Did I make the right decision

[lamenter]

So I recently met someone new and things were going great for the past month and half. He has been an amazing person and has done some wonderful and romantic things for me. Things started to get serious recently and I spent the night at his place a few days ago, and we started talking about basic things (i.e. likes and dislikes). While I've been seeing him, he's mentioned several times about taking me to visit his home country (which has kinda scared me since we hadn't really established what our relationship is) Anyway, based on this fact, I decided to ask him if he's seeing anyone else and if he wants to see other people, and he gave a very vague answer. I was not happy with what I heard so I had decided when I was leaving his house that maybe it's a good idea if I took a step back a bit. Anyway, later that night he texted me to tell me that to be honest, he has been seeing someone else but its long distance and he doesn't think its going anywhere right now. I was shocked but then he said he really liked me and thats why he's been doing the things he's been doing for me and whether we can give things time to see where things go. At first I said sure that sounds fine...but then I thought about it some more over a day and decided that I didn't want to be a part of it because I don't think he was being fair to the other woman and that its best if he made up his mind without me clouding things. I really like him and thought I'd met a really great guy but this has left a sour taste in my mouth. Did I make the right decision by telling him I was going to back out and let him figure stuff out with this woman? It feels ****ty but I guess its the mature thing to do...I don't want to complicate things for anyone involved. Let me know your thoughts.

[Eggplant]

He's multi-dating and not serious with you or anybody. So likewise you need to keep it all in perspective. It's nothing serious yet, just casual. So no need to stress about it either way. See him if and only if you want. But he's probably bad news anyway -- he lied to you about the other woman initially. Whatever you do, definitely be meeting other people.

[Ponders]

As a male, I have been in a similar position as your friend here and he is just playing the balances. If he is not prepared to commit to you or make you his main girl- you definitely made the best decision. He needs time to figure out where this long distance affair is going to take him. This doesn't mean you need to cut him from your life completely, but play the game the same as him. Keep him on the back burner while putting yourself out there meeting new men-- making new connections etc. and find someone who will be ready to put you first. If over time that person does not surface and he becomes available/ has sorted his **** out, then give it a shot then.

 

Never allow yourself to be a secondary option for someone.

 

Maintain self respect and stay cool-- you took the right action.

[lamenter]

@Ponders and Eggplant, I agree with both of your comments to keep it moving and put myself out there to meet other people. Despite all the good things he's done, I am taking aback by the news that someone else is in the picture...I've put myself in her shoes, it can't be fun. At least I know about her existence but she doesn't know about me...but I guess thats not my problem. Ah well!.. onto the next one I guess. Thanks

[Ponders]

I'm trying to meet new people as well so I can relate on that front. I'm working on a post right now about my current situation as I slowly break-up with my neighbor/ house mate. Sticky situation... hope you take a read once i post it. Have a good day.