Echo000 Posted May 3, 2013 Posted May 3, 2013 Today marks 100 days no contact for me besides a short email reply to an insignificant email she wrote me a month back (for those who judge others who count nc..give it a rest). Got to be honest, I have been worse the past several weeks. More eager for her to reach out again with something more meaningful, more "i miss her big time" thoughts. Etc. It was a mutual break up--yeah it actually was haha not just saying that if i was dumped i would say it. So i could reach out, but im just too scared to be rejected and start back at square one. SO, with that said, and reaching the coveted 100 days, my question is this: How can i squash the hope i have that she will reach out to me? In this case, hope is clearly preventing me from fully moving on, and i am not intentionally hoping for her to contact me. I just..do it. Anyone been in this situation/have any suggestions to get rid of this hope? 1
OwlSoul Posted May 3, 2013 Posted May 3, 2013 How can i squash the hope i have that she will reach out to me? I guess it will remain as far as you think there is any chance of you two getting back together. It was easy to get over my previous ex, once I figured out that he was after some other girl. We justr pushed each other away, so there would be no hope. So welp, totally no attraction. Hm, I dunno really. Maybe try your best so that she would never reach out to you? Push her away as much as possible so your brain would be totally sure she won't ever ever come back?
westjames111 Posted May 3, 2013 Posted May 3, 2013 I am in the same place as you. Almost 2 months no contact besides a few texts. I still think everyday though that she might text me again. I know I am doing this to myself, but she hasnt helped either by sending a random text like once every 3 weeks. I think I will eventually give up on it when either she leaves me a lone completely for awhile and I give up, or I move on as well.
CompleteFailure Posted May 4, 2013 Posted May 4, 2013 I was contemplating visiting the site today, I'm glad I did. Congrats to you on your 100th NC achievement! As for suggestions, I got none. Keep doing what you're doing though, I'm sure you'll be where you want to be soon enough.
KPChick000 Posted May 4, 2013 Posted May 4, 2013 I am feeling the same way. Unfortunately I have no advice on how to squash the hope. I think it will always be there until your worst fear is realized- you either find out something about your ex moving on/getting engaged/married or they tell you something directly that squashes any hope. This is easier said than done, but the best way to squash the hope is to keep telling yourself to move on, that there is no going back. 1
suladas Posted May 4, 2013 Posted May 4, 2013 I think the only way is enough time to pass, or meet someone else new who blows the ex away. Seeing my ex with someone new didn't make me lose all that hope. But my outlook on it has changed, I no longer expect or wait for her to contact me. I just think "whatever happens, happens" if one day she contacts me I will deal with it then, but I just keep going on with my life. If they are a good match and work out, great, if one day she decides she made a mistake and contacts me, I will decide what to do then. But don't get me wrong i'm not waiting or anything, i'm actively looking for someone new, but at 9 1/2 months since the BU it's frustrating to not have enough of a connection to go on more then a 1st date with someone, or a FWB for a while that I had to. More time NC helps, you DON'T want to know they are seeing someone else, or ANYTHING. You want to forget they exist. Living next door to my ex and seeing them with someone new is incredibly difficult, you don't want to know what is going on their life, it won't help.
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