Also, I have always been turned off by guys who overly bad mouth their exes. Just poor manners, in my opinion. 3
Poppy fields Posted May 3, 2013 Posted May 3, 2013 And, I think it would make you sound a little crazy. 2
Treasa Posted May 3, 2013 Posted May 3, 2013 An ex's new flame contacted me. It was SO bizarre. I asked her why she couldn't just form her own opinions? Anyway, I gave her the honest lowdown, both good and bad, and she married him anyway. She was very desperate to have her knight in shining armor in a castle atop a hill (I swear this is verbatim, and if you knew my ex, you'd be cracking up over it).
Treasa Posted May 3, 2013 Posted May 3, 2013 Don't cry for me Argentina I was so tempted to go there. I forgot to mention that my ex continued to flirt with me as long as I knew him. 1
Buttercup84 Posted May 3, 2013 Posted May 3, 2013 No. I wanted to ask my now ex's ex before me, because he was an abusive ass and I wanted ro know if he did it too. I would not ask an ex of a new guy as it is creepy and you do not know if she is just bad mouthing him.
spice4life Posted May 4, 2013 Posted May 4, 2013 It would show very poor character on your part so I wouldn't do it if I were you.
mortensorchid Posted May 4, 2013 Posted May 4, 2013 It is a bad idea, but the comparing of notes is something we cannot help but ponder. A few years ago, I was seeing this absolutely crazy man who dropped me with an email. He started seeing one of my friends, after that disaster went down (and it was a disaster), I reached out to her because he had beaten her up and I was horrified. Had I known he was that crazy I would have stepped in and told her, but he never raised a hand towards me or even became angry with me (until the final email which was clearly angry). She and I compared notes, he used the same excuses with me as he did with her. But that was a special circumstance.
thefooloftheyear Posted May 4, 2013 Posted May 4, 2013 There is a saying "one mans junk is another mans jewel"....Using that logic, whats the point? And its entirely possible that any negative behavior that was displayed towards one woman wouldnt be towards another once the dynamic changed. Also, if he broke up with her she will probably just say stuff that isnt true out of spite. Make your own judgements... TFY
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