kja712 Posted May 3, 2013 Posted May 3, 2013 We r both married and have children.w We are not happy with our spouses,but we both dont want to hurt our children. We are in love,but when we are together its only like for an hour,sometimes longer.I just have been feeling like hes been just wanting sex and hes gone. He tell me he loves me not her,also says they havent had sex since we started seeing each other,but yet she says they do. im so confused,my heart breaks everytime he leaves me.We do see each other when our families do stuff together,i love his kids,and he loves mine. One day he came by and he couldn't stay long and i just saw him earlier in day with his wife,her n i talked,and he wanted to know what we talked about and i told him he didnt need to know.he asked few times.so we were talking and holding each other.He needed to go,and i didnt want him too,so i did get him to stay,and we made love,but it was different,he never told me he loved me,when we were done,he got up and got ready to go,and i was giving him a hug good bye,and all he could ask was so what did u girls talk about,and i said he didnt need to know,so he told me i love u gotta go.THAT HURT SO BAD IT WAS LIKE HE WAS MORE WORRIED ABOUT THAT THEN BEING WITH ME. I need someone to talk to about this and i have no one i can trust.
TheOW Posted May 3, 2013 Posted May 3, 2013 Why are you playing games with him ? I don't understand why you wouldn't tell him what you were discussing ? Hint: men whether married or not hate being manipulated and it sounds like you are, maybe not intentionally but your post makes out that you are. 5
waterwoman Posted May 3, 2013 Posted May 3, 2013 What were you talking about? What was the big secret?
Minnie09 Posted May 3, 2013 Posted May 3, 2013 Sounds like you are way more attached to him than he is to you. No matter what the nature of your relationship is, that's NEVER EVER a good position to be in. He doesn't seem to care much about you, gets his needs met easily and fast, and that's it for him. Don't make yourself too vulnerable here. You'll lose.
Author kja712 Posted May 4, 2013 Author Posted May 4, 2013 (edited) its about his anniversary gift she got him.i do love him.i just dont know what to think.thankyou everyone. Edited May 4, 2013 by kja712
Author kja712 Posted July 26, 2013 Author Posted July 26, 2013 Here we r few months later. We r still together.hes still with his wife,im still with husband. we have been seeing each other everyday. spending time together with are children.took few days off together and had a wondrful weekend he is a big part of my life. my love for him grows more everyday,and his does as well. we love each other very much. He Brings out the best in me,and i do with him. we r very happy.I LOVE HIM more than anything..hes my world..always n forever.
PutARingOnIt Posted July 29, 2013 Posted July 29, 2013 Why are you discussing anniversary presents with his wife? Does the wife think you are her friend? You pretend to be her friend and then go and have sex with her husband behind her back? You and her husband are both *******s. 1
Author kja712 Posted August 5, 2013 Author Posted August 5, 2013 no not friends with her anymore. hes not a stay at home dad.
LilGirlandOW Posted August 5, 2013 Posted August 5, 2013 Wow your initial post could've been written by me. (except I'm a single OW) How are things going?
MissBee Posted August 5, 2013 Posted August 5, 2013 Here we r few months later. We r still together.hes still with his wife,im still with husband. we have been seeing each other everyday. spending time together with are children.took few days off together and had a wondrful weekend he is a big part of my life. my love for him grows more everyday,and his does as well. we love each other very much. He Brings out the best in me,and i do with him. we r very happy.I LOVE HIM more than anything..hes my world..always n forever. How long has the affair been going on? Do you plan to leave your husband? Also....I think if you feel he just wants sex...you should listen to that feeling. Also, if his wife is saying they have sex, why would she lie about it? She doesn't know you're in an affair with her husband, she's having an anniversary surprise for him (why are you in on the surprise???), it seems like they are a normal couple as far as she knows, and not a couple where they are not in love and never have sex, as if that was the case, I'm sure she wouldn't be surprising him for their anniversary. I know you think he's your world...please don't make him your world. If you're the OW, I genuinely believe you should not put MM on a pedestal as your world, as you aren't his world. No matter how in love, you're not his world. Reserve "the world" spot for your kids....not MM. He doesn't deserve it and the more you tell yourself he's your world, the harder for you to see things clearly.
So happy together Posted August 5, 2013 Posted August 5, 2013 We r both married and have children.w We are not happy with our spouses,but we both dont want to hurt our children. We are in love,but when we are together its only like for an hour,sometimes longer.I just have been feeling like hes been just wanting sex and hes gone. He tell me he loves me not her,also says they havent had sex since we started seeing each other,but yet she says they do. im so confused,my heart breaks everytime he leaves me.We do see each other when our families do stuff together,i love his kids,and he loves mine. One day he came by and he couldn't stay long and i just saw him earlier in day with his wife,her n i talked,and he wanted to know what we talked about and i told him he didnt need to know.he asked few times.so we were talking and holding each other.He needed to go,and i didnt want him too,so i did get him to stay,and we made love,but it was different,he never told me he loved me,when we were done,he got up and got ready to go,and i was giving him a hug good bye,and all he could ask was so what did u girls talk about,and i said he didnt need to know,so he told me i love u gotta go.THAT HURT SO BAD IT WAS LIKE HE WAS MORE WORRIED ABOUT THAT THEN BEING WITH ME. I need someone to talk to about this and i have no one i can trust. If she doesn't know you are having an affair, and she tells you they are having sex... they are. Period. I'm sure you've read lots of stories on this forum about MM who say they are not having sex with their BS, and sometimes it's true. Sometimes it's not. But if she says so... believe it. 1
findingnemo Posted August 5, 2013 Posted August 5, 2013 They are having sex for sure. I mean M and BW. But I really want to know... how do you do it? How do you sleep with him, tell him you love him and then plan an anniversary gift with the W? How do you hang out at social gatherings with his family and cope with the knowledge that all their laughter and happiness could one day go poof? And those kids of his that you love so much. How do you explain loving them and doing what you are doing to their mother? I hope I don't sound harsh because I really am being sincere. Surely you have lots of sleepless nights being your own worst critic. They say never say never but... You had an entire year of hand holding and 'not so bad stuff" (what does that mean exactly?) and you didn't put the brakes on? From your last post, I can see you are totally in love. Always and Forever... that is something I told my xMM too. Unfortunately what you tell yourself is like a command to your brain and heart. if you want to change things, you need to change your thinking on this. 1
MissBee Posted August 5, 2013 Posted August 5, 2013 They are having sex for sure. I mean M and BW. But I really want to know... how do you do it? How do you sleep with him, tell him you love him and then plan an anniversary gift with the W? How do you hang out at social gatherings with his family and cope with the knowledge that all their laughter and happiness could one day go poof? And those kids of his that you love so much. How do you explain loving them and doing what you are doing to their mother? I hope I don't sound harsh because I really am being sincere. Surely you have lots of sleepless nights being your own worst critic. They say never say never but... You had an entire year of hand holding and 'not so bad stuff" (what does that mean exactly?) and you didn't put the brakes on? From your last post, I can see you are totally in love. Always and Forever... that is something I told my xMM too. Unfortunately what you tell yourself is like a command to your brain and heart. if you want to change things, you need to change your thinking on this. Nemo..I've just been loving your insights lately! This is true and was what I meant. You telling yourself MM is your world, you will love him forever, can't live without him, makes you FEEL that way and makes it a lot harder for you to see things clearly or be objective. I think if she should stop focusing on that and see what his wife is saying, her own intuition about his actions of seeming to just want sex, his actions of not really saying he loves her etc...she'd come to see this affair a little differently and not as some epic romance. 2
HighheelsAries Posted August 6, 2013 Posted August 6, 2013 You are both lying and being dishonest- betraying your partners with your affair. Is this love? No its amoral infidelity. Stop hurting your husband and his wife. Your behaviour is selfish. Is it love to hide your feelings, have secret sex with a married person and put the happiness of your kids at risk? Take a good look in the mirror to see what you are. 1
Recommended Posts