itto ogami Posted May 4, 2013 Posted May 4, 2013 I was dumped with a facebook message so deleting her was instantaneously simple. And yes, she actually freaked out about me unfriending her after she even changed her status to include the new guy an hour after I deleted her. She still doesn't get that a facebook dump is the ultimate disrespect. So that shows how embedded this social media friend entitlement is....
Author blueshoes14 Posted May 4, 2013 Author Posted May 4, 2013 Can I ask why you're not mad at him? It sounds like you are (or at least resent him: "he gave up on me too easily"). For what it's worth, I would be shocked if you weren't mad at all. He gave up on your long term relationship, for a reason that you admit to be BS. I would (and have, in my experience) feel extremely hurt, resentful, and disappointed. I have really strong resentment towards him. I constantly ask myself why he would give up so easily and be so selfish. Sometimes it got to the point where I was so angry I wanted to call him up and yell at him. Now it's just sadness; I respect his right to be happy because I still deeply care about him after being in a LTR. Also, I know that my resentment is temporary and I do not wish to act on it, or come across that I'm acting on it. After the break-up I concentrated on my dignity and self-respect. I don't want to give you unwanted advice but maybe you are having trouble connecting to your anger? It's a common problem for women, and I know I've struggled with it all my life. (I'm reading Mars and Venus Starting Over and it's really helping with the healing process). Interesting observation. I haven't heard about this problem before. I do have problems dealing with anger/resentment. Sometimes it's on full blast without any logic behind it, and sometimes it's bottled up. Keep as much distance as possible until more time is passed and you've healed more. Otherwise you guys will start reading into each others' status/photos, or post things hoping they'll see it. Everyone does it. It makes it easier on yourself to become whole again if you're not inundated with images and life updates from the one you shared your life and love with. You can console yourself with the real possibility that one day down the road, it might work out but for now you need space to heal, and space includes digital! True, very true. That was my exact thought-process when deleting him. And it's been working wonderfully! I'm glad I did not take the chance to keep him in my life after the break-up since there's more things that can go wrong than right. I was dumped with a facebook message so deleting her was instantaneously simple. And yes, she actually freaked out about me unfriending her after she even changed her status to include the new guy an hour after I deleted her. She still doesn't get that a facebook dump is the ultimate disrespect. So that shows how embedded this social media friend entitlement is.... Some people are extremely self-centered. I don't understand what goes through their heads to think that you have no right to unfriend them or request any kind of space/time to yourself. Apparently they had a right to cut us out of their lives in a major way, but we can't do it in even the smallest of ways. Hypocrites. I'm sorry that you went through such a frustrating experience.
itto ogami Posted May 5, 2013 Posted May 5, 2013 (edited) I'm more upset over the way she dumped me rather than the why (tho that was crummy too). And the fact she keeps trying to add me (!) so I can watch her new "relationship" blossom and sends me -- unanswered -- messages about missing me and wishing I would say something...She doesn't get that even a phone call asking to meet or explain is the least somebody could do if they truly cared about your eventual friendship. She now asks if I'd be angry if she went to my next music gig! (I have not blocked her yet because I guess even I find that excessive and to be honest, I've felt somewhat mollified by her entreaties) Anybody that can explain what she's doing, I'm all ears. But No Contact has to include FB. Edited May 5, 2013 by itto ogami
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