How do you maintain a friendship while trying to fall out of love?

[Vivienne]

My boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me a month ago and I'm finding it difficult to maintain a friendship while simultaneously forgetting and abandoning my feelings for him. I've known him for 8 years starting from twelve years old and we have always been best friends (with a strange mutual attraction). I know I will always hold a spot for him in my life and I will always care about him and love him.

I do not want to remove contact with him but I know I must forget about our feelings. We broke up because long distance (I went away for university and he went to school close to our home) as well as the pointless fights that came along with long distance relationships. Stress has been building on both sides until finally, he broke up with me because of an overload of stress.

The most difficult point to consider is that we are both in love with each other. I know he still cares about me and loves me and he knows I love him too. Yet, he still firmly broke up with me which shows he is ready to move on and deal with all the difficulties that come with a breakup-- something I respectfully and sadly understand.

How do I maintain my friendship with him without falling deeper in love with him?

[ThatJustHappened]

You don't. You walk away and let him go.

[Eggplant]

If you are in love, you will find a way. Some things get in the way of true love. Not temporary distance.

 

Otherwise, if it's over, you cannot be friends. It's impossible. Sorry.

[aisuru]

You give him space, take time, and focus on yourself.

 

Right now both of your identities and entwined with each other. You each need to find your own way for yourselves. Time will help.

 

If it's meant to be, cliché I know, you will return to each other.

 

Right now, just immerse yourself in the time.

[OwlSoul]

I went through break-ups with 3 different people. In all the cases we could not stay as true friends, like chatting and sharing our experience and jokes and etc. It hurts a lot to try to stay as friends at least first month after the break up. So imho, if you do not see yourself going NC, take few days of no contact doing some shopping or hanging out. Then proceed to light-contact. And so on, gradually and slowly getting used to the new situation.

Also, do not be upset about the distance. Sure, it is frustrating. My ex and I broke up because of it, but we're getting back together. The distance is co-opable when the feelings are strong. You're gitting the apple saying the break-up was built over the stress.