mtnbiker3000 Posted May 3, 2013 Posted May 3, 2013 Well after having a crappy week last week ending in an even crappier weekend, I have actually had a good week so far. Kept busy, made an effort to reach out and make some new friends/contacts and was able to keep negative thoughts to minimum. For almost the whole week so far. Yeah, me!!! But, the one thing that has been buggin' me a bit lately is the fact that I am really starting to think my ex did me dirty two ways that I just don't think were right. First, she let me buy her two rings when she knew in her heart we would most likely never actually get married (she knew they were coming. Not a surprise). And, she allowed me to move 250 miles from my home just to be with her with that same knowledge of knowing we would never be married. Now, part of me thinks that maybe she didn't really know what the future had in store, and therefore didn't purposefully jack me. This was almost 2 years ago and 12-18 months into our RS. But, I really think she did!! I won't go into details, but I think she knew, really knew in her heart, and did these things to me anyway for her own benefit. And, as I posted a while back, she has kept the engagement ring. I asked for it back when we first BU, and she starting crying, so I felt bad and told her to keep it. Now, as I think about this more and more, is she just keeping it as a trophy of my ass? She won't wear it. Why would she want it? Maybe she pawned it? Truth is, even though it is exactly what she asked for, it was not super expensive and won't be worth very much now. Really the gold is the only value. Stones were only semi-precious. Really pretty though So, should I now ask for it back? I mean, why should she get to keep it? We're not getting married. It really wasn't a gift. I paid for it, and the wedding band which was much more expensive (I have that). Arrrggghhhh. I dunno. Of course, I do know what I should do is just leave it alone as we have been NC for a while and just move on. I just don't want her to have it and don't think she deserves it!
ViciousCycle Posted May 3, 2013 Posted May 3, 2013 The ring thing is really messed up. Why did you buy two? Moving is also bad, depending on how you view the move independent of your relationship. You should defnitely ask for it back. I think it's a common practice that the ring is returned, isn't it? It is pointless to her. You should try and recoup what you can.
Author mtnbiker3000 Posted May 3, 2013 Author Posted May 3, 2013 The ring thing is really messed up. Why did you buy two? Moving is also bad, depending on how you view the move independent of your relationship. You should defnitely ask for it back. I think it's a common practice that the ring is returned, isn't it? It is pointless to her. You should try and recoup what you can. 1 engagement ring 1 wedding band They were custome made and matching, so bought both close to each other. And I thought we would be getting married soon. Don't think she thought the same thing As far as moving, yeah, I'm pretty much over it. Probably move back or somewhere else soon enough Think I'm just going to leave it alone. Don't think it is worth the aggrivation or stress of communicating with her...
thefooloftheyear Posted May 3, 2013 Posted May 3, 2013 1 engagement ring 1 wedding band They were custome made and matching, so bought both close to each other. And I thought we would be getting married soon. Don't think she thought the same thing As far as moving, yeah, I'm pretty much over it. Probably move back or somewhere else soon enough Think I'm just going to leave it alone. Don't think it is worth the aggrivation or stress of communicating with her... Just let it go...Im sure its not like you have to sell it to put a roof on your head. If she was a decent woman, she would have just returned it of her own will. Its just going to look vindictive and petty if you call her and ask her for it back. Life's lessons are hard indeed... TFY
westjames111 Posted May 3, 2013 Posted May 3, 2013 That is kind of messed up man. You would think she would of said something about the rings. Maybe she will one day. She might just be too caught up on herself right now.
westjames111 Posted May 3, 2013 Posted May 3, 2013 Plus just look at it this way. If she did give them back what would you do with them? I know if my ex gave me back something like that I wouldn't want to keep it becasue of the memories, but I dont think I could bring myself to sell it. I think its best that you dont have to deal with that, but thats just me.
Author mtnbiker3000 Posted May 3, 2013 Author Posted May 3, 2013 Just let it go...Im sure its not like you have to sell it to put a roof on your head. If she was a decent woman, she would have just returned it of her own will. Its just going to look vindictive and petty if you call her and ask her for it back. Life's lessons are hard indeed... TFY Yeah, I'm sure it's worth less than $500, but I just don't want her to have it at this point. I'm not going to ask for it back. And, she did offer it, but I said no. Then I asked for it and she cried. It was during the whole 'back and forth' of the BU. You know, emotions were high. I wasn't sure if I was comin' or goin' . I should have just let her give it to me at the very beginning... Oh well, she can put it on the wall in her trophy room with all the heads of the other poor souls she has hunted and killed over the years (kidding!) 1
Author mtnbiker3000 Posted May 3, 2013 Author Posted May 3, 2013 Plus just look at it this way. If she did give them back what would you do with them? I know if my ex gave me back something like that I wouldn't want to keep it becasue of the memories, but I dont think I could bring myself to sell it. I think its best that you dont have to deal with that, but thats just me. Good point!! And she only has the engagement ring. I still have the band
bluecrabroll Posted May 3, 2013 Posted May 3, 2013 Don't ask for it back. Just let it all go. Let it be a sign to her that you loved her and put your effort and faith into the relationship. Asking for it back seems petty and looks resentful and regretful. Just be the bigger person. I myself would like to ask for a lot of things back that I have given her. But remember we gave them those things under the circumstances that we love them so just keep it at that. We don't ask for a stuffed animal back because a girl we liked didn't like us back right? It is kind of the same thing with this. They don't deserve it but they deserve to be reminded of the effort we put in.
Author mtnbiker3000 Posted May 3, 2013 Author Posted May 3, 2013 Don't ask for it back. Just let it all go. Let it be a sign to her that you loved her and put your effort and faith into the relationship. Asking for it back seems petty and looks resentful and regretful. Just be the bigger person. I myself would like to ask for a lot of things back that I have given her. But remember we gave them those things under the circumstances that we love them so just keep it at that. We don't ask for a stuffed animal back because a girl we liked didn't like us back right? It is kind of the same thing with this. They don't deserve it but they deserve to be reminded of the effort we put in. Indeed!! I'm taking the high road. I was 'all in' and that's something I can be proud of . She has to deal with the fact that she held back, when I didn't...
SalientPoint Posted May 3, 2013 Posted May 3, 2013 Indeed!! I'm taking the high road. I was 'all in' and that's something I can be proud of . She has to deal with the fact that she held back, when I didn't... ^ Yes, this!!! So much this!
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