westjames111 Posted May 3, 2013 Posted May 3, 2013 It's been about 3 1/2 months since she left me for another. "We were together for over 2 years" I went on no contact about 2 months ago, and despite her efforts to get under my skin I have only replied once after over a month of ignoring her to tell her to "please stop." I made tremendous progress when this no contact started I went from feeling like 5% happy to like 70% in just a couple of weeks. My problems now is I feel like I have been stuck at like "70%" mark for over a month now. I don't feel like I have made much more progress and if I have I haven't noticed it. I still think about her a bit and think about things I could of done etc.. Don't get me wrong these thoughts are definitely present but I don't let them control my life anymore. I think the biggest thing that is holding me back is something that I really need to let go of. I want her new relationship or whatever it is to fall apart. Mainly because she hasn't had to hurt like I have and he was a friend of mine. One reason I think I keep holding on to this is because almost daily my friends even a few of her friends talk about how that it is going to fail. They know both her and the knew guy and they say that it is never going to work, that I was the best thing that ever happened to her and one day she will see it. When they talk about this it makes me feel better knowing that she has hers coming. To me I see her completely happy right now. I don't see this perspective that EVERYONE else sees. I guess it is good I dont see it because I really need to let go of this hope. For all i know they might live happily ever after. Keep in mind I don't want her back. I just want her to realize her mistakes. Before everyone tells me I'm a fool for this I already know. Thanks.
CorridorE Posted May 3, 2013 Posted May 3, 2013 I don’t have much advice; I can only say that I know where you’re coming from and understand. My ex and I were together for almost three years and now he is with another girl. This new girl is older than me, but we went to the same high school so a lot of my older friends knew her, and I have people telling me all the time that he has his coming. They say she is manipulative, a compulsive liar, an attention wh*re, and on and on. Everyone I know hates them together as a couple and say the same thing-that I was the best thing that ever happened to him. Part of me wants him to be happy, but most of me would enjoy seeing their relationship implode. I know it might be wrong, but I do want him to realize the mistakes he’s made and what he gave up, and I think that's understandable. I don’t want him back either; he was a cheater and no good for me. I guess I’m just struggling with the idea that I have been completely forgotten. And although selfish, it'd be great knowing that what I was left for backfired on him. More than that though, I'm waiting for the day when I can think about it and not really care what happens...
cavalier99 Posted May 3, 2013 Posted May 3, 2013 Pefectly normal phase and normal to be plateaued. Just keep on going and stay NC. Eventually you wont care if the relationship falls apart or they have kids together. Cav
Author westjames111 Posted May 3, 2013 Author Posted May 3, 2013 I don’t have much advice; I can only say that I know where you’re coming from and understand. My ex and I were together for almost three years and now he is with another girl. This new girl is older than me, but we went to the same high school so a lot of my older friends knew her, and I have people telling me all the time that he has his coming. They say she is manipulative, a compulsive liar, an attention wh*re, and on and on. Everyone I know hates them together as a couple and say the same thing-that I was the best thing that ever happened to him. Part of me wants him to be happy, but most of me would enjoy seeing their relationship implode. I know it might be wrong, but I do want him to realize the mistakes he’s made and what he gave up, and I think that's understandable. I don’t want him back either; he was a cheater and no good for me. I guess I’m just struggling with the idea that I have been completely forgotten. And although selfish, it'd be great knowing that what I was left for backfired on him. More than that though, I'm waiting for the day when I can think about it and not really care what happens... Wow! This is almost exactly my feelings on the situation. After everything she has done to me part of me still wishes her happiness. Then the other part doesnt think its fair that she is happy now and I'm not and wants it to fall apart.
Author westjames111 Posted May 3, 2013 Author Posted May 3, 2013 Pefectly normal phase and normal to be plateaued. Just keep on going and stay NC. Eventually you wont care if the relationship falls apart or they have kids together. Cav I cannot wait for that day to come. It really hits me hard when I am alone or have nothing to do. Today is one of those days and its been on my mind all day.
bluecrabroll Posted May 3, 2013 Posted May 3, 2013 Mine too. Moving on in life, new career, new job, new ideas. Wanted her to be apart of all of it and deep down I hope she knows what she has to do and if she is ready for this part of her career as well. But's shes busy with another guy, honeymoon phase. Waiting for the reality check but I hope my I become neutral before good or bad things happen. the kicker is people keep asking me "are you married yet?"
Author westjames111 Posted May 4, 2013 Author Posted May 4, 2013 the kicker is people keep asking me "are you married yet?" I know how you feel. I am graduating college this summer, and all of my friends are either all tied down in serious relationships, married, or already have kids. It's crazy, because I feel as if I am being left behind even though I never wanted any of this until I was in my late 20's - 30's. I think my mind is just confused because I just came out of this long term relationship and am afraid of being lonely. I think and hope it will clear itself up soon.
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