affairaddict Posted May 3, 2013 Posted May 3, 2013 After a week of NC I snooped yep stupid mistake. Basically he publically asked the BS to do something sexual in a jokey way, something that was very specific to what I had done with him the week before. Just found it a bit strange, A) to say it so publically on a social networking site and B) seems a bit forced to me . When the affair ends does MM really get even more excited for the BS or is this just a show or for my benefit? Kinda hurtful :-/
Goodbye Posted May 3, 2013 Posted May 3, 2013 After a week of NC I snooped yep stupid mistake. Basically he publically asked the BS to do something sexual in a jokey way, something that was very specific to what I had done with him the week before. Just found it a bit strange, A) to say it so publically on a social networking site and B) seems a bit forced to me . When the affair ends does MM really get even more excited for the BS or is this just a show or for my benefit? Kinda hurtful :-/ Ugh, that is hurtful. I doubt it was directed at you. Probably just a sign that the MM is into some specific thing which he did with you and then referenced with his wife. I feel your pain, I do. It sucks. 1
IfWishesWereHorses Posted May 3, 2013 Posted May 3, 2013 Either way, it kind of makes him seem like a lowlife! 2
Author affairaddict Posted May 3, 2013 Author Posted May 3, 2013 He doesn't know I could see because I blocked him but I found it another way: just seemed very specific to me and almost cringe really. Almost a bit desperate. Think the rise tinted glasses are slowly coming off.
Author affairaddict Posted May 3, 2013 Author Posted May 3, 2013 She doesn't know about it though. Didnt have D day. I called it quits.
georgia girl Posted May 4, 2013 Posted May 4, 2013 IMO, it could be a couple of things: 1) He could have posted that deliberately to show you that he's moving on. That would be mean but men can be like that. In a way, he may be trying to show you that the intimacy that you shared - that you thought was only for the two of you - he actually also shares with her. That is cruel but it hopefully helps to kill a little of the emotion you feel for him. 2) It could have been that he is recommitting himself to his marriage and for men, sex is a huge part of marriage. Therefore, he's getting a little bolder and sassier for her - trying to rekindle the spark, so to speak - and make their marriage more sexy and fun. If that's the case, I swear these social media networks make fools out of people all the time. Nothing's more embarrassing than a couple of old farts flirting sexually on FB. Regardless, that's terribly hurtful for you. I would love to see you turn this hurt into a positive and let it strengthen your resolve to not let him in again. Every time he reaches out or says the right thing, think of that post and remember that he hurt you. Then, protect yourself from him. I think it will help you heal. In the end, my take is this may be exactly what you needed to focus on recovery and to build your better future. You may one day want to thank him incredibly for it! Remember that living well is truly the best revenge. 2
Author affairaddict Posted May 4, 2013 Author Posted May 4, 2013 Either way its not very nice and I viewed it as very desperate and it's been just over a week and I think I'm getting better already. Although I have slipped back before when I thought I was over it and fell even harder. Starting to think when I said I love you I loved the highs and the ego boost. The more time I focus on me and ask myself why Im starting to see it was a challenge I became hooked on. He flattered me as someone who was addicted to me and was so interested in my life. Christ he's fairly short not even that attractive. I go out with good looking men who treat me like they've stuck gold. Yet I would finish with them and still want him?! What was I thinking? I met two good men in a year I was with him and he knows deep down I ended it with them because I was thinking about him . All the time he's shagging his gf ughh
secretlady76 Posted May 4, 2013 Posted May 4, 2013 He should be of no concern to you anymore. Don't snoop. Just remember he is his partners problem not yours anymore. Count your lucky stars you escaped. Good luck.
ThatJustHappened Posted May 4, 2013 Posted May 4, 2013 He doesn't know I could see because I blocked him but I found it another way: just seemed very specific to me and almost cringe really. Almost a bit desperate. Think the rise tinted glasses are slowly coming off. If he doesn't know you could see it then it obviously wasn't for your benefit. He was just talking about sex with his wife.
CrimsonEyed Posted May 4, 2013 Posted May 4, 2013 Honestly, I believe he said it because in the back of his head he was hoping you would read it....... He was purposely being an a*hole. But yes, if you even have feelings to yourself as whyyyyy did I even let this happen, then you need to move on and I'm glad you are. It was the fantasy...your name after all says it all. You love and are addicted to the fantasy, that fantasy is gone...i dont think it would matter who it was....its just not there now and it hurts....been there, done that, oh wait....am there, doing that. 2
Author affairaddict Posted May 4, 2013 Author Posted May 4, 2013 I'm starting to agree he prob knew I'd snoop. Pains me to say it thought better of him. Quite callous but whatever. All is not rosy there to have an EA for a year. And even if it is none of my business. I'm done with it and have screenshot that little "giving ***** is good for you what sane girl word say no?" little dig. Loser .
Author affairaddict Posted May 4, 2013 Author Posted May 4, 2013 How disrespectful though and taunting!!! Who taunts? Apart from a child. Seriously he must have some huge ego to post that and want me to read it and be upset. Ranting now but seeing the light today!!!!
lilmisscantbewrong Posted May 4, 2013 Posted May 4, 2013 (edited) Listen, even though there are blocking features and security on fb, there is always a way - whether its a friend telling you what is posted, looking at fb via another persons page,etc. The only reason why people put stuff up on fb is to be seen. Period. I lean to the side that he knew eventually you would see it or hear about it. What a douche. It's actually weird because generally women are the ones that play this sort of game, not men. FB started as a networking site for college students - you actually had to have a college email address to join. When it exploded to include those outside of college age people, it started this horrible way of interacting that brought adults down to a teenage way of communicating. I am not a fan at all. I deleted my page two years ago when the bs and some of her friends would put up hurtful things that I absolutely knew were directed at me. My xmom didn't do it initially - in fact during his withdrawal period from me he hardly ever posted and then the arrogance started to reappear for him and he started to put himself out there more - where he was checking in, who he was with, and so many of the things started to be semi-directed at me as well because they would be places we had either been together or talked about doing together. Then there would be the innocuous song lyrics that I knew were for me. Finally I had it. I refused to put myself through that kind of torture anymore. It was not doing me any good at all. It was hurting me. I slipped a couple of times during weak moments only to find myself feeling horrible again. Now it's been a long time since I have looked or seen any of their stuff online and I am so much better. I feel like if they are expending all of their energy aiming digs at me or trying to make themselves feel better by trying to hurt me, they are making me an important part of their lives still. I refuse to make them an important part of mine so I will not expend that kind of energy buying into their world anymore. And also if this is something new and different that he tried with you and now he is trying with her - believe me she knows in her gut something is up. Edited May 4, 2013 by lilmisscantbewrong
Author affairaddict Posted May 4, 2013 Author Posted May 4, 2013 It's not new it's an every day act but I know in my gut that it was posted because of the way it happened and how erotic it all was. I'm guessing the intention was to get to me- but don't get why after its ended I've walked away what's the point really? Shame on him anyway. Very cocky and like you say public for everyone to see, not just me.
LoveBitesButSoDoI Posted May 5, 2013 Posted May 5, 2013 (edited) If you walked away from the affair, all he is doing is trying to make you jealous or get some kind of reaction out of you. If he has passive-aggressive personality disorder (which my MM had) remember one important thing about people with PAPD, their goal is to get either two reactions out of you, GUILT OR ANGER. By posting that on his wife's page, he knew it would be a double whammy, guilting you for leaving the affair & angering you by making you jealous. Edited May 5, 2013 by LoveBitesButSoDoI
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