Hopeless80 Posted May 3, 2013 Posted May 3, 2013 (edited) Have you ever, or would you, date someone if you thought your friends and family would not approve of their appearance? There's a guy that I'm starting to have feelings for, but he has absolutely no fashion sense. I'm talking jeans with a t-shirt (not bad) or a flannel/plaid button up shirt tucked in, a baseball cap, long straggly hair, and kind of unruly facial hair. I guess you could say he's kind of rednecky. Aside from his appearance, he's a great guy! Very nice and treats everyone with respect. He's always making me laugh and we have a lot in common. I could definitely see a relationship with him, but I worry what my friends and family will say, considering his appearance. I feel horrible for even asking these questions. I feel so shallow. Edited May 3, 2013 by Hopeless80
Phoe Posted May 3, 2013 Posted May 3, 2013 I personally wouldn't let it affect me! Both of my exes had no fashion sense and I sometimes giggled to myself over some of the outfits they wore, but hey... it's just clothing. If it's really daunting, you can always kinda clean him up before meeting the family. Pick out what you want him to wear, he'd probably be relieved to have your input on what will make meeting your family less daunting. 2
Author Hopeless80 Posted May 3, 2013 Author Posted May 3, 2013 I personally wouldn't let it affect me! Both of my exes had no fashion sense and I sometimes giggled to myself over some of the outfits they wore, but hey... it's just clothing. If it's really daunting, you can always kinda clean him up before meeting the family. Pick out what you want him to wear, he'd probably be relieved to have your input on what will make meeting your family less daunting. Thanks for the helpful response. That's something to think about. 1
USMCHokie Posted May 3, 2013 Posted May 3, 2013 So what you're saying is that you wished he wore more classic, masculine outfits...? 1
Author Hopeless80 Posted May 3, 2013 Author Posted May 3, 2013 So what you're saying is that you wished he wore more classic, masculine outfits...? No, not at all. The jeans and t-shirt thing is fine with me, that's what I wear the majority of the time. I think it's more the facial hair and the tucking in of the flannel shirts that I'm more "worried" about. In all honesty, I'm more concerned about HIM hearing remarks from friends and family. I can deal with it just fine. I already KNOW that he's a great guy. I'd just hate to see him hurt over something stupid that one of my friends or family members said. Just to make this clear to everyone, I'm not perfect. I've never claimed to be perfect. There are probably things about me that guys would want me to change before dating me. I know that beauty is in the eye of the beholder and I think he's attractive. He has a fantastic personality. I just worry he'll over hear something, if someone says anything. I can deal with the comments. I just don't want him to get hurt by theme.
FitChick Posted May 3, 2013 Posted May 3, 2013 Do what a friend of mine did - make one change at a time and then give him lavish praise and more sex, saying that ever since he shaved/got a cool hair cut/wore those sexy pants, etc. you can't keep your hands off of him. He will be more likely to listen to your other suggestions. For Christmas and birthdays buy him clothes. Tell your friends to compliment him. 1
grkBoy Posted May 3, 2013 Posted May 3, 2013 If you like him, date him. From there you can find out if he just likes to dress relaxed or if he's unwilling/incapable of dressing nice. I see some guys who seriously want to only wear t-shirts, jeans, and sneakers all the time to anything...even a wedding. Other guys simply like to dress relaxed, but have nice clothes in their closets for special occasions. Date him a little...feel him out. Many guys who have little fashion sense are willing to listen to ideas. I did learn some of my fashion sense from ex-girlfriends who showed me stuff.
Feelin Frisky Posted May 3, 2013 Posted May 3, 2013 Yes, I can identify. My ex fiancé was beautiful and sexy. But she would sometimes wear a coat that made her look like an eighth-grader. And with the track shoes lowering her height it made me look like a cradle-robber. I'm talking about working on Wall St. in NY and we would meet a lot around our jobs and school at Pace University. I always wore suits and tried to look the a man's man. But suddenly I'd get the sense that if people looked at us they would wonder what's this guy doing with that girl. I didn't even know yet that she has a personality disorder and that some of her shifts were passive aggression to lure me into artificial conflicts. I later noticed other off-shoots of "butchiness" that made me start disliking her at times. I wish I knew there was mental illness there, but even if one were to tell me at the time I don't think I would have been up to understanding how hopeless that is for a LTR.
GorillaTheater Posted May 3, 2013 Posted May 3, 2013 Have you ever, or would you, date someone if you thought your friends and family would not approve of their appearance? My daughter would have to bring home a guy in a dress before I'd even notice his clothes. I'm usually busy cleaning a handgun or two.
Feelin Frisky Posted May 3, 2013 Posted May 3, 2013 Sorry, I went off into bad memory lane. I support the concern though about how your SO appears. People do judge. I have bought cloths for some g/fs to get them to retire some piece of outfitting that doesn't flatter her or us. I'm probably the original "what not to wear" and the price of my gift was to throw that other eye-sore in the St. Vincent bin.
Poppy fields Posted May 3, 2013 Posted May 3, 2013 Have you ever seen the guys from Duck Dynasty? They are not your traditionally clean cut guys, but are awesome husbands to super hot wives. Go with your gut, and try not to worry too much about him getting offended by your family's reaction. Hopefully he is confident enough to handle it.
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