wheredoigo Posted May 3, 2013 Posted May 3, 2013 My exboyfriend is a Marine stationed a few hours away. For the first few months, he was chasing me but I was scared of my strong feelings for him so I pushed him away quite a bit. He finally earned my trust and we spent the next 6 months in a wonderful relationship. He wanted to get married before his next deployment (in 6 months) but I wanted to wait until I could transfer colleges and said when he gets back we can. He seemed OK with that answer. Then 1 fateful night... we had a great few days together. Went to a party one night where his best friend's wife brought her best friend who happened to be my BF's exgirlfriend from out of state. They broke up over a year ago while he was deployed. She kept coming on to him and every other male there but he pushed her away. Later, we got in a disagreement and she swooped in to "talk" to him. They spoke in private (but thats all that happened). I got upset and refused to speak to him when he got back. I left upset and told him I didn't want to see him again. The next day he wouldn't talk to me and deleted me from all social media. A few days later I hear that he and his ex were getting back together. He tried to talk to me several times to see if I was OK but I was on NC. After 7 weeks of NC he discovered something bad happened to me so he sent me a text. We texted as friends for several days just like old times and then he disappeared. I sent him 1 text and he didn't respond so I haven't tried again in 3 weeks. I'm driving myself crazy wanting him back in my life. His friends have told me that he was happier with me and they don't recognize him now but he won't talk to them about whats going on. They think he is back with her b/c she wants to get married now and he is scared to deploy without someone committed to him back home, so he is settling for her. I think its his PTSD talking! Any thoughts? Advice?
CorridorE Posted May 3, 2013 Posted May 3, 2013 You remind me of myself... I was in a long distance relationship with a Marine for almost three years until our relationship fell apart in early February when he left me for someone else. Being with someone in the military can be very tough sometimes, I know. Back in December, he too wanted to get married before he deployed (which will be in early Jan. 2014 or so), but similar to you I wanted to wait until after I graduated college, and he said he was fine with that as well. Now I'm very glad we didn't get engaged or married... his leaving me so soon after we had discussed marriage for someone else shows he was never fully committed to me. How long ago was it that he deleted you from the social media sites? Is that still the way it is? And how long have you two been officially broken up? Regardless, the way he keeps disappearing on you and ignoring you even when things seem to have been going well is a bad sign. And also, if he's back with his ex... he seems very confused right now and unsure of what he wants. He might be afraid of having no one, but if you have tried to speak with him since the NC ended and he ignored you then he unfortunatley doesn't want you either, for what ever reason... he might come around, but I wouldn't have high hopes for it to work out. Focus on moving on. If he comes back into your life on his own then you can go from there, but don't put your life on hold for him! And if it would happen, make sure he can be honest with you and that the ex is completely out of the picture, or it will continue to cause problems... On a side note, very good for you for being able to keep to NC so well after he hurt and ignored you! That takes a lot of will power; a lot more than I had when my ex left me... keep staying strong and good luck.
Author wheredoigo Posted May 4, 2013 Author Posted May 4, 2013 Thank you for your response. We broke up the night of the party when I said I didn't want to see him again, which was the beginning of February. He deleted me off social media that day. It was a snap decision on his , I think because all of this happened in front of his friends and his friends sided with me and was coming down on him for talking to his ex. He tried to talk to me a few times over the next few weeks but I wouldn't talk. Then in the middle of April he reached out to me and we talked daily for about a week. I made sure he did the initial contact each day and it really felt normal again. He was out in field training so his schedule was crazy. One day he texted me, I replied and he never sent anything back so I sent him one a few days later not knowing if he was able to have his cell phone or not and he never replied. He was scheduled to come home this past week and I haven't heard from him. There is so much I want to say to him but I know I wouldn't or I might scare him. I think I regret not letting him know how much I appreciated him while we were together and now know I may never get the chance.
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