lop98 Posted May 3, 2013 Posted May 3, 2013 I may already know the answer but tomorrow will be a full month since going NC, despite his mediocre attempts to maintain it. Our relationship was very intense, we were best friends for years, fell in love, but distance and lack of communication made it all pretty nasty at the end, with many misunderstandings, manipulation, verbal abuse and depression on both sides and each taking drastic decisions, mine were on the emotional side (saying things I regret, attempting to kick him out of my life when he tried one last time) whereas he took on real actions (quit his job of years and, the worst for me, rebounded with a girl he met two days after our last big fight- a week later she was calling him 'boyfriend', this was in March, they're still together). I'm kind of through with him, I know all the pain and rage I feel won't be easily erased no matter what happens, it will take at least a year or two for me to be able to talk to him naturally, let alone be "nice" to him. That said, I miss him so bad, he's on my mind every hour, every single day, I see this other guy sometimes and can say that seeing him usually takes me one or two steps back in my recovery because it's such a painful reminder that it's all over with my ex and that life is taking me further away from him. It's not healthy to break contact and the least thing I want is more pain but frankly, I can't stand his new girlfriend, I hate her, I hate how she posts things (I catch up once a week now, not everyday but still) that are about how she's some kind of savior in his life, how "this time there won't be lies" (wtf!!), posing like I pose in my pics, suddenly doing her hair like mine, talking about seeing bands with him that she doesn't even like!. To say I'm sick of this person would be an understatement, she knows she's her rebound and didn't mind!, zero dignity or sense of value from her side.. and he still misses me... he lurks in a site I own, I can see his IP ... and she wouldn't post all that crap on how she fell from the sky if he wasn't struggling (and when he struggles, the whole world can tell cause he's whines nonstop and keeps a very annoying sad puppy face at all times- same face he has in his pictures with her). I know the person I should take it against it is him but the beef I have with this girl has reached new heights of women rivalry, I did not ask for it, I have never even posted anywhere on my social networks anything about her, let alone my relationship with him but now I'm at a point where I want to hit back a little and send him "I miss you" and screw her Friday night. I do miss him but mostly I just want to zone him out a little and for her to notice. It's selfish and maybe a bad idea but how to get out of this and stop feeling this? I don't want him to forget about me (the part that hurts me the most), I hate how he's trying to replace me so shamelessly, I hate her for being in the middle and downgrading me by attempting to compete with me. I want to feel better but it's not happening... I feel like my ego's received all sorts of mockery and bullets in the past months that life would only seem fair if I did something bad and screw them up if only for a day.
csuu Posted May 3, 2013 Posted May 3, 2013 You should seriously forget him and this girl and move on with your own life. Focus on YOURSELF and what YOU want, those two shouldn't matter anymore. From what you're describing, I'd want to do something to this girl too if I were in your shoes, but it'd be better to not give them any attention and do things for yourself. If you and your ex ever make contact later down the line then he'll see how much more awesome your life has been without him, his sad puppy face, and this rebound of his. I find that to be sweeter revenge than the potential dramatic mess that'd result of doing something to screw with them. They'll probably screw each other over soon anyways due to the relationship being a rebound. 1
GI_Joy Posted May 3, 2013 Posted May 3, 2013 Trust me, a text from you is not going to ruin their night as much as you'd like to think it will. The ultimate revenge for any person is seeing you live a happy life. WITHOUT them. We can't control our outcomes and their feelings. You can't really fight fire with fire either. People who screw you over end up screwing themselves over anyway (no matter how long that takes) and you don't even have to be in the driver's seat for that. 2
Author lop98 Posted May 3, 2013 Author Posted May 3, 2013 Thank you so much... I needed reassurance that joining them in their crap is not the right way, I'm just so sick of continually taking the "high" road, nothing ever happens on this goddamn road!, and time doesn't seem to be on my side either... months have gone by and he's out every night, exchanging gifts, doing laundry together, stuff normal couples do even though it's so evident he's not in love with her, at least he's not alone, whereas I can't even fully enjoy making out with other people, and the idea of opening up again and rejoicing in doing mundane activities with someone new is as likely as me going to mars.
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